Women Rule.

I mean, you can’t get blood out of a stone.

Wish she would shut up.

You’re trying to kill two birds with one stone.

Just one bird with a gun would do.

Two rights don’t make a wrong.

Does she ever stop.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink

Could I drown her. Maybe claim insanity

You only die once

Not you, you would definitely come back.

A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush

What the hell did I see in her.

There’s no point in crossing the bridge till we get there.

We’re in bed, you moron

Time doesn’t stop just because you’re resting

Swear to god I’ll shoot her dead.

Nothing is black and white in this life

Do black women go on like this

You’ve got to let sleeping dogs lie

I could wrap her up in the carpet, sneak her out the house, dump her somewhere.

Not every cloud has a silver lining.

Tell me about it

Just you remember, behind every successful man is a woman.

I can’t take any more of this.

See, the proof is in the pudding.

Love to put you in a pudding.

You can’t get blood out a stone.

You’ve used that one, I win. So lie back, the stallion is ready.

Like I said. You can lead a horse to bed. But you’ll do instead.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I daresay you have a dark mean inner core!?!?! You express venomous carping better than anyone I know! In spots, I can relate tho, becuz I have five bossy older sisters (watching their various unions/divorces/unions/divorces is part of why I never got married -- I didn't want to be such a controlling shrew!) Yes, women can be bitchy, & I do recognize this vignette . . . *sigh!*

[Paul Bell]

You must have had a great time growing up.
I have three sisters. You're right. They do your box in.

[The Iron Horseman]

You always manage to turn your pain into black humour, my friend. I laughed my socks off at this! Women who deal in cliches, banality and inanities can indeed drive you crazy. Thank you for the smile.

[Paul Bell]

She gave in in the end. lol

[Gozer]

The use of cliche's in the form of nagging is very effective . I am reminded of my mother and her incessant euphemisms..still, we live what we learn. I see you get tempted to commit murder, if only in your mind and , of course, jokingly..I admire that in a human.

[Paul Bell]

Wonder if the planet would come to an end, if we all carried out our thoughts.

[Gozer]

More quickly than at present speed, perhaps.

[Paul Bell]

You maybe right. Would women kill more men, or vice versa.

[Gozer]

Though we are deadlier than the male, we tend to be more cerebral and resourceful and infinitely more patient. Still, depends on the circumstances.

[Paul Bell]

Women are definitely resourceful. Probably why pubs were invented for men.

[Gozer]

Pre-planned bitching rights.

[Lauren Galina]

This was so touching and just beautiful and strong!

[Paul Bell]

I think it is too, in a weird sort of way.

[Tony Jordan]

It's ironic that such relationships - Mr and Mrs Bickers, from Bicker-staff, Bickering-ton...can actually endure (endure being the operative word).
I think I grew up with this mum and dad - hey DAD! it's you...
;p
Brilliant piece Paul

[Paul Bell]

Think we're related then. lol

[AmateurWriter01]

I have to say this made me laugh quit a few times reading it. I was smiling all the way through. I really enjoyed reading this, it was clever and awesome.

[Paul Bell]

You need a laugh with all the gloom and doom about these days.

[DIVYA]

I know it must be difficult when they don't shut up. I like the gun solution, the best. Then use the carpet. Then cook a pudding and eat it. Win win for everyone.

Enjoyed so much :)

[Paul Bell]

I think you're right.
But being head of police.
I really should set an example. lol

[DIVYA]

Actually, you have no option Paul. I have the tapes lol.

[Gee]

You could do a talking heads series with some of these.
Clever and funny, what more apart from being paid

[Paul Bell]

I know, you could just add and add. lol

[Relic]

haha, I laughed out loud at We’re in bed, you moron.
Good one. :)