Imitation of Empathy

Imitation of Empathy

A Poem by Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

when I revealed to him

that my love was a primal estuary --

            a pulsing artery

            emerging from the nucleus

            of creation’s womb

he retrieved a silver flask from his pocket

and began taking all that he could carry

 

when I revealed to him

that my love was a foundation stone --

            the core of my inner temple

            where muses worshiped

            in samite mantles and bare feet

he produced a rust-red chisel and began to carve

a goddess statue -- in my image --

but he cut too deeply and my heart wept

a pool of sacrificial starlight

 

when I revealed to him

that my love was an orchard in summer bloom --

            I ached for him to breathe

            beneath the bowers, listening

            to the whispers of my fragile leaves

instead he chose to scale my branches,

reaching for the ripest fruit without regard

for the bruised petals beneath his blind feet


© 2013 Girl Friday (Sarah W.)



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Damn... you seem to have exposed a part of my soft underbelly. In reflection, perhaps the flask was only a sort of false courage; for the cowardice - what man would not tremble in the presence of the goddess? The scraping of harsh, rusty iron upon virgin marble is less forgiveable but none the less a pathetic attempt to construct a more enduring form of acrostic for what the eyes of man can never, ever fully see. But, it is the bountiful and cruel insensitivity that presupposes life must always have a goal and only the "ripest fruit" is worthy of such endeavor... a confirmation of that base nature as all possess. I am wont to gather up those bruised petals and embrace them as tenderly as is possible for they are the essence of life's glory; so beautiful, so fragile, so fleeting. For me, you've done well with this one, Sarah.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, my friend. I am always so happy when I touch upon something that gets to you emo.. read more



Reviews

Your voice here feels and sounds so very assured and I like it a lot.
when I revealed to him
that my love was a foundation stone --
the core of my inner temple
where muses worshiped
in samite mantles and bare feet
he produced a rust-red chisel and began to carve
a goddess statue -- in my image --

...The flow here is just brilliant!


Posted 4 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

Thank you, my friend!
The silver flask is such a hard, glittering image to me. It shows that he just can't handle opening himself up to her. He has his own demons chewing at him. Then it moves on to carving that idol, he wants to create an image that he can sit in front of. The real woman is too much, too much. He feels so selfish to me, he doesn't care! He takes the bits from her that will satisfy him, no heed for her beauty that he crushes. Sarah, this is a lovely, heartbreaking piece. Angi~

Posted 4 Years Ago


I am in so much awe as I travel around your writing. If this is what life brings in talent I need MUCH MORE life!

Posted 4 Years Ago


There are those who destroy instead of love. crack the bones, suck the marrow - raze the village and salt the earth. And unfortunately - they come in pretty little packages we can't help but open - like Pandora without Hope to diffuse the burn. It is why some of us are born hard....mean spirited. So we aren't blundered and turned under the soil.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

You know, no matter how many times I am stepped on, I never feel the hardening of my heart. Maybe w.. read more
Gorgeous description of the attensions of those
Who come hungry and bring no water to share.
Please drop by pndrgn@wordpress.com and leave a review and
A link to your site as I want to read more of your work as you write.
Alex

Posted 4 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

Thank you, Alex.
Pndrgn99

4 Years Ago

You are most welcome : )
Nice the way you portray the emotions of one person's open love for the other and again, that other's selfish streak as if he see's this as some type of 'free lunch' to enjoy as and when !

A great expressive poem !

Posted 4 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

Thank you for really reading into this one, Tom!
when we give ourselves like this...the risk is great...vulnerability can really come back to bite us when another has such disregard.

jacob

Posted 4 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

So true, Jacob...I wish it weren't so.
your words wrap so beautifully around this pain. i love the form of this and the parallelism between the stanzas. there is always something special about your italicized sections- like you're letting us in on a little secret.

i know this feeling all too well. almost like they're loving you...but the wrong way. with a complete disregard and trampling along all of your feelings without realizing what is being done. this is definitely one of my favorite pieces of yours that i've read, sarah. such beautiful imagery and metaphor.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

I love your interpretation of this one, Dana...thank you so much! You need to post something new so.. read more
Dana Alsamsam

4 Years Ago

i hate everything i've written in the past week :( none of it makes any sense at all. i'm in a reall.. read more
Your title says so much but your descriptions say it all. To reveal our innermost being and to have that knowledge handled in a cavalier way slices that vulnerability to pieces. I was especially enamored by the second stanza. Another beautiful poem fraught with emotion.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much for really "seeing" this one :)
I did not know until now the art of describing the most heartbroken moments of life with such a beauty. This piece brought me a new sense of writing in rhythm, i can hear the echo of a mourning heart but i can not see or feel the tears, all i could see was smile; the most beautiful yet sad.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

4 Years Ago

You are so very kind, my friend!

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Added on August 10, 2013
Last Updated on August 10, 2013

Author

Girl Friday (Sarah W.)
Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

The Beach, CA



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"She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire." - Charles Bukowski A NOTE TO MY FRIENDS: Thank you, everyone, who has supported me so kindly on this site. I am humbled by your kind revie.. more..

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