Death

oh yeah e.e

                  What is death?

                  Your last breath?

                  Is it the end?

                  or is it a mend?

                  of a broken heart,

                  the poison dart.

                  Seeping through my veins,

                  Pulling down these chains,

                  Weighing me down til the end

                  It's my way to fix or mend

                  It's my very last breath

                  It's my sweet, my cherished, Death.

 

                     ~Sharpy

Author's Note

I pulled this out of my ass, so enjoy this shit D;

Reviews

[NightsShade]

Ahhh very good and great flow. Everything just fit together perfectly. Even if you did pull it out of your a*s it was still a great piece. Keep on writing, even if you feel like no one is listening.

[CircusNerd]

wow these could be lyrics XD

[[untitled]]

= ) This gave me a chills, in a great way.

[Greg Close]

This could work as song lyrics - good inherent rhythm, with concise word choice. Good topic, very controversial - is there a point where you welcome death, or do you always fight it? It's interesting that although the voice of the poem sees death as "weighing" and "pulling down" which have an inexorable, inevitable, and not typically cheery connotation; in this case, the narrator seems to welcome it, since it brings about the desired result. One thing I note, and I could be wrong - but after reading through this a couple times I'm left with the same feeling. The narrator doesn't seem to be looking for peace, just emptiness/absence of life. ? Or.... maybe I need some coffee, now. :)

[Jamie S.]

Interesting prospective....I worked in nursing homes for years and death is a part of life. Some do consider it to be sweet and cherished. What else is up your a*s for us to see??

-Jamie

[deeps]

I like this write alot
Very well written and wonderful flow

[Sean M. Addams]

i like the detail and rhyme in this piece... thought you did a great with it.. overall nice job on this...

[~eVelyN fAiTh~]

This was very interesting. I like how you described death as things that happen in life

[Lunar Lightning]

This is pretty good. Simple, short, dark with a sense of trickery it seems. I like it.

Luna