A great rhyme scheme, quirky and original! Also, this does reflect the writer's personality (to a degree). A few of the more bizarre lines, probably reflect the writer's sense of humour (for example).
Now, the casual reader might think that all of the sudden changes, from one line of thinking to another, reflect poor writing? No! A mentally-ill person, would have thoughts, somewhat like these. Indeed, the protagonist is portrayed as a paranoid schizophrenic, I suspect? Sadly, such confusing thoughts do seem very real, and often scary, for the patient. Basically, the person has a distorted view of reality, and has replaced what we regard as "reality", with his/her own version.
"A big black world in a little white room..." These words could be interpreted in diffferent ways, actually. However, it is likely that the writer is drawing a comparison between the great evil of the world outside, and the simplicity and/or purity of her far smaller "white room".
No surprise that this bizarre poem entwined itself around my heart... morbid and hauntingly dark, insert the needle here if you will, love the creative humor :)
Paperclips do wonders under my bed.
“Keep the naked ice-cream people from my head,”
Don't you even try to weep,Fred's gonna put you to sleep,fucken awesome! i love that dark morbid s**t. Kick a*s writing! Look forawrd to reading more of your work.
(Don't mind me, I just love reviewing and reading your work)
It took me a couple read overs to finally get what the title says, and just reading it was enough to make me highly interested in this poem. My god girl, you can captivate an audience with just a line of a title! How talented is that?
I loved the rhyming you did, it made it fun and easy to read without having to read deep thoughts that only you would fully get (because, of course, you wrote it! :P) The small stanzas were a really good compliment to the wonderful lines of your imagination.
powerful interesting and somethig i could read, will have to come nack for the stories.
Paperclips do wonders under my bed
Keep the naked ice-cream people from my head
I said
With pins and stitching needles armed with thread
You'll never guess what I just sewn onto my Fred
'Nuff said
Favourite verse
"Basically, the person has a distorted view of reality, and has replaced what we regard as "reality", with his/her own version."
beg to differ, everyone has their own distorted view of what reality is ..
A great rhyme scheme, quirky and original! Also, this does reflect the writer's personality (to a degree). A few of the more bizarre lines, probably reflect the writer's sense of humour (for example).
Now, the casual reader might think that all of the sudden changes, from one line of thinking to another, reflect poor writing? No! A mentally-ill person, would have thoughts, somewhat like these. Indeed, the protagonist is portrayed as a paranoid schizophrenic, I suspect? Sadly, such confusing thoughts do seem very real, and often scary, for the patient. Basically, the person has a distorted view of reality, and has replaced what we regard as "reality", with his/her own version.
"A big black world in a little white room..." These words could be interpreted in diffferent ways, actually. However, it is likely that the writer is drawing a comparison between the great evil of the world outside, and the simplicity and/or purity of her far smaller "white room".
"I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
.. more..
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