Pubs, prostitutes, vicars and more (a funeral not attended)

Total and utter nonsense :))

The sky was dressed appropriately
in shades of charcoal grey
this adding to the sombre mood
on that cold December day
where a gathering of black clad folk
stood silent, one and all
oblivious to the weather Gods
as the rain began to fall.
This dancing of the aged flags
dripping from the slate
of the lichen covered ancient roof
of St Mary's oak Lych gate,
til all the gathered soaked to skin
and cold to marrows core,
then a voice unknown startled all
raised every eye from floor,

...................VICAR.................

"Excuse me but I think you've made
a terrible mistake
the only service here today
is the worshipping of cake,
that Mrs Pye from the WI
does annually bake
this offered to our Lord on high
a slice for him to take"

A murmur spread through black clad folk
then a voice from them was heard,
"We're meant to bury here today
Albert Finnigal the third,
so if not here pray could you tell
the place where he will rest
it'd be a shame to miss his burial
now we're dressed in Sunday best"

.......................VICAR.................

"I'm not an A-Z of death,
burials and the like
I'm not an information board
so the lot of you take a hike,
I need you outta here right now
pronto, go on shoo"
with that he flounced towards the church
and through the doors he flew"

A moment's silence then befell
the black clad, soaked through crew
til a barely audible female voice
said "I know what we will do,
let's go to the pub just down the road
to celebrate his life
I'm sure the family will not mind
as I'm a mate of Alberts wife"

So off they traipsed, wringing wet
to toast and stories tell
'bout Albert Finnigals colourful life and
his death in a wishing well,
where he drowned when throwing pennies in
one night whilst walking home
after an illicit tryst with two prostitutes,
sisters Lily and Courtenay Frome.

Author's Note

For those of you outside of the UK the WI, women's institute, are known for their love of baking, jam making and other things no doubt.
Many folk assume them to be elderly ladies with purple hair who's choice of perfume is eau de Lavender. I would imagine this not the case

Reviews

[Chris]

You told a good story and the reasoning behind a "Wake".

[Gee]

Thank you Chris.
Happy New year

[Chris]

and a Happy New Year to you as well!!

[carl]

so before I read let me say what an intriguing title. - having now read, what a great story, loved the serious humor, flow of the narrative and the splendid rhyme. I'm confident Albert more appreciated the celebration he received rather than that which was planned. Well done, I will return to read more. Glad you came by and glad I did also. -carl

[Gee]

Thank you Carl.
I appreciate your visit and time given up to review this long winded piece.

[Ken Simm.]

Finegals wake I love it. This flows truly like every proper monologue should do. Marriot Edgar would be turning in his grave.

[Gee]

Cheers Ken, glad you enjoyed.
Hope you are well and the weather God's North of the border are behaving.
Take care my friend

[Lorry]

Welcome back Gee! And may I just say they I'd much rather have Finnigals wake than not!
I do have one slight problem though.... Its in the title (prostitutes) so maybe I was just expecting more from the ladies of the night, but the last line?
Far be it from me to tell a writer what to write, but I think Lily and Courtenay deserve a part two... Nay a trilogy would be best! 😊
So, you know, when you get a minute, make it so! 😊
Hoping the turning of the calender brings more of these my friend.
Good health, to you and yours.

[Gee]

Prostitutes used only to tempt folk in, then probably thinking what's that daft sod written now:))read moreProstitutes used only to tempt folk in, then probably thinking what's that daft sod written now:))
Hope the festive and new year arriving were good to you and 2024 is an improved on 2023 for you and is all.
Thanks for suffering through this:)

[emmajoygreen]

WONDERFUL! I love this, laughed start to finish, in spite of what should be a sad event! Your wording and meter is/are first class, Gee! . Mind you, think this is Green humour, know my brother and some of his buddies will roar their hard hats off in spite of being in other employment! It's great to again read your wicked sense of humour, sir! Wishing you and your ladies a very happy weekend.. after this, mine will be, for sure.

[Gee]

Thank you EmmaJ, Glad you enjoyed. This came out of nowhere this morning, started off in my head as something a wee bit more serious then went South quickly.
Hope you are nearing fully mended status:)
Have a good weekend

[emmajoygreen]

Really enjoyed it, not only fun but such good meter, metre or wotevah! Must let bro Jack read it some time. Am nearer better than was - thank you so much. Take care, love to your darlings.

[Gee]

Thank you, You look after yourself :)