Ecstasy

Ecstasy

A Poem by Raghib

And under the starry night,
The two lovers bloomed with pride .
The male aura watching,
Ecstasy deflowering his light

© 2017 Raghib



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It is short and sweet. Nice poem!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Only a man would write about being "deflowered" as being ecstasy, I think.

That aside, I'd drop the first word in both L1 and L2.

You can only use "and" to include where there is choice or to continue, and you're not continuing or including. And in the case of L2, why limit it to "the two lovers," when we've not been introduced to a particular set?


Posted 2 Months Ago


I like reading short poems that paint beautiful pictures. This is one. well done

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

it sounded like you made love !

Posted 2 Months Ago


Raghib

2 Months Ago

Honoured that you could feel it in my words
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
chhimijiks

2 Months Ago

nice poem.could have written more to give complete picture.anyway nice poem.
I like the scene you have created with your words. This is different from your other writings. Beautifully written.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Raghib

2 Months Ago

Thank you for the review . Yes i have tried writing something else than what i usually write . Glad .. read more
Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

I really liked it, wonderful creations comes up one when writes different than their usual, I am sur.. read more
Nice imagery, I can see is grow form a seed into full bloom flowering into the ecstasy of your poem. You should check the spelling of your title it should be Ecstasy. I really enjoyed reading it Bravo! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Raghib

2 Months Ago

Thank you for your review Bear . Have been waiting for you to review my latest poems . Please do vis.. read more
Bear

2 Months Ago

I haven't been taking read request for a few weeks as I had family in the hospital in dire straight .. read more
Raghib

2 Months Ago

sad to hear that . i pray your problems get sorted soon .
I love this poem!! Magical and oh, so, beautiful!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Raghib

2 Months Ago

Thank you for the review . Glad you liked it Giullia

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7 Reviews
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Added on November 26, 2017
Last Updated on November 26, 2017

Author

Raghib
Raghib

India



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