Pubs, prostitutes, vicars and more (a funeral not attended)

Total and utter nonsense :))

The sky was dressed appropriately
in shades of charcoal grey
this adding to the sombre mood
on that cold December day
where a gathering of black clad folk
stood silent, one and all
oblivious to the weather Gods
as the rain began to fall.
This dancing of the aged flags
dripping from the slate
of the lichen covered ancient roof
of St Mary's oak Lych gate,
til all the gathered soaked to skin
and cold to marrows core,
then a voice unknown startled all
raised every eye from floor,

...................VICAR.................

"Excuse me but I think you've made
a terrible mistake
the only service here today
is the worshipping of cake,
that Mrs Pye from the WI
does annually bake
this offered to our Lord on high
a slice for him to take"

A murmur spread through black clad folk
then a voice from them was heard,
"We're meant to bury here today
Albert Finnigal the third,
so if not here pray could you tell
the place where he will rest
it'd be a shame to miss his burial
now we're dressed in Sunday best"

.......................VICAR.................

"I'm not an A-Z of death,
burials and the like
I'm not an information board
so the lot of you take a hike,
I need you outta here right now
pronto, go on shoo"
with that he flounced towards the church
and through the doors he flew"

A moment's silence then befell
the black clad, soaked through crew
til a barely audible female voice
said "I know what we will do,
let's go to the pub just down the road
to celebrate his life
I'm sure the family will not mind
as I'm a mate of Alberts wife"

So off they traipsed, wringing wet
to toast and stories tell
'bout Albert Finnigals colourful life and
his death in a wishing well,
where he drowned when throwing pennies in
one night whilst walking home
after an illicit tryst with two prostitutes,
sisters Lily and Courtenay Frome.

Author's Note

For those of you outside of the UK the WI, women's institute, are known for their love of baking, jam making and other things no doubt.
Many folk assume them to be elderly ladies with purple hair who's choice of perfume is eau de Lavender. I would imagine this not the case

Reviews

[Pete]

good tale. certainly off the beaten path. not a bad way to go. thanks for the entertaining read.

[Gee]

A belated thank you Pete. Hope you are well

[Arundass TP]

I love this meaning ful long poem. Interesting read. Keep it up 🙂

[Gee]

Hardly, but thank you for suffering

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful and poignant. Great work.

[Gee]

Thanks Thomas

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Gee (is it, or could it be, James Gee of AP???),

And here resides, yet, another excellent example of our common Humanity's hypocrisy that all too often does reside side by side of all that men do present to the world as to whom they are and to what they believe that does, sadly, stand as evidence to diametrically opposed contrary ... Well penned and more directly to that point that so many Human Beings wish were not the overly true truth of their realities of existence ... Flawed and faulted is our fate of a certain date with death ... And ... None too soon ... Life dost deserve the days of better men, who whist not spend their time reveling in those days of when life was not worth the living, but rather look forward to futures bright and enlivening, filled to brim and glasses stem to hope of that which should and shall be better for all Humanity's Mankind, without sordid details of events that darken and haunt men's minds ... Wonderfully written and expressed ...!

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[Gee]

Thank you Marvin. Appreciate your in depth comments

[Vol]

Gee,
I always told my students that "excellence is always its own reward.' I have no critique because none is necessary.

I love its perfect Irish voice and wish I could hear it sung in a pub with friends and pints.

I'm an American in Texas where it seldom rains, but I watch a lot of British Television and see folks walking around in the rain as though they don't even notice... people in black soaked to skin. It's cold too. I don't know how that works, and no wonder Ford Prefect said to always carry a towel.

You have gifted my day with laughter, Thank you!
Vol

[Gee]

For a "big kid" who left school with no qualifications it is always a buzz to get good feedback from my peers.
Thank you kindly Vol, I appreciate your kind words and the time taken to share them.

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi Gee, a very interesting poem….first part very solemn and dark…..the Vicar bit testy…..but celebrating one’s life is a good idea, except when one discovers his tricks ear the strange ending of his life….
A well thought out take
Warmly
B..

[Gee]

Thanks Betty, it's good to let the child in me out every now and again.
Hope you are well

[Betty Hermelee]

Yes indeed, a good idea, we all need this!
Warmly, B

[M]

This is incredibly unique! The title and opening line immediately drew me in, and it's quite different from what I usually read, but I'm really glad I did. What a story!

[Gee]

Thank you. I have written mainly dark stuff the last four plus years after losing both my mum and a very close friend. It is nice to revert to daft :))

[Stella Armour]

Haha , i wouldn't be a bit surprised if this actually happened at some time in an English village ...
Vicars can be so over bearing at times ..... 🤣

[Gee]

Thanks Stella, glad it raised a smile

[Chris]

You told a good story and the reasoning behind a "Wake".

[Gee]

Thank you Chris.
Happy New year

[Chris]

and a Happy New Year to you as well!!