Now She Can Cry

Thanksgiving come and gone
no one else seemed to notice the empty chair
she was tempted to put a place setting there
but she didn't

And when she felt the tears welling
within her weary blue eyes
she bit her tongue

Gifts bought, wrapped placed beneath
the tree
those Christmas lights seemed to mock her
those that burned brightly but suddenly faded
just like...

She wanted to smash that tree
stomp those gifts. rip those twinkling lights
from those branches
scream at the top of her lungs
but she didn't

And when she felt those tears welt
she squeezed her eyes so tightly closed
everything stayed black for a moment when she opened them -
bit her tongue till she tasted blood -
silent

Fireworks, champagne, a toast to the old
a toast to the new
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
smiling faces, kisses all around

She wanted to, could have dampened those fireworks
salted the champagne with her pent up tears
tore those kisses from lips with her nails
but she didn't

New Years Day -
Christmas turkey gone
only a carcass
one lone piece of soggy pumpkin pie
tree down
people resting

She sits in the bedroom that smells so familiar
still after all this time
from the velvet box,
takes out the lock of hair

Touches gently
smells, feels, holds to her heart
memories wash over her weary body

She lays her head on the pillow
where she last lay
tears flow like rapids
unsung screams burn her throat
tears soak the pillow

Now ...she can cry

Author's Note

First holidays without loved ones .....
I wish you all a Happy New Year , will be around in awhile to read ...
Peace

Reviews

[Magdelena]

OH this was so sad. I so remember a time when I too felt like this. many a time went by while I sat by myself within a crowd and felt so alone. tears fell when the darkness came, and this described exactly what it felt like.. Your imagery was perfection, your words became mine.. Bravo!

Mags xx

[Hanlan Paquin]

This piece is beautiful, it really spoke to me. I could tel that there was a struggle in the backstory of this poem. My one suggestion: the smashing the tree stanza didn't seem to flow as well as the other stanzas all did. But this was an absolutely amazing poem, and now I' very curious about the backstory.

[Desiree O'Neal]

Awe this is so sad but it was so good

[Dionysian Gnostic]

I'm grieving now, the holidays do hit a little harder and make things seem a little darker when you've lost people close to you. You've expressed yourself quite openly here and I do appreciate it.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

The worst times in life-first losing-then after losing....No words can make it better. You have expressed this grief so poignantly- Lovely, sad vignettes of despair. I wish you healing and comfort.

[Mel Jayne]

Interesting poem. It's really interesting how you incorporated graphic violence into a holiday setting, it creates a jarring contrast between words like kissing and ripped and carcass and rest. I like the change that runs throughout and it is interesting how you incorporated haunting images like the empty chair. I think with a few changes so that the words flow better between lines (you could just try and read aloud to see if the words fit with a rhythm) you would have a very good polished poem. You are clearly very talented.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Holidays...any days...seem not worth living without those we love...those we love can empower us or make us question our worth. Often, they make us question our decision-making skills. But we only know that our life is incomplete without them.

[Jack Necron (Aubrey Jac..]

The emotion is visceral, grabs the reader immediately and conveys the silent struggles we face beautifully. You can only hold the pain in so long before it comes crashing out. Thank you for sharing this touching write.

[Stanley R. Teater]

During my younger years I moved around quite a lot: Texas to Florida to California, back to Texas, to Iowa, to Pennsylvania and at last back to Texas. As a result I have spent many holidays alone. I feel your pain. You express it very well.

[genocide]

this is off the hook very well written

[Timothy Ryan]

This is a poem I that has a lot of what people are missing in their writing. It's personal, has a message and most of all, it has the little details that really bring it to life. A lot of people would have left this a lot more general. I loved that you gave images like "those Christmas lights seemed to mock her". It sets the scene and gets you inside the mind of the narrator. Good work.