Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5
Midnight Boom

Midnight Boom

A Story by Toney Vega
"

Flash fiction maybe?

"
He listened to the street lights sing in a hum hung under neon skies sheltered by sky scrapers.  The smell of piss and dreams filled his lungs, laid bare in open air free for all to whiff - the passerbys passed.  Paying him no attention he put his hand on a tattered flier. "Nude La-" it read in circus text.  "Luna." He flipped the words around.  "Dune?"  "La Dune."  He imagined the sand-ravaged bar like something from planet Tatooine.  A swarthy site seated on the sketchy side of a sinkhole southwest of the Sarlacc Pit.  A chuckle escaped his lips at the thought.

Rain.  Tears from heaven?  Maybe instead the dripping sweat from a more creative process.  After all even the Gods make love; why else is the sustainer of life a liquid?  He tilted his head back and smiled.  Refreshing was the sensation against his skin.  So refreshing in fact he missed the scream of a woman across the street.  The water was the perfect temperature for a warm summer night.  Nice and cool, but not frigid.  He looked down, "That's curious," he thought "I didn't know water was red..."

Collapse.  Black out.
Headline: "Crime lord killed on Broad St. -details page 6"
Shuffled page.  Funnies Section; You're a Good Man Charlie Brown.

  What did that woman say?

© 2010 Toney Vega


Author's Note

Toney Vega
I really like comments!

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Ha! Wow, dark and very exciting. When I read the part about the flyer, wow, stunned. It just made me think 1800's s**t. I love the end, that was hilarious. Great work of art, seriously. I would hope you would consider lengthing it a bit and give us a little more detail. You have such an interesting story its hard not to wonder what could or would have happened.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Ha! Wow, dark and very exciting. When I read the part about the flyer, wow, stunned. It just made me think 1800's s**t. I love the end, that was hilarious. Great work of art, seriously. I would hope you would consider lengthing it a bit and give us a little more detail. You have such an interesting story its hard not to wonder what could or would have happened.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Thanks for the reviews guys! Josh if you could let me know the grammar and spelling that needs to be ironed out I'd be happy to tweak them! I'll see what I can do about a sequel haha

Posted 8 Years Ago


I like the vagueness on what's actually happening, but detailed on everything else. It must be quite difficult to master.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

He looked down, "That's curious," he thought "I didn't know water was red..."
Thatwas my fav part... the ending is always my fav part... great story I loved it!
You should subbmitt it in my contest. Love and death. I already have 27 poems! Omg so excited!

Posted 8 Years Ago


it had exquisite details, and i like that. but you have a few grammar issues and spelling issues, but a good edit could clear that up. but i would like to know more from the story. sounds good!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like your writing style. This story was very interesting indeed.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

380 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 2, 2010
Last Updated on July 2, 2010

Author

Toney Vega
Toney Vega

Richmond, VA



About
I'm an 18 year old artist who specializes in music and writing. All of my writing centers around my life at the current moment as both a form of escapism and a way to face things that are bothering o.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


By Her Self By Her Self

A Poem by Brandon


Boyhood Boyhood

A Poem by Tate Morgan