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A Poem by Psychotic Lily
"

Someone pull me before I jump...

"

There are things I want to hide from

Before it were the ghoulish monsters as a child

Then it were the kids who bullied me during grade school

During that time I tried to hide from the isolation it brought

And I slowly healed myself during high school

But now… I just want to hide from everything..


Everything is scary

People terrify me

Loneliness kills me

Is this what they call depression?

These thoughts are the wounds that heal and open on a regular basis

The pain that blossomed in my heart ruling over my sanity.

 

This pain I’ve always carried.

It didn’t have a cause I know of

Maybe there is no definite cause but different kinds of factors

But when it comes and attacks like a thief at night

I just wanted to find a place of my own where no one could find me

But I don’t have a place like that

Only in the dark recesses of my mind

 

I’m always trying to pull myself out of that dark corner

From the darkness that covers my heart and mind

But I’m tired…

I don’t think I can pull myself out like always.

And every time I go out and see the world

The more I wanted to crawl back to it.

 

I can’t find anyone I can share this with

No one would listen

And if they would… I would just get reprimanded

Not everyone is fluent n the language of silence

Sometimes… all I ever wanted was someone

Someone who would take me away from there

And I wouldn’t be scared to tell him or her anything.

 

And when I’m with that person…

I would never feel the need to hide.


Someone pull me before I jump...



© 2017 Psychotic Lily



Author's Note

Psychotic Lily
This is why I don't let my parents read my work. Send me read requests so I could thank you for reviewing my work. I'm in an emotional state nowadays... writing's the only thing that could save me (I AM NOT SUICIDAL don't worry XD)

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Reviews

it's so deep. I can understand your feelings, dear..and if you are in search of any friend with whom you wanna share anything, 'me there, dear... afterall we are friends....apart from this, your poem is really amazing..keep on writing.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Thank you for seeing me as a friend Pri. If I feel down I'll bother you with my complaints XD
Priyanshi

4 Months Ago

My pleasure...anytime.
This is very deep indeed. I have been there, more than once, and up to now, I am still here. Sure pain and bitterness can eat away from your heart and soul, but if you look deep, and long, there will always be a way out from there. And I myself, was thrown a lifeline more than once, and believe me parents will never want to face things such as these, but in the end, they truly want to help just do not know how to do so. But you are not alone, there are many out there just as you, dealing with much, and not knowing who or where to turn to. Stay strong and never give up.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Thank you Maria. I know my parents might want to reach out to me if they knew the truth. But it stil.. read more
Honey, if you're a natural born female, being emotional is your strength - not a weakness and certainly no reason to hide. KEEP WRITING.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Thank you and I will :) Carol please send me read request I would appreciate to read your writings a.. read more
I can relate to this and your note.
You will surely find a friend who understands you fully:)
An emotional work!

Posted 4 Months Ago


Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Thank you Neetha!
well, girl....this is a sad poem..a very sad one..and i could overall relate to this very well!....am there for you so anytime just msg me and i 'll help you out...other than that, writing out our feelings make us relaxed and yes, calm as well!.....stay blessed and be happy..any help do tell me!...am there to listen

Posted 4 Months Ago


This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Thank you Wajiha
i was worried.just keep on writing okay...that's an excellent way to cope with the pain you're feeling right now.
God will not leave you.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Salamat J.C. 😁
L.C. Jarrette

4 Months Ago

walang anuman
:)
felt this one in my bones, you done good girl

Posted 4 Months Ago


Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Thank you Nightblood XD
I understand this poem. I actually am fluent in the language of silence. :) This poem is amazing and rings with so much truth of those who have felt abused and alone.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Thank you Raven!
If anyone is feeling suicidal, they might be scared or confused by these feelings. But they are not alone, as many people think about suicide at some point in their lifetime. Your poignant composition highlights unselfishly the anguish, frustration and feelings of loneliness. Some people can say why they feel suicidal, but in other instances there may not be a clear reason, or they may be unable to talk about what they are feeling or experiencing. Sharing is best …. just like you have here! Making a support plan is a way of working out what might be helpful and recording those ideas in one place, which some people find useful. Thank you for this heartfelt write. PS - I noticed this on your profile page “Mane Thacel Phares” – from Daniel 5: 18-19; interesting profile highlight!

Posted 4 Months Ago


Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Thank you Phill for taking the time to read my work.
"Mane Thacel Phares" is my favorite line.. read more
a powerful message from within.
well written

Posted 4 Months Ago


Psychotic Lily

4 Months Ago

Thank you very much

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Added on May 31, 2017
Last Updated on May 31, 2017
Tags: Suicide, poetry, prose

Author

Psychotic Lily
Psychotic Lily

Philippines



About
Greetings! I am one weird girl with peculiar taste. I enjoy writing and reading especially if it involves fantasy and magic. Currently I write poetry, prose, and articles (I used to be part of the sc.. more..

Writing
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