Breathing In Water

Breathing In Water

A Screenplay by Kevin Dean
"

A former vegas showgirl shows off her obnoxious side after being fired for the fifth time.

"
EXT.STREET- NEVADA.DUSK

CAL (25) masculine with good looks walked through the dry, crowded streets of Reno, glad to be among so many strangers. In the wharfs, he had no such anonymity. There, they knew him to be a smuggler, but here, he could be anyone.

Some people even pushed against him as he walked past as if  saying, "We would never dream of being so rude as to acknowledge the fact that you don't belong here."

INT.BAR.NIGHT

Local Vegas showgirl SERYNE MOONLIGHT (30) dressed in gorgeous sparkling attire that matches her beauty sits at the bar sinking some shots.

seryne

Barkeep! Another Jack and Cola please.

The BARTENDER a man in his thirties walks over to her and takes her glass away.

bartender

Sorry Miss Moonlight. You've hit your mark for tonight.

SERYNE

What! Oh come on I'm not even close to drunk yet. Just one more.

BARTENDER

No and if you keep pestering me I'll have to ask you to leave.

SERYNE

Fine (a beat) You cheap b*****d. Can I at least get a glass of water to wash the sin out of my mouth?

The Bartender deligates a glass of water down to Seryne. She takes a sip then stares into it other worldly like.

Cal enters the bar and takes a seat next to Seryne. The Bartender acknowledges Cal.

BARTENDER

What will have boy?

cal

I'll take a dry martini not olive.

BARTENDER

You betcha.

SERYNE

(Annoyed)

Oh sure sereve this guy a drink, you f*****g ivy gord.

BARTENDER

Cool it Monnlight or your out.

CAL

Moonlight? Ain't you famous Vegas showgirl Seryne Moonlight? My mom saw you at her hens night last year and said you did this thing with a gallon of water.

SERYNE

Breathing in water.

CAL

Excuse me?

SERYNE

Breathing in water that's the name of my main act.

CAL

Oh right. Well my mom said it was phenonmenal.

SERYNE

Tell her I said your welcome and to not bother with a washed up has been like me.

BARTENDER

Seryne now come on.

SERYNE

No you shut the f**k up. You won't even serve me another goddamn drink so mind your own f*****g business pal.

Cal's martini arrives and he takes a sip. Seryne admires it then swigs her water a little more. Cal reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pen and paper.

CAL

If my mom could get an autograph it sure would raise her spirits.

SERYNE

Why? Is she depressed. Join the club I just got fired for the fifth time. Now that's f*****g depressing.

CAL

My father just recently passed and it's been hard on her. A lot more on her than me. So please it would mean so much.

Seryne retreats to the best state of sympathy a drunk can and signs the autograph. Suddenly Cal slips her a fifty.

SERYNE

What the f**k is this for? I ain't no w***e.

CAL

What Jesus no! I want you to teach me.

SERYNE

Teach you what?

CAL

How to do your act. I want to know how to breath in water and expell it the way you do.

SERYNE

Don't be stupid you f*****g retard. I can't teach that s**t to another person. It took me my whole life to perfect it as is. You think it's easy to be able to breath a gallon of water up your nose and expell it through several exits in your body. FYI there is a concious reason why I don't do the anal cavity exit anymore.

The Bartender is disgusted with Seryne's mouth.

BARTENDER

Really Seryne anal cavity. Just keep your voice down.

SERYNE

Why. Ain't like anybody here gives a F**K!

cal

Look I don't care how hard it is. I just want to learn it. Teach me.

SERYNE

Okay fine but don't say I didn't warn you.

BARTENDER

F**k me here we go. Nice work kid.

Seryne leans down to her glass of water and gets real close.

Cal watches like a kid at christmas. Then Seryne turns around, a wide wet grin stretched across her face.

SERYNE

I ain't breathing it in yet honey I'm just having a drink.

Seryne takes a swig. Then without any form of warning Seryne breaths in some water. She sniffles for a moment and looks back up at Cal who looks deeply impressed.

CAL

WOW! That is amazing.

SERYNE

You ready for the encore?

CAL

I guess.

SERYNE

Pat my stomach.

CAL

What? Why?

SERYNE

Do you want to learn or not?

Cal gently pats Seryne on the stomach. She grabs his hand and does it slightly rougher. There is a few seconds delay before she let's out a big burp and water squirts on Cal's face.

The Bartender looks away in complete agony.

SERYNE

I still got it.

BARTENDER

That is totally barbarick.

SERYNE

Your barbarick.

Seryne takes some more water up the nose and turns back to Cal.

SERYNE

Pull my finger.

CAL

Pardon.

SERYNE

Come on twerp I ain't got all day.

Cal pulls Seryne's finger and water sprays out from behind her.

CAL

Did you just?

SERYNE

How else do you think the anal cavity exit works.

BARTENDER

That is the most atroshoius thing I've ever saw.

SERYNE

Really? How the f**k do you even work in a bar.

CAL

That is pretty gross.

SERYNE

Your the one who asked to be taught.

CAL

Yeah the good tricks. Your just being obnoxious and rude. There is no way my mother would have complimented an act like that.

SERYNE

Well f**k you buddy! F**k you and your mother.

BARTENDER

Okay that's it get out of my bar.

SERYNE

Oh your kicking me out.

BARTENDER

I am.

SERYNE

Well f**k you too m**********r. You know what. I am Seryne Moonlight the water breather and I'm better than all of you dickheads so you can all just f**k me. You get that! F**k me!

Seryne picks up a jug of water from a nearby table and breathes the whole of it in. She turns and flips off Cal and the Bartender before heading to the door.

BARTENDER

Drunken woman. They're never worth it.

SERYNE

F**k everybody.

Seryne collapses at the door. Cal and the Bartender run over to see if she is alright. Cal checks her pulse.

CAL

She's dead.

BARTENDER

Dead as in DEAD like Dead dead.

CAL

Yeah.

BARTENDER

Oh f**k. Oh s**t. How can this happen? How?

Cal picks up the empty water jug. He smells it and backs off.

CAL

That wasn't water in this jug. It was straight vodka. 

© 2014 Kevin Dean



Author's Note

Kevin Dean
A little something different to kick off a whole new year of writing. Happy new year to all my awesome readers out there.

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Added on January 1, 2014
Last Updated on February 2, 2014
Tags: dark, comedic, witty, humorous

Author

Kevin Dean
Kevin Dean

Sydney, New South Wales, Australia



About
At only 24 years old Kevin has already got four Self-Published Novels in the world wide market. Writing since the age of six has kept him busy for more than twenty years. His signature style is a comb.. more..

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