The Shadow of My Angel

agony of the broken heart...

From the very first moment I casted a glance on you,

I felt that cherubims lifted me to a rendezvous,

In a marvelous paradise of grandest ecstasy,

In a wonderland of power and perfect liberty.

 

Your mere presence tempts my eyes to steal a glimpse of fresh charm.

Who can withstand that graciousness so inviting and warm?

My stupid heart is floating in surreptitious passion,

Wallowing and drowning in complete hallucination.

 

As I watched your countenance, the gate of heaven opened,

The world below gently enjoyed the softness of the wind,

And, when you smiled, it seemed I almost really lost my mind,

You enthralled me with seraphic spell of “a different kind”.

 

You brought my spirit to the moon above the sleepy earth,

Where things spoke of pulchritude, tranquility and mirth.

Your simple presence could create a thunder in my heart,

A clamor of emotion that was withheld from the start.

 

Oh! I believe that sometimes some glorious things never last,

And this fantasy of mine can be devoured by he past.

Since you’re just an illusion, an impossible desire,

The borrowed felicity certainly will soon expire.

 

Although I want to caress your genial and lovely face,

I can’t because destiny obscures this sweet dream with haze.

I wish to kiss your subtle lips with so much tenderness,

But then again this sad chance forbids my whims and madness.

 

Reality stultifies and disorients my fate.

The truth that tells you can’t be mine blossoms tremendous hate.

I’m like a melting candle with poor and flickering light.

A mild breeze can plunder my dying brightness in the night.

 

However, how can I fight this mischievous agony?

How to convince my stupid heart to free this misery?

I must reckon that you resemble an elusive star,

It’s surely hard that I can only watch you from afar.

 

You inflict chaos in my mind if this is genuine love.

I am bewildered, so perplexed like a wandering dove.

Your comely visage savaged my valued sagacity,

My loquacious tongue got taciturn, what a mystery!

 

I become obsequious to pernicious obsession,

It is a prodigious qualm shunning my entire vision.

This enigmatic feeling draws pusillanimity,

Beguiling and ridiculing man’s perspicacity.

 

I bravely tried to relinquish my spirit’s longing,

Yet remnants of my faculty could not free this feeling.

In recluse soliloquy, I often mention your name,

Embattling with penchant of you that’s hauling me insane.

 

Although I know that I can only touch you through the wind,

And whispers of my affection to you I cannot send,

Yet still I wish to be engulfed by your complex magic,

And dance in deranged happiness with the gloomy music.

 

The painful truth blatantly shrills that you cannot be mine.

It beckons fear that my feeling’s ordeal needs to confine.

Then who is really culpable for these consequences?

Is it my pity crazy heart, which commences the mess?

 

I am aware that thought of you drench sadness to my soul.

A curse of pain must be endured because I am a fool.

But why still in my furtive dreams my silly, lucid tears

Are softly kissing your shadow, cascading through the years?

Reviews

[Saosinkid (Death whispe..]

i am speechless
but what i can get out is that this poem was like looking through a mirror to me
it was like my feelings were saying this poem to me
i felt shattered and warm at the same time
if that makes sense
this is truly an unmarkable poem
kudos for this
and i really appreciate sharing this poem in my contest

[Catastrophe]

such a beautiful poem, the words and the emotions in this write
are truly amazing, and even though its such a sad poem, i see some beauty in it

Oh! I believe that sometimes some glorious things never last,
And this fantasy of mine can be devoured by he past.
Since you're just an illusion, an impossible desire,
The borrowed felicity certainly will soon expire

that is my favourite stanza, i guess because when i was reading it i could somehow see the
reflection of the one i long to be with. That's the good thing about poetry, reading something that you can relate to somehow makes the reader feel as if you are talking to them, well i feel that way....
or sometimes its more like the words that the broken heart cant say...so many of us have bleeding hearts
....but we cant write what we feel, so reading something like this is really beautiful, honestly; great work

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

The passion you feel can't be denied. It is strong enough to stay even if it is only fantasy. A deep and moving write.
Debby

[Emily Rose]

So sweet and yet so sad! You really captured the confusion and disillusionment of love in this poem, especially in the beginning. It's interesting how you referred to your heart a "stupid" - it casts doubt on yourself, and that doubt spreads and multiplies throughout the poem. I admire you for sticking to such a rigid rhyme scheme too, that's hard to do, especially with such a passionate subject.

My only critique is that, for a wild and free as it is, sometimes the complex language seems to weigh it down a little. There are times where the words are used in quite the right manner and sometimes I get the feeling that you're just putting in big, ten-dollar words to show off and not because they're the best words that should go in the poem. Simplicity can be your friend here - there's no need to make it more complex than it has to be.

Well done, though - it's a good testement to what love is and how it acts (and why it's so dangerous to us).

[Brianna Brie]

Wow...you have mastered love poetry with this one. It is worthy of a win! The metaphors that you used are creative and explicable in creating a mental picture in the readers mind. Hooked on your poetry.

[Helena]

Awesome poetry! Very well crafted, sentiments sublime. So many well flowing stanza I could not pick a favorite and I could not fault this poem in anyway. Enjoyed the read so much. You have amazing talent my friend. Well done!

[TL Boehm]

your command of the language is stellar, and the poem incredibly well crafted. Many of us - if we tried to write the caliber of poetry here, technically, would never get the message across, but you have done it with clarity - bravo.

[SM Davis]

The painful truth blatantly shrills that you cannot be mine.
It beckons fear that my feeling's ordeal needs to confine.
Then who is really culpable for these consequences?
Is it my pity crazy heart, which commences the mess?


This was a very nice poem. Thank you for sharing.