Unable to Unsee

Post-trauma at its finest. Hope you enjoy it <3

Do you have a memory?

Perhaps one so perturbing  

That it disrupts your waking moments, 

 Not to mention when you're sleeping? 

And are there fissures in your facade where its essence continues leaching?

Does that memory have a setting?

And does your mind lurk there still?

 Do you live within its twisted land

and reside against your will?

A shrouded town sodded in blood, apocalyptic yet distilled. 

 

Do the thoughts molest you sometimes?

Attack from the dark uninvited, 

Where you thought stood defenses 

But the beast was still sighted? 

Does it lick its bared teeth, hungry for your sanity- reunited? 

  Does your scalp bleed 

When you try to tear 

 into your skull 

  and remove the demon there?

Images of events that we cannot unsee- is that something that we share?

Author's Note

I read all reviews carefully, so really give me whatcha got. I need to improve, please tell me what you liked/disliked. Thank you for reading (:

Reviews

[Derek ubuntu Dunham]

I liked this a lot. I survived a terrible fire a couple years ago that my family and I lost almost everything in, including all but one of our pets. that haunts me daily and the images, the sounds, the smell..

I liked the poem a lot though, good job!

[Gianna Dale]

I'm so incredibly sorry for the loss of your home, your pets, and everything else. I'm glad that you have this to relate to, though I wish you weren't able to. God Bless. I pray for the emotional recovery of you and your family. It's a terrible thing to have to cope with.

[David Wesley]

"And are there fissures in your facade where its essence continues leaching?" -- Freaking beautiful.

I do not have this kind of personal experience but I must say this was very well written. I enjoyed your rhyme and rhythm and your words were choice. Keep it up =)

[Matthew Kult]

Hello Gianna,

Darkly taunting like a hallucination of a murder that you can see so vividly and plan to the very detail yet its simply a daydream. Yes I liked it. It's well done. You should have more faith in your abilities it isn't the reviews that will help you learn it's the continuation of your writing, finding your style deep within. Someone will always like your work and someone will always hate it. It's up to you to decide if its good.

Always,

Matthew
A.

[Gianna Dale]

Thank you, I love how you interpreted the poem. That's very close to where my mind was. I am insecure about my writing, so thank you for the reassurance as well. You're right of course, everything has its haters and I need to accept that. Still I do love the suggestions. Thank you! (:

[Mason Rayburn]

Poetry is difficult for me to critique because each writer has a style all their own and no one style has any more right than the next. That said...
After looking at it again, I did see that you used a rhyming scheme, though some of your word combos did not exactly rhyme quite right (perturbing/sleeping).
Other than that, it appears fine for the kind of formatting you used. Seems to me like you got your point across in this poem, which is all I really care about in my own poetry.

[Gianna Dale]

Well thank you. You're right, some of my rhyming is done very loosely. I'm trying to figure out if that's just my style or if it's something I need to work on. I find the flow of poetry lulling and fascinating, and I'm not sure if I like pieces that rhyme perfectly. I just need to figure out myself as a writer, and that's definitely a big aspect of it. Thank you (: I will consider this more deeply.

[Mason Rayburn]

Indeed. Like any craft, writer's have to perfect their skill. We grow and mature with time and experience, so I have no doubt that you will improve. Just keep up the good fight. :3

[TL Boehm]

the short answer is yes. I have a poem called Torreon here somewhere in the mess of posts over the years that I've written about two young boys - I will not state what happened - but that was where my mind went first when reading this resonant work of yours. We all carry things we can't unsee. A solid poem. Well done.

[Gianna Dale]

I'm glad you could relate. I hope that you and everyone that we can get passed these things. Thank you(:

[zainul]

I have seen at least two persons with PTSD.
I need to read your poem again and again to relate with those cases.
You may also help your readers to understand the case properly.
Too many questions actually make me confused.
I love your theme but will make a final comment later after more understanding.

[Gianna Dale]

Alright, thank you.

[zainul]

:)

[KAin]

Incredible. Truly incredible.
I think everyone else has covered what I wanted to say.
"A shrouded town sodded in blood, apocalyptic yet distilled."
I think that line stands out most for me in this beautiful, haunting poem.
You hit on something that everyone can relate to. I think everyone has something they wished never happened.
It reminds me of a quote which always stayed with me, though the book and the author have both faded from my memory -
"Outside the sun shines. Inside, there's only darkness."
A very graphic and powerful poem.

[Gianna Dale]

Many thanks. That's a really good quote to relate to many works, and I agree it applies here too though I don't remember who wrote it. Anyways, thank you for the great feed back that feeds my soul.

[Maria Linden]

Love love love. Like your rhyme scheme work on measure!!

[Gianna Dale]

Thank you love! Yes, that's something I need to watch for. I need to pay a little more attention.

[Maria Linden]

Yeah, well. It was amazing in any case:)

[Gianna Dale]

Thanks babe(:

[unsavable_soul]

Oh My God,
The PTSD is an excellent placement, yet the piece speaks volumes unto human suffering as a whole. the questions, very open ended and thus creating a personal attachment to this piece for any reader are an amazing addition. I personally adore your graphic depictions as well. To some degree I too share this problem, though all are bestowed by different curses. I give this piece among the highest of ratings I have ever given, if not the highest. Just thought you should know.
Soul

[Gianna Dale]

I can't express how great you just made me feel. Oh my God. Thank you so, so much. I'll keep what you liked in mind and use those things in future pieces. THANK YOU

[unsavable_soul]

Keep in mind what you liked about this, it is what makes you unique and an artist. People may not always like your work, however they are not the artist. Keep it up I look forward to more.

[Gianna Dale]

Absolutely (: Thank you.

[unsavable_soul]

My pleasure.

[Sami Khalil]

This made me feel like your are a doctor as much as a poetess... Well penned...:)

[Gianna Dale]

Thank you. (: I'm studying to be a physiologist, so excellent inference. Thank you for reading and reviewing

[Sami Khalil]

Good to know...You are welcome and good luck...:)