Chapter 7

Chapter 7

A Chapter by Forgotten

Wind whistled as it travelled through the evergreen trees; the breeze was warm as it blew across the water. The eternal wind picked up the gentle waves and helped them travel like a mother teaching her child to walk. The water reflected the intense sun, the sky was clear today, and the rays ever so blinding to the normal human. The lake was clear and clean. Along the shore, Mirons had their daily drink from the nutritious lake. The lake was large and covered at least a few miles, and many species of fish inhabited these gentle waters. From the distance a small boat began to emerge from behind the rays of light, it was a small row boat and two people seemed to man it. Damion was floating among the waves gently carrying him wherever the wind decided it wanted to. The twosome had spotted Damion lying in the water and the boat stopped slowly but surely beside him. They pulled him aboard the boat and led him down. They two within the boat were a middle aged man and a young girl. The man checked Damion’s breathing and placed his hand upon his stomach. He was breathing and his heart rate seemed normal.

“It seems that we have another special one among us now” the man said,

“Why would you say that father?” the girl replied, her voice was dull and emotionless,

“That arch is the only way here remember, no mere mortal could climb down that cliffside”

“Oh yes I remember” she replied dully yet again,

“We better get this young one inside” he smiled at his daughter and began to row back to shore.

 

The boat docked at a small pier and floated in slowly. The girl jumped off onto the pier as her father threw the rope to her; she tied a knot onto the hook on the pier and tied it tightly. The waves rocked the boat gently against the side making a low sounding bump every so often. The sound wood generally makes when it hits other wood. The man pulled Damion up onto his shoulder and carried him off the boat. He started up the pier as his daughter followed close behind. She had a blank expression as she did and it never really changed at all. The pier ended on shore, it was a small beach with fine white sand. It didn’t last for long though, the beach was short no more than a few metres. As he stepped off the beach it revealed a small town ahead of him, the buildings were all made of the local wood and all well looked after. The man stopped and pulled out a big silver key, and placed it in the keyhole of the building in front of him. As the key turned the locked clicked echoing through the inside of the building. He turned the doorknob and as he opened the door it was followed with a creak as it closed behind him. The collision of the wood between the frame and the door left the room with a reverbing echo. The man still held Damion on his shoulder and headed past the hand crafted beams and made his way to the stairs. They creaked on each step as he placed his foot on them until he reached the top floor. This floor was split into three rooms and one long corridor which held all of the rooms that guest stayed in. He made his way through a small living room which held three wooden chairs all with their own personal engraving. It also held a small wooden table which gave safe haven to a few items that lay upon it. He opened the door on the far side of the room which led to the corridor. Each room had one small bed which already had been set up for people to stay and a small cabinet for people who stay there long periods of time to store their clothing. He passed the first room and could hear the obvious snoring of a man inside. He passed two more rooms until finally he reached the end room which was different from the rest, it contained two small beds one which was mess as the covers were still all crumpled up, he looked at the bed and sighed.

“How many times do I need to tell Rose, always make your bed, we’re trying to set a good example here” he lay Damion down on the opposite bed which was still made up. Damion sunk into mattress, it was soft to the touch. “There now, I don’t know whether you can hear me but welcome to our town, I know there’s got to be something special about you” he stopped abruptly and walked to the door frame, stopped and looked back into the room, “Now it’s just to find out what it is” He exited the room and closed the door behind him. He walked back down the hallway and walked through into the living room. His daughter was sat down on one of the chairs writing in a small leather bound book, it was brown and smooth against her fingers. Her father stopped and smiled.

“Writing in your diary again?” she jumped and looked back, her face still showed no movement in expression.

“Sorry father, I was just-“

“I know” he stopped her “Your writing down about the boy we just fished out of the lake” he chuckled “Your very predictable Rose”. She looked blankly back at him.

“Not a lot happens around here”

“Well there’s a reason for that and you know why so please don’t ask about it”

“I know father I know what you……” she stopped “We did for this town” her father looked at her and smiled. It didn’t last long however and became a mournful sigh.

“I don’t like seeing you like this sweetheart, but it’s for the best” he sat down next to her. She placed her hand upon his.

“I know it is and I really don’t mind, yes I know I’m finding it hard…” she looked at the floor “but things will get better” her father sighed yet again despite her touching speech.

“It’s not that Rose. It’s the fact that you seem to be finding it hard finding a man to love you” nothing showed on her face to show that the sentence he said hurt.

“Yes I know I’m finding it hard but it’s not the only thing that’s important and besides I’m only 17. But I understand your concern and I’m sure I will find someone” he smiled at her and his eyes comforted her,

“I know you will sweetheart, he’s probably in this village waiting for you” He stood up soon after, well its nearly 4 o’clock, people will be turning up soon, I better serve them.

“Wait” she said suddenly, “what about the boy?”

“I’ve put him in your room, I’m sure you can look after him until he gets better, am I correct?”

“Yes father” she answered quickly. “will he be sleeping in there for the time being?”

“Yes, for the time being, I’m sure he’s not dangerous and anyway, from what your mother taught you, I’m sure you can take care of yourself” he winked at her and took off out of the room and headed downstairs sending an echoed creak up behind him. Rose looked back down into her diary and began finishing her writing.

 

April Tuesday 13th 1832

 

“We found a boy in the lake today, there’s something odd about him though, he seems different but different like me I mean. Father was really nice to me today, he took me out on his boat, this is the first time since mother drowned that he trusted me in the boat with him. The boy is sleeping in my room he seems exhausted but not injured. How did he get there I’m wondering, Father said only special people can get into our town, so does that mean he’s special too?

I’m feeling a little alone today, I don’t know why though, I feel like I’m just one of a kind and I know I tell father it’s fine but it still hurts sometimes. I might go and visit mother’s grave later, it’s been a while since I took her some flowers. I don’t know this boy who sleeps in my room, but I kind of hope that he’ll understand me and maybe even like me, I guess I’ll see soon.

The Inn was busy, it was now 4:24 and the usual’s had turned up for their daily or even weekly drink. The evening sun shone through the windows and was open to let in the warm breeze. Chatter filled the Inn and drinks were being poured.

“So Alastair anything new going on with you” an middle aged man from behind the bar in a trench coat sat with his pint of beer and began talking to Rose’s father. Alastair stood cleaning cups with a white piece of cloth.

“Not much Sherman, not much. Things seem quiet at the moment”

“I was on my fishing boat and I saw from the distance that you picked a young boy of the water”

“Yes I did, my dear Rose spotted him out from the pier slacking off from work as usual. Well I let her off for the day but she would usually be slacking off down there”

“So how is the boy?” he questioned,

“He seems fine, his breathing is a little shaky but he’ll be fine” he smiled

“Alas some good news” he raised his glass “To the safety of the boy”

“And the grant the boy safety” Alastair continued, the rest of the Inn echoed,

“To good health!” Alastair laughed and as did Sherman.

“So has Rose still been frequently swimming?” he asked,

“Yes, I don’t like it. But I can’t stop my dear little Rose from doing what she loves and she loves the water” he shrugged and turned wash another glass. “By the way Sherman I must ask you something and I want you to keep it between us if you could?” Sherman raised an eyebrow,

“Should we meet as the usual place?” he said quietly

“Of course” he smiled and went quiet from then on.

 

Rose looked stepped up from her chair and walked over to the window, she looked outside to see the sun was coming down. The brightest stars were beginning to shine within the vast canvas.

“Must be about 8:00 now” she muttered to herself. “Hmmm, I’ve got a lot of work to do tomorrow. I better get myself to bed” She turned on her pivot and walked up to a small cupboard, the wood squeaked slightly as she pulled it open she pulled out a small white candle which had be used before, the wax had started to drip down the edges. She placed it on a brass candle and pulled out a match from her dress. She struck the match along the wall and as sparks jumped off it lit up. She leaned the wick into the flame and as that lit in turn she blew the match out. She stepped carefully as she got into the corridor, the room was pitch black devoid of light; the reason she lit the candle. As she reached her room she looked in to see Damion still led down in the dark. She placed the candle on her bedside cabinet and looked at her bed.

“I bet father had something to say about that” she sat down and looked across to Damion, she felt nothing inside her, yet something did bubble inside a trapped feeling perhaps. She looked downwards seeming almost upset yet still she felt nothing, just the momentary wisp of a feeling. She looked across to him once more and looked at his face. She stopped for a few seconds. She stood up quickly and pulled her dress off to reveal only a bra, underpants and the rest, bare skin. She climbed into bed and pulled her covers over her, the soft material brushed up against her skin as it advanced up her body. She led there for a few seconds and the words from her diary echoed in her mind ‘I wonder if he’ll like me’ soon after the words dissipated and she slipped off into sleep.

 

Damion:

 

“No! Ira! Don’t leave me” cried out Damion, he held stubbornly to a rock, he looked back but could only see the waterfall behind him. “Help, please help” he shouted loudly but the waterfall nullified his calls for help. The sheer cold water rushed powerfully past him numbing his arms, his grip was loosening as the rock began to make his hand ache. All of a sudden his hand slipped and the water began to carry him further down. His back slammed against another rock and spun him around to face the waterfall straight on. The water pulled him under a metre away from the edge. Damion could see nothing but water all around him but soon the waterfall opened up. He began to fall and below the rocks was jagged but there was no sign of his brother. He yelled out, “Please help anyone” but he knew it was too late for any help to save him.

He was mere metres form the bottom when suddenly a hooded figure came rushing out from the bushes from the ground to the left of the waterfall. It jumped a caught Damion and landed perfectly on the other side bending the knees. The figure stood up straight and placed Damion down on the floor. Damion looked upwards and spotted the figures eyes; they were Han purple in colour. A mask was placed on their face stopped any sign of recognition. Damion looked up in fear at the figure as it began to walk away.

“Thank you” he croaked. The figure stopped and darted away into the bushes and vanished.




© 2011 Forgotten



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Interesting, but there were grammar problems. Because it was a long chapter, I read it in a google drive document to find errors. Lol, I'm not copying, it's just so I can go back and find them.
~At the beginning, with the two in the boat, saying who was in the boat, you said "they" when it should be "the."
~When laying Damion down in the bed, there was a sentance that was a run on. "He turned the doorknob and as he opened the door it was followed with a creak as it closed behind him."
~The next error is more of a tell, not show. "This floor was split into three rooms and one long corridor which held all of the rooms that guest stayed in." Another way to write this is "One long corridor lay ahead, accompanied by all the rooms the guests stayed in."
~A little ways down from that, you were missing "was (a) mess."
~Next, just another run on. “Yes I know I’m finding it hard but it’s not the only thing that’s important and besides I’m only 17."
~I think you meant to put quotations here: He stood up soon after, well its nearly 4 o’clock, people will be turning up soon, I better serve them.
~Throughout the diary entry was run ons and grammar. Basically, too many commas.
~The next paragraph, the first sentence was a runon, and the next was worded weirdly.
~A few words that were funny and run on. "Rose looked stepped up from her chair and walked over to the window, she looked outside to see the sun was coming down."
I know this was a long review, but I just thought you might want specifics about what was wrong. But this was a good chapter, and I kind of like Rose. She seems to be living quietly, as I call it. Where she feels all these things, but doesn't voice them. I like how you actually gave me a date on this. I never realized it was in the 1800's...

Before I continue, I want to know if it's okay, though.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Of course that's awesome :) this really helps and detailed reviews help me out. Glad you liked rose .. read more
Silent Wolf

3 Years Ago

Alright, then I shall continue this. :3
A very good chapter. I like the old man and the girl. I like the way you allow each chapter to have description of area, room and people. Making the story come alive. No weakness in this chapter. A excellent chapter.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago



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Added on August 26, 2011
Last Updated on August 26, 2011


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Forgotten
Forgotten

Gloucestershire, Stroud, United Kingdom



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My real name is John-Paul Crawford, I do voluntary work at Stroud FM and hopefully after my training will be allowed my own slot on air. Writing takes up most of my time, I'm always trying to better m.. more..

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