The House

I remember well,

When we used to dwell,

Two brothers,

In that house from hell

 

But I was lucky,

For I escaped,

Before the hour,

Of night was late

 

The shuttered doors,

Creaked and groaned,

Unholy moans,

As I lay alone

 

But my poor brother,

In another room,

Slept alone,

So near to doom

 

He knew not,

Of this evil house,

What our heirs,

Would never share

 

Until that night,

When I took fright,

Leaving him alone,

To die or fight

 

Down those stairs,

As they creaked,

I heard my brother,

Start to weep

 

I turned once more,

To face that place,

With rude fear,

Upon my face

 

Then all at once,

I heard the wind,

Knowing that,

I had sinned

 

Before my eyes,

I saw the sight,

And heard the wail,

Of an evil wight

 

Its ghostly shape,

Of an evil wraith,

Grey and misty,

Formed a dark cape

 

In my fear,

I swooned and fell,

In that howling wind,

I could not tell

 

If that weeping sound,

Which I heard before,

Was my brother's moans,

Or the creaking door.

Reviews

[Rebecca Rogers]

The rhyming flowed perfectly. I loved it. Of course, you know how I love some supernatural pieces :D


Before my eyes,
I saw the sight,
And heard the wail,
Of an evil wight

I love these lines. I don't think I've ever heard "wight" before. Very different. I like how you used old English throughout the piece.

Nice work! :)

[Marie Harrison]

Chilling poem! Much enjoyed.

[Shelbeh-Saur-Rawr-Ness]

Amazing, I love it. Defiantly my favorite poem on WC. By far.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Very nice work. A scary yet well written poem. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[CLUTZ]

scary, I liked it but it makes me think of nightmares I used to and still do have sometimes. Very descriptive.

[Amaunet]

Nice mixing of old and new. You've managed to marry the old scots word Ken (for know) with modern words. Awesome job. And your use of Wight and Wraith.... Ahhh simply wonderful!

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Twilight, um, seems more abusive than creepy to me,
maybe because I've been abused, so it triggered those thoughts,
but either channel, it is morbid, ---much love, mishel

[[untitled]]

J, you placed me on a journey of fear and betrayal. This piece read like a well-crafted story. You did good with imagery and cut out all of the unnecessary words without compromising the theme. Nice job.

[Anima Inspired]

I liked the feel of this read...it was very melodic, and you did a good job with keeping up a rather difficult rhyme scheme without making it seem terribly forced. I also like the imagery and word choice that you used, because you were able to illicit a definite feeling of fear and dread. Nicely done.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I really appreciate how your words weave an atmosphere of dark despair. The direction of your poem is in complete opposition to where I thought it was originally go, but that's a good thing. Keep shining!