Waking up- thorns and roses

Shattered glass but it's in slow motion 

cant quite open my eyes 

then a angry shaft jabs me 

clearing the fog for a 

second or two 

My rage pulsating 

below the hardened edges 

keeping me quiet

 I sense the 

fear 

Changing vibrations 

blood's wet tear 

reminding me 

keeping me clear ,for a 

second or two 

I cant look at you , cant 

look at me 

somehow I blame myself 

it's familiar I guess 

i'm captured 

many frames 

no connection 

where's my protection 

A travelled road 

a scattered eye 

Reviews

[Carl Drake Barnard]

It's Nice,lol ok its good rhythm needs a bit more attention maby apostrophes would do better;can't it slows down the readers paste. Use short but full sentences also keep rhythm in mind :) hope wasn't to harsh

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

im totally dyslexic so all that grammar stuff goes over my head :) opps ;)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

lol,lies... All Lies! :) see how much feeling it can put in your work :)

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

hahaha I am dyslexic though

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

I didnt get hardly any of what you said ....

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

I have to feel it ..... so you need to explain in pictures maybe thats dyslexia or just express better and why ! lol

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

I dont like thinking too much with poetry to be honest , I just let it come and not worry too much
the rest of my life is not like that ..

[Carl Drake Barnard]

final comment about it,I you struggle just write your heart out,don't worry abt it now people will see depth in your work and feel you so be yourself !! :)

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

I do write my heart :) ill stick a comma here and there ahhahahaha :) Im a heart centered writer I dont worry about the rest coz then im stuck in my head ... :( but saying that , the comma may come i handy sometimes like you described it can slow the reader down and maybe create more feeling x

[Wolfwind]

This piece has so many images that flow from it. It's hard to pic out anyone theme that stands out more than any other. I guess that the overall feeling I got from it though, was of someone who's been on the road of life, moving around for a long time and the images that pass by are like a flickering movie screen, not quite real anymore.
Great Ink!
Aaron

[Lily Mae]

This is a very emotional and powerful write.. I love it.. Great expression...x

[Star Wolf]

Awesome writing. The images in this are powerful, very gripping. Your talent and skill shine in this poem. I really enjoyed reading this poem.

[Tina Kline]

Amazing write describing the bitterness of anger, directed at self and others. This is great!