Sin City

Sin City

Oh how my mind would regret

My body no sooner forgets

The chains you have on both

 

Those kisses you plant in a row

Trail down to my thighs

As written sentences on line paper

Organized and precise

 

Teasing, and watching, and teasing again

Yearning for you to make that choice

Craving for you to cross those boundaries

That holds your heart so close

But so far apart

 

Consequences don’t matter

No sooner will our worlds shatter

The moment curious minds make love

Thoughts sprint when inquisitive minds inquire

 

Not to fret about that now

You gently chase those thoughts into oblivion

The way your fingertips trail

The contour line of my back

Lost in a world of fiction

To hell, with all the facts

 

No sense of the pain foreshadowed

Hints of weeping willows

In the near future

People can’t be sutured

Once morals are selfishly taken

And the hearts forever broken

Just for that climatic sensation

 

You and I made good lovers

Feelings are concrete

Depth and not shallow waters

Heat mixed in the sheets

 

Attraction turns to love

In the end no 1 will rise above

It will come back in two’s

This time we all lose

Reviews

[Tessa Le Rouge]

we all know a thing or two about temptation, whether it's as the tempter or temptee, either way, we're familiar. great job describing temptation.
my favorite stanza:

Consequences don't matter
No sooner will our worlds shatter
The moment curious minds make love
Thoughts sprint when inquisitive minds inquire

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Sometimes there is a line between love and lust and to distinguish it can be difficult at first, your poem certainly describes how difficult it can be... great write.

[Bethany Woody]

Falling in love is a very painful thing. In the begining we don't feel the pain because we don't call it love. It's lust or chemistry. But as we get to know someone we begin to see it for what it really is and then the person we love has the ability to hurt in ways no words can say. This is where the pain comes in. I think you have captured that perfectly here. Through the whole piece you talk about how wonderful the feelings are that you are sharing with your lover, then we see little bumps along the way, and in the end you show the pain when you say that noone rises above and we all lose. Yes we lose the ability to walk away without pain when we are truely in love.
This is a wonderfuly complex piece. I really like that you put this in free flow form, kind of like how relationships develop, with a few rhymes mixed in. It really works with the subject matter.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

" Let us not to the marriage of true minds, love is not love that alters when it, alteration finds. Love's not time's fool though rosy cheeks and lips within his bending sickle's compass come. Nor is love a star to every wandering bark; nay, it is an ever fixed mark! If this be error and upon me proved, then I never writ and no man ever loved." William Shakespeare

The Bard seemed to think that we should keep our minds and spirits intact because true love would overcome all adversity in its dedication, even that of age differences and various temptations. This was a good write.

[Kelley]

this was a great ride and left me wanting more!
Loved your words downs loves lusty path.

Thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[Amaunet]

Wow, awesome job. It perfectly describes not just temptation, but how easy it is to get swept away in sensations and feelings

[Succubi]

nice way of describing tempation
it kind of sended chills down my spine
=)
but in a good way lol