Sunshine

 

 

Sunshine

 

I stayed in hell thinking

    I could wait it out.

   Stay busy

til it played itself out.

Then the spasm

    next the seizure

      and the lights go out.

Still nothing to write about.

   Until I think about

        my good times on the surface

           in the sun.

How I miss my sunshine.

Reviews

[Randall Richard]

this was hard for me to relate too, i got the feel for what you were portraying, but many of your images are a bit overused, which for me often makes me reflect on other, lesser pieces that i have read, and distracts me from your theme. it's not bad, but with more original, personal language it could be better. i hate to critique something so personal if it is written from personal experience, but i think you could personalise this, put a face on the body

[Morgan A Lynch]

nice work... ienjoyed the poem..

[T. L. O'Neal]

Enjoyed the poem and hope your sun shines again. T

[Lucy Kennedy]

I've been there. Not to sure how this all relates to you...but I hope you find your sunshine again...or perhaps a new spot to enjoy it from. :)

[Darryl Salach]

I think it's time you broke out of this hell you live in...run man!!!run!!!!lol

[TL Boehm]

Until I think about
my good times on the surface
in the sun.

in the light is always better.....or so I am told.
This is a wonderful poem - the short lines convey so much.

[Gary H]

I read the tags and looked at the picture just so I was sure I understood what this was about.
Interesting that you mention being on the surface of the sun as my impression is one of heat that burns into your head. The closing line gives thoughts of a better time ahead, what you miss and yearn for.
Enjoyed this a lot. Definately a worthy read.

[P_evg_poet]

its easier to get in there than it is to get out.....yet its doable.....she a glimpse of light...seek after it......

[Jeff "jazzman"..]

This truly is a very deep piece, you work is amazing....Excellent write!

[Killer In The Wind]

Nice Work H A M
i enjoyed it
K.I.W

[The Mongoloids Cafe]

We agree. Favorite line...

I stayed in hell
thinking
I could wait it out.
Stay busy til
it played itself out.


Very nice.