Writer's __(Fill In The Blank)__

Swimming in the water

Swimming all around.

Swimming in the ocean.

On my own in my own world.

Just there

And swimming.

Words

Coming to mind without care.

A whirlwind of vocabulary that is hardly kind.

Swimming, flowing constantly throughout

My mind.

Trying to find sleep

Words mingle together

Creating forms that

I must keep.

Deep in conversation

Words begin their journey,

However

I must emphasize,

The words are always

Present.

Just louder during times they

Find fit.

Frustrated, trying to understand what’s going on

Outside my mind,

What’s going on in class

But the words are itching to be written down.

Try an I might, telling the words

“No, not now, I need to sleep,”

but they are words, they do not listen

Never have I fallen prey to the illness that all writers dread,

The sudden block of words flowing to their heads.

It’s quite a shock,

How my words never stop.

Begin writing one series of words, don’t get to finish

As a result of new words, that do

not belong with the

original set.

Finish those, go back finish the others.

Process never stops

Like animals,

attacking without hesitation,

Demanding to be heard

Trillions of words in my head

and on my notebooks

But only mere thousands have been heard.

My words are angry

My words are sad

Filled with joy

Often depressed,

Occasionally coy.

These words make me

For I make these words.

But do not for one second think

That these words are me

These words

Are mere interpretations

Of what I see, hear, and witness.

These words

Are My interpretations of what I see through

Myself, but mostly through the world itself.

These words,

Have driven people mad.

Trying to find sleep,

Words continue to mingle, not as loud

But creating forms I must keep

Trying to find sleep,

These words will be heard

Capture the one that are loudest.

Now my mind has been assured.

Words forming

when instead I should be focusing on dreadful math.

I hear the words

that people say.

Heavy eyelids,

Head spinning,

Just want to rest for a spell

Lightheaded, unconcentrated.

Drowning in words.

Drowning in their noisy sound.

Even now, i am not feeling well.

Some people would call this,

The writers gift

Or is the the curse of words?

Author's Note

This came to me, (or should I say came Out of me) at 2:11 am 3-5-2018.
I have many ¨medical issues¨, one of them is majorly anxiety of almost every kind. Once my mind gets fixated on something, its as if i'm in a spiral that gets tighter and tighter, but never ending. I get lost in thoughts, strings and strings of thoughts, then the course of those strings change, and it starts all over again. The biggest struggle with this, is not taking the medication for it. I refuse to take the medication for simple reasons. 1, if I take the medication, I won't be able to go into the navy. If you have been on certain meds for a specific length of time, you won't be medically cleared. 2, I want to learn to control this without the meds, and so far I have. With this piece, I'm letting all of who reads this, peek into what it's like. If you have ever heard of the author John Green, one of his newer books, Turtles All The Way Down, explains this feeling perfectly.

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Emo, this is a very good glimpse into a writer's mind. It is not all hearts and roses, nor is it always straight forward. Quite often the thoughts are jumbled, disjointed and seem to take on a life of their own.

Let them flow onto the page. They can be re-arranged later or not, if that's how they work best.

Good on you for wanting to control your medical issues without meds. It's tough but you'll be better off if you can do it.

Good luck getting into the navy.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Thanks for entering very good
All the best of luck

[Phill Oz O'fee]

The journey, using expressive free writing, brings the reader closer to the themes and mindset of the writer – and – your composition structure has achieved this result! I could feel the tension and anxiety within the text and clearly understood your frustrations. The reference (in the note) to John Green, reminded me of one of his quotes; “The great thing about figurative language and symbols and the like in novels is that you don’t have to be conscious of them for them to work."
I would encourage you to continue to express your inner self through writing; but also seek out like minded kindred spirits to share your feelings! Bless … :-)

[Davidgeo]

I always do enjoy a good stream of conscious type of writing.

You should probably edit this though. There is more potential here than I think you are aware of.

Also, simple line breaks and center spacing do not qualify as pacing. There are a few spots were that breaks down and sounds hokey to the point of removing the reader from the story. It's just a structure issue though and easily fixed. A minor issue.

You write good and stuff... even though your glasses are way too big for your cat face.

[Maxwell Ryder]

It is most definitely a curse. Writing simply is the cure. Big words and inundation, I find, throw a monkey wrench in everything. What's liked generally by readers is simple, very simple. We do fight this urge. Thanks for putting it in words.

[Amrita]

Such a powerful piece it is!
And totally relatable..!
I always like the way you portrayed the feelings and emotions in your writings.
Thanks for sharing it..
Loved it :)

[alanwgraham]

Hi. Well done for sharing. I found this very familiar as I have bipolar and when I'm high I suffer from a surfeit of words and ideas. You are in a great dilemma about meds. I have found that without taking lithium it gets destructively out if control. I can't say that is the same for everyone. You might enjoy my poem Manicarus written when I was manic. It is on one of my last pages 7 or 8. All the best with your own plans.
Alan

[barleygirl]

I have to admit, I liked your author's note better than your poem, altho both are good information & go together well. I am bipolar, took meds for 4 years & hated being "flat" in a zombie-like way, so I understand what you're saying about handling life without meds, which I've done for many years now. I applaud you for knowing what you want & overcoming life's challenges. Your poem is a good way to show how it might feel to be inside your head & it's very powerfully written! Quite unlike anything I've read about anxiety (which I also have) & I always love originality! Fondly, Margie

[Alli]

I loved how at times your words and phrases were disjointed, starting and stopping at seemingly random places. I think there is beauty in that chaos that writers create and then manipulate into something that the world can understand. Amazing poem, you are an incredibly talented writer and I can't wait to read more of your work!

[Coyote Poetry]

You re right my friend. The writers curse. We see everything and feel too much. I liked the poem. Wild thoughts make good poetry. Thank you for sharing your words and your thoughts.
Coyote

[mou]

it's the writers gift..you have penned my feelings toward writing actually..those night, those butterflies ...it's very beautiful !!!
mou.