Treachery

The earth shivered with dread and despair 

For it can do nothing but witness the treachery 

Of the dark loathing and ravening night 

When her body was ruthlessly dragged to the graveyard!

Author's Note

New piece.
Read, review and rate.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[DirectTangent]

Wow.
It speaks to me of an evil befalling an innocence. It feels abrupt, callous, physical, brutal.
"Dark, loathing, ravening night" - vivid imagery.
The brevity of your piece leaves me as the reader in a sudden state of shock, as if I just witnessed an unspeakable horror from which I permanently will be contaminated and from which I will have no hope of recovering.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much! This is the best compliment this poem has been adorned with, till now.
Glad it can have such an effect!

[MelissaAndres]

Spooky! Good one for Halloween coming up!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[MelissaAndres]

You're welcome!

[Sudeep Mishra]

The cosmos witnesses and heeds the perfidy. It has eyes and ears but no mouth to convey, no hands to act against. And we say it is alive. The real credit of its liveliness goes to us, coincidentally the bitter truth is we are the ones also responsible for its annihilation.

Deep!! Nicely done.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for the insightful review, Sudeep.

[Perkele.7885]

The earth or ground was able to feel both dread and despair and shiver
and can see what is transpiring yet has no ability to do anything
the dark night itself loathing what itself is seeing while it is hungry and hunting for prey
while an unknown female's body (alive or dead?) is ruthlessly dragged to some graveyard?
We, your readers, at this stage of development of this poem have so many unanswerable questions to think about. We do not have enough information to even make presentable guesses as to which way
you might be thinking of going with this brain baby. We all want to know!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I know there are hundreds of ways readers can take it and I like that.
But since you asked, Mr Rajaneimi, I wrote this while imagining a terrific event, of which no one knows and will never know as well. Its the gruesome end of a girl who ventured just too far in night and all alone..

[maricoona91]

Hi,
This has really great imagery. I want to know more about the story here! I love the awareness of the earth to the crime that is being committed. So yea, I feel like there is more to be told about this.
Thanks

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

This story is about the crime that is secretly accomplished in the darkness of night with no one to witness other than the nature. I had written this after watching a crime series.
Maybe I will write a short story around this plot someday.
Thank you for your kind review.

[Rajah de AzinPrinz Phyb..]

The poor girl. You've moved me to feel for her. Great piece.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Glad if my words can do that. Thank you!

[Nikunj]

You are a young in blood which should look for joy and fun in life and not the graveyard.many poets many loveyour work but to me it is nt a pleasure mood.sso ,..........

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Just a bad mood and wild imagination..
I get your point. Thank you for the honest review.

[Emily]

Love wording!
Well done!!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[Arunima]

So few words depicting such powerful scenario....commendable...you got me thinking...

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[L. Michelle Corp]

Again, I am pensive... so many scenarios and unanswered questions in so few words. This is a good thing, something I enjoy. Nice job!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind review.

[Eliot Knight]

sorry for the late review friend, I agree with the rest of the comments so I believe there isn't much else to add except that I have ten's of scenarios circling in my mind building a story around your poem. Definitely inspiring to say the least.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!
In case you decide to pen those swirling words down, do lemme know, I will love to read them.