Adoptive Brothers

Her golden locks floated in the air as the wind blew in on her. She was a 13 year old girl whom people called Princess Tory. She was one of the empress's triplets,

descendant of the 3 fortune sisters (Hope,Faith and Destiny) and of the great sorceress Toryana (Tory was named after her). She was listening to music on her iPod, sitting on a rock, on the beach. She never knew why, but the beach always made her feel well even in the darkest moments of her life. 

After a while she decided to go home. She walked through the forest of gnomes instead of passing through the town. She hated the sounds of the cars,the noise of telephones and mobiles,people chatting and even the whispering went on the list of things she didn't like about town. Globeria (the capital city of Magyk) wasn't that bad for her, but she preferred the tune of the mermaids, the wind brushing through trees, goblins eating their breakfast (she thought it was rather funny they ate it so quickly and made such a mess) and even the bark of a dog made her life happier. She loved the nature and the magic. 

After a while she reached a huge house (little mansion) in a big opening. She whispered a word or two and the door opened. Once she got inside she saw her brothers watching TV (as usual), her triplet sister (Angela) shouting "This dress is going down the shoot. This one too..."

(as usual, she thought again) and her elder sister (Miranda or Mira) chatting online.

Suddenly Mira came down.

"I want water" she said picking up a magazine and sitting on the sofa.

"Whatever" objected her brothers.

Then she looked at Tory.

"Don't you even think about it" she immediately told her and started to go upstairs when a voice came in.

"Hello, mum" mumbled Harry and James who had been watching TV all day.

"Harry and James Ramirez, turn off the television immediately!" snapped Fabian.

The two brothers turned off the TV and looked at their parents.

"Angela, darling, please come down!" shouted Natasha at the top of her voice.

Angela stopped her fashion problem (what she usually called it) and ran downstairs.

"What's the news?" they all insisted wanting to go back to what they were doing except James and Harry who had by now already been scolded by their father for the 5th time this day.

"We adopted two 10 year old boys" said Natasha in a strong tone. The door opened and two boys came in. They were exactly the same height a 10 year old would be. One boy had chestnut hair and dark sea blue eyes, the other had black hair and emerald green eyes. They looked as if they were twins thought Tory in her head.

The 5 children were ashtonished.

"Now we need more girls!" mentioned Angela in a disappointed voice.

"Angela, stop making faces, you're going to scare these boys to death commented James laughing at the same time.

"I'm going to kill you one day!" she answered in a joke.

"I'm Edward" said the boy with blue eye who didn't stop looking around the house various times as if he wanted to memorize it.

"And I'm Aidan" notified the boy with green eyes who looked at the whole family intensively.

James stared at them for a while,thinking what was strange about them.

"You got a sea elf and a mountain elf!" observed James first pointing at Edward and then at Aidan.

"Yup!" answered his parents nearly about to get out.

"Now, Tory show these boys the house and James if anything happens to them it's your fault " instructed Fabian to the 2 children he most trusted.

"Bye, dears!" said Natasha and went out the door followed by Fabian.

"Let me guess you're James the smart one, Miranda the cool one, Harry the kind one, Angela the fashion one and Toryan the musician" revealed the two elfs kindly.

"How did you know our talents?" asked Angela being surprised at this for no one had ever guessed her talent before.

"We are elfs and elfs know everything they are supposed to" commented Aidan and Edward in unison.

"Don't you two even think of getting me in trouble" advised James hoping they wouldn't do such thing.

"Ok" they mentioned.

"But if you want to get someone else in trouble, now that's something else" he completed the sentence.

Their faces lightened up and James could see they could mischievous at times.

"James, wanna go and watch TV upstairs?" asked Harry waiting for a quick answer.

"But dad scolded us for watching TV we can't watch even if we wanted to, he put an avoiding curse of the TV, we can't even touch it" he finished and passed his hand through the TV.

"Yeah, he did do that. But it doesn't mean that Tory's and Angela's aren't working" he thought

"That's a great idea!" spoke James suddenly turning to Tory's and Angela's direction.

"Ten bucks each for each of us" the girls added.

James and Harry gave 10 bucks to each of them and went upstairs.

"You two are stupid, Harry and James can't even take care of cousin Marie, how do expect them to take care of your television" advised Mira whilst going upstairs and shutting her door harder than ever.

"Time to show you around" announced Tory to the 10 year old boys in front of her.

They shook there heads saying yes, snapped their fingers and a pile of bags came up.

Tory looked fascinated they knew more magic art than she had expected them to.

"I think I'm going to check on the TV, I mean I don't want anything to happen to it" began Angela who didn't trust the boys as much as Tory did. They had done many things to Angela which were uncountable to Tory. 

When Angela reached the attic which was her room and Tory's she screamed.

Her dresses,shoes,accessories and other clothes were all ruined. She and James had a fight, which consisted on throwing pearls,badges,pencils and all the other things they found in there way. Once they had finished fighting like kids, the room was in such a mess you couldn't even see the television.

"I told you!" shouted Mira's voice from her room.

"And this is your room" spoke Tory opening the door to the room her new brothers would live in. 

"Wow, this house is big" confirmed Aidan amazed that it wasn't the palace.

"Yeah, I know. Anyway put your things in their places and come down for dinner at 9 o'clock" explained Tory which didn't like the rules Nora their young nanny made.

"Ok!" they responded.

Once Tory got to her room she said:

"What a mess!" 

"Wow! You've just noticed" babbled Harry who was exhausted of hearing the shout's of James and Angela.

Tory took her scarlet wand out and mumbled these words: 

This place is a mess

So I have to confess

That I want less

The spell worked perfectly and the room was all in order.

"Out of here!"  commanded Tory and Angela at the same time.

Harry and James walked out but Harry returned in a second.

"Can we have our money back?" he asked

Tory gave him the look of what do you think.

And he went away. 

 

 

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems and pls feedback

Reviews

[Ruby]

It's good :) 100/100

[.]

Glad u like it! :)

[Ruby]

:)

[Schyala]

It's really short and not very descriptive, go back and make every sentence you wrote into a paragraph. This way you get a lot more in the chapter (the one now would be like two pages in a regular book), and the reader can picture everything you are saying. Also, no offense but the font is really annoying. It's so big and it hurts my eyes, you might want to change it to something smaller and work on the dialogue, it's a little choppy. The concept is interesting, now just review it and write it to your best :)

[.]

tnx for the review and the writing is to big I know

[Taylor H.]

I felt it went a little fast. I thought it was an interesting concept but you wrote it in a way that felt really rushed.

[.]

I know I was in a hurry anyway I'm always ready to change it. Tnx for reviewing

[Taylor H.]

You're welcome

[Rhianne Ney]

Don't add too much parenthesis... you can change some proper names to pronouns... because too much repetition might bore some readers...
Anyway, this is still a good write...
Just some few revisions

[.]

tnx I always apreciate suggestions tnx again

[Rhianne Ney]

your welcome..

[Timeless-Chan]

The dialogue is a little stiff in some places but not bad and the charcters seem to be pretty interesting. I'd suggest giving a little more background information on the children later in the book so that we can get a better feel of who they are:) You're doing good so far tho so keep it up!
~Dreamer!

[.]

That's a great idea. And tnx for reading

[Timeless-Chan]

sure thing:)