Twelve Shoes

Twelve Shoes

A Poem by Gee
"

The last journey of a loved one

"
Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison,
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.



















© 2017 Gee



Author's Note

Gee
Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

My Review

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Reviews

A amazing story written in the poetry. I like the places and thoughts shared. You create a life and a journey. I liked how you used the twelve shoes in the poem. Thank you Gee for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Coyote
Coyote Poetry

1 Year Ago

Cheers back to you my friend.
This write is beautifully heavy.. Each verse brought more silence and then the silence reigned in my heart. Thank you for sharing....

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you Bala, one of my semi sensible scribblings
Bala Gorthi

1 Year Ago

Not all can bring out such perfect pieces from semi sensible scribblings. Keep sending more semi scr.. read more
Gee

1 Year Ago

Lol, cheers...
And the pattern is ad infinitum. Whether horizontal, or hanging as 'Strange Fruit'. Well done.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Joe, appreciate the review
You set the tone very well. Leading the reader into the scene like a spectator as if you were whispering this into their ears - quietly - out of reverance.
Twelve shoes is a really poignant visual - the pallbearers.
The single word "Why?" is excruciatingly loud in this setting.
Absolutely well written poem Gee.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Great Aunt Astri

1 Year Ago

Couldn't understand a word of this man talk ...... could you translate it into to woman talk, please.. read more
Gee

1 Year Ago

I've just read this exchange back and it is just a normal man conversation, well, between us two it .. read more
Great Aunt Astri

1 Year Ago

Well, I wanted to join in too!!!!!!!!
A great rendition, Gee. Although somber in tone there feels a 'lightness' to it, The scene plays out in the mind beautifully. I'm not sure the changes suggested for the second stanza are necessary. The meter seems fine as is. Good write.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Cheers Ted, glad you approve
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BBP
Painted a nice picture. The pall bearers point of view was a nice change up to description of a funeral. Good write.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you Bev
Original and compelling lines.

'Twelve shoes,' quite, quite inspirational.

Beccy.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you Becky
Dark and disturbing.
God's own truth to anyone who's ever borne a pall.
Stunning piece of work, Gee!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you, appreciate the review
You capture the solemn mood of the pallbearers and mourners alike to quite palpable effect!

Wouldn't change a thing...this is a poignant, respectfully penned poem...top write my friend!



Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you Tom
Beautiful poem Gee.
Loved these lines:
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
Amazing imagery. Stay inspired.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Gee

1 Year Ago

Thank you..

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2133 Views
53 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on October 8, 2016
Last Updated on September 16, 2017
Tags: Love, death, funeral, mourning

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Simple stuff scribbled badly....under no illusions as to my limitations. English is my first language, though after reading me you'll doubt this can be true . more..

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