Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

Ivan runs up franticly up the stairway, holding the large book. Without hesitation he slams open the throne room doors surprising several of his bodyguards on duty, one of them notices his panic approaching him. “Sire are you alright?” he questions noticing the dust on Ivan obviously stricken. “No…far from it, I need to see Matius! It’s urgent”, Ivan replies shifting his eyes to one of his bodyguards. “You! I need you to get Matius for me. Tell him I seek an audience with him”, Ivan demands. “But what should I tell him?” the bodyguards replies protestant. “Tell him this is about him, Dervish, Kravos and Sousan!”
  The bodyguard looks at Ivan nodding before heading out of the throne room as the others look in confusion. “Where did you get that book?” one of the bodyguard’s questions looks curiously. “I found it where all the past rulers possessions are kept, “Ivan notes looking at the faded cover,  “This here book is Sousan’s life in words”. Ivan looks back to his bodyguards, “please could you leave me in private I need time alone to think”. Many of them look bemused before leaving Ivan to his own devices. Ivan closes his eyes before heading towards the throne with the book in hand.

 

In Matius’s home he is currently eating some food, reading the latest boring news to come in the papers. Nothing is interesting anymore, Matius thinks to himself eating into some food. He looks towards a photo of himself, Osaris and his mother when Matius was younger. As he’s looking at it he hears the door ring much to his annoyance. Steadily he lifts himself from the chair walking uneasily towards it. Finally Matius opens the door revealing Ivan’s bodyguard. “What is it that Ivan wants?” Matius questions. “Matius, you are needed at the throne room. Ivan wishes an audience with you”, the bodyguard replies firmly. “Can’t you see that I’m busy? Come back later when I’m free”, Matius snaps in frustration. “Matius I don’t think you understand…this isn’t a request, it’s urgent. He needs to talk to you, it’s about Dervish, Kravos, Sousan and you”. Matius’s eyes widen in shock his back turned to the bodyguard.
  Matius didn’t have much choice but to listen to the bodyguard’s words, Ivan was his friend after all and he needed help. Listening to his words Ivan seemed stressed, like he found something. They both head into the royal palace going down the corridor. “I’ve never seen Ivan so on edge, he must think someone is after him”, the bodyguard explains, “He’s not acting normal”. Matius frowns, “What’s he been doing these past hours?” The bodyguard looks back at Matius, “he’s been getting books out of the library, putting them in the throne room… Well you’ll see…”
  The bodyguard opens the throne room doors as Matiu walks into the throne, up ahead seeing Ivan. Ivan turns around noticing Matius giving a weak smile.  “                                      “, You may leave us”. The bodyguard gives a bow before leaving, the doors shutting behind him.

“Ahh Matius it’s good that you came, there is something I have found that I need to talk to you about”, Ivan hugging him before moving back.. “What is it Ivan”, Matius replies in frustration, “I was busy you know”. Ivan’s face suddenly changes remembering the book. “I have found some shocking information concerning Dervish and I have reason to believe that he may yet be alive” Matius pauses in shock before closing his eyes amused, “Ivan…Dervish has been dead for along time, he’s not coming back”. Ivan looks back in anger, “He’s not who we think he is! He is not my brother!” Matius looks in confusion changing his expression, “Well okay then…just who is he?”. Ivan pauses looking down at the ground, “He is the son of Kravos, Sousan’s brother…” Matius interested changes his tone, “Kravos? But that’s impossible! You were both born with the same mother on the same night, that doesn’t make any sense”.  “Ivan raises his head up weakly, “I know but I have reason to believe that Dervish was Kravo’s coming, the coming of his revenge on the Sousan bloodline”. Matius shakes his head, “Oh come ON Ivan!” It’s been 25 years since we defeated Dervish, or Kravos or whatever you want to call him. I stopped him with your own very sword, don’t you remember?” “Yes…but that’s not the point, you yourself believed that Dervish would return witnessing that prophecy isn’t that right. What if it is true?” “Ivan…if Dervish were to have returned he would have been back by now. You need to stop bringing back the past. Just…just let the past stay where it belongs” Ivan lowers his head, as Matius looks back at him as he starts to walk away. “Wait there is something else you need to hear!”, Ivan blasts outstretching him hand. “Enough! I’ve wasted my time here, being here.”, Matius shouts, “Just let me live my life in peace!” Ivan watches Matius leave the throne room before lowering his head in depression.

 

Several days later Ivan becomes more isolated from his troops, many deeming him insane. The trust of his troops withering, Ivan turns to his two sons for comfort staying with his wife and two sons day and night. Each day he gets worse traumatised until it gets too much.  Thinking to himself Ivan remembers the sword which defeated Dervish, what if that sword is… no... that couldn’t be right, that sword was made to stop Dervish. Ivan rises from his throne heading towards his sword room.
  He opens the sword room It creaks open as he walks inside, familiarising himself with the different collection of swords. Ones he had since childhood, several unused swords given as gifts and some which carry important memories. Lazily he notices a wooden blunt sword small in size hanging across the wall. Curiously he walks uneasily towards it, immediately triggering memories of his father of his childhood. He sudden flinches somewhat saddened, unwilling to take any more he quickly moves his shaking hand away. Turning he looks at the rest of the swords, shelved and hanging in the chamber. Many of them are long and think, and some are small representing him as a young boy. There are even some which show signs of rusting.

His eyes then turn looking at the sword which defeated Dervish, his brother. Mesmerised he walks over to it, running his finger along the leather handle and cold blade noticing how many dents and cracks it’s received in combat. The sword does feel strange Ivan questions to himself, he doesn’t remember it feeling this aura. He looks closer concerned, noticing a large black crack in the blade itself. Realising he’s wasting his time he turns back towards the door.
  As he does the sword’s crack increases in size. Ivan pauses in silence before slowly twisting his head back to the sword. Filled with concern he rushes back to the sword in distress. Immediately the sword starts to blacken as ash falls from the large growing crack. “No!! nonono!…” Ivan blasts watching as ash starts pouring from the cracks in the blade. Realising what’s happening Ivan quickly heads for the door, running towards it before a gust of wind slams it firmly shut. “come on, OPEN!”, Ivan screams his hand pulling desperately at the door handle to no success.
  Realising he can’t escape Ivan turns towards the sword now completely cracked. Looking for defence he turns towards the swords shelved on his right, without hesitation he grabs one, bracing himself. The room itself starts to get windy, as the hissing gets louder. The ash now scattered on the floor starts spinning in the air, turning into smoke. Ivan raises his arm, the wind blowing his hair rapidly. The hissing then ceases as a figure forms from the smoke.

 

The smoke then starts to gain form as ash starts to build inside, forming arms legs. Then a head begins to form, revealing a restored Dervish. He rises into the air, looking at an bitter looking Ivan.  “It’s been along time brother”, giving a smile. Ivan backs away defensively confused. “But...this… This is impossible!”, Ivan exclaims confused, “YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!”. Dervish gives a smile, “You mean with that sword? Please… I destroy everything. Bodies, souls, even seals mean nothing to my power”, pointing directly at the now broken sword. Ivan looks at it feeling betrayed, “damn you…”  Dervish notices Ivan’s physical form giving a smile, “seems time has not been kind to your body, just like Sousan you’ve become weak and old It’s a pity. As for me time means nothing, I will never age, I will always be strong” Ivan hearing these words looks down in defeat, thinking what he must do. “Just accept it… I’m far beyond you now”. Ivan closes his eyes insulted, “Yes you are right I have indeed grown old Dervish, but there are many things you have yet to learn!”.  
  Ivan looking defiantly at Dervish, “Your power and strength mean nothing to knowledge for I know that another son was born into this world” Dervish pauses glaring at Ivan, “Impossible, we were the only two!” Ivan gives a little smile, “scares you doesn’t it? That is one person…this one man could be the one to destroy everything that you represent”. Dervish shutters bitterly thinking this, “You lie…”. Ivan looks deep into Dervish’s dark black eyes in defiance. “Don’t believe me? There is a book in the throne room of Sousan’s words, where your darkness will never reach.  You had better be ready for hell because when he awakens his true power…you will be NOTHING before him. He will seek you out and when he does... you WILL FALL!”.
Dervish flinches at those last words, with a little fear, “You are a fool!.. No one has the power to stand to me, not even you!” In anger Ivan launches himself at Dervish, raising his sword into the air, only to slice through thin air much to his annoyance. Before Ivan can defend himself Dervish reforms to his left side before violently thrusting his arm through Ivan. Ivan screams in pain, instantly releasing his sword, It clatters on the ground falling silent.
  In desperation Ivan weakly moves his skeletal arm, gripping Dervish’s arm, breaking flakes of ash. Sensing his pain Dervish lifts Ivan into the air as he screams. Dervish lowers Ivan to his level smiling in satisfaction, “goodbye…Ivan”. Ivan’s body starts to blackens, turning Ivan into nothing but ash. The ash then breaks apart falling to the ground spreading evenly as Dervish looks down at the ground. Feeling a bit sorry for his brother. He then raises his head seeing one of Ivan’s sons giving a sinister smile approaching him.

Author's Note

still in progress. Will be mistakes

Reviews

[dw817]

Just a few. :)

Suggest you take speech, especially different from each passage and separate them, I.E.:

The bodyguard looks at Ivan nodding before heading out of the throne room as the others look in confusion. “Where did you get that book?” one of the bodyguard’s questions looks curiously. “I found it where all the past rulers possessions are kept, “Ivan notes looking at the faded cover, “This here book is Sousan’s life in words”. Ivan looks back to his bodyguards, “please could you leave me in private I need time alone to think”. Many of them look bemused before leaving Ivan to his own devices. Ivan closes his eyes before heading towards the throne with the book in hand.

Actually this whole paragraph is a little hard to follow, here are some initial suggestions. Remember, the best you can do for your writing is to increase the descriptions and decrease the repetitions. Make it a joy to read, that's the key.

The guard peers at Ivan, nodding, before heading out of the throne room as the others look in confusion.

One of the guards questions, "Where did you get that book?"

Ivan looks at the faded cover without facing him, "I found it where all the past ruler's possessions are kept. This book is Sousan's life in words."

He looks back to the one who spoke, perhaps a little perturbed by his forwardness, "Please, could you leave me in private - I need time alone to think about this."

The guard and his compatriots look slightly bemused, but eventually leave Ivan to his own devices.

In their absence, he closes his eyes in thought. A moment later he looks around again as if coming to a decision. Then he heads toward the throne room with the book in his hand.

[Shane Williams]

You need to read the next chapter. It's probably one where something very BAD happens