When Flowers Die

The ground is damp, the lush green grass covered in dew drops. There's a cold breeze. One of the ones that chills you to the bone, creeps inside your soul making the pain that much more unbearable. I let out a shaky breath. The grey tomb stone stands tall; regal against the shade of the willowy oak behind it. It's as if the rock wants one last moment to shine, wants to let whatever it stands for have its last few moments of glory. But as my gaze rests on the wilting flowers I left by its side the day of the funeral, the vision dissipates. It's once again just a dull slab of stone shoved into the earth.

I place the new bouquet of flowers gently on the ground, lifting up the dead ones as I do so. A wave of emotion washes over. A sorrow so deep it burns. Turning my heart to ash. It digs into me like sharp nails drawing blood. But it's not my outer layer that's been breached, it's my core. The walls I've built up over time are crumbling down. 

Memories race around my mind like fish in a deep, empty sea. I catch hold of one and once again I'm staring into Andrew's eyes, glossy and emerald, more magnificent than even the greatest soothsayer's crystal ball. I can feel sticky popsicle juice trickling down my fingers, smell the salty scent of ocean air. I massage the sand at my feet, pushing in through my toes and lifting it up with the balls of my feet pressed together. We're sitting on the same towel, the one he got me for my 16th Birthday. I can't remember what it was, but there was a joke that went along with it. I rub the sticky red substance on his cheek, he smiles down at me and grabs me by the waist. And we kiss.

That memory fades off as another resurfaces. It's autumn. We're walking his dog, a tiny brown thing he likes to call Killer. I do too, to amuse him. It's using its little legs to propel itself through the leaves we kicked into a pile. Andrew c***s his head at me as if he's debating something. He soon comes to a decision. I'm pushed into the pile of red and orange leaves, Killer frantically scurrying out of the way. A body lands on top of me but I'm flipped around, now he's at the bottom holding me up with strong arms. I laugh, gazing into the deep pools of green.

Memory after memory, they flash through my mind. Each one bringing back emotions that had been swept under a rug, shoved into every nook and every cranny of my mind.

I sit down on the ground, my back resting against the rough grave stone. I take the letter I wrote to him from my pocket and read it over one more time.

Andrew,

I don’t understand. I don’t understand why it was you and not me. And I’m sorry it was. I’m so sorry. But I don’t want to write those words over and over again, for they’re just words. They don’t really mean anything. Or they do, just they don’t mean enough. Aren’t powerful enough to express how… sorry I am.

                I don’t know if there was a reason. If I am still alive because there was this greater being who believed that I should stay that way. I don’t think so, then you’d be here too. And besides, I’m in control of my life. At least… I was. That night, I didn’t feel in control at all. I wasn’t. But some things you can’t fight, you can’t control, they’re going to happen no matter what you do, no matter what you try, no matter what you think. No matter how much you love.

                I’m never going to be the same again. I’ve already changed. But that’s a fact I have to understand. I have to gain control of my life again. I can’t let these feelings take over me. I’m going to get through it and I’m going to move on. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to forget. I will never forget. Never forget you, never forget that night, never forget how I felt when I was with you… I’ll never forget us.

With the most love any person that has ever �" or will ever �" walked this earth can give,
me. 

Author's Note

Please be critical! But any feed back is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for the read.

Reviews

[Kelsy]

Guess this could get more expanded.Really interesting and nice.Good job!

[Leslie Philibert]

Had a quick look, and liked what I read, thought the background well presented,
I`ll come back to this, good work.

[Mr.Cardigan]

i agree with BLBrown, good job

[BLBrown]

Very sad. I agree that this should be expanded into a longer "short story." You could probably provide character, motivation, relationship details and easily more than double this. There are so many questions left unanswered, which you can do, but you still need to feed the reader enough to make them have some depth of understanding by the end. Nice job.

[Skye]

You write so beautifully! I love it!

[Owlgirl]

WOW! Very well written and worded, so truthful and honest and brutally beautiful. Food for a longer story? It's gorgeus.

[MoriartyMesa]

I like this, but it could be expanded, there was a lot to take in, but it works well.