She's Screaming Out

Carli has lunch with her old friends, and the experience is worse than she expected.

Lunch was worse than Carli had expected.

They had ordered baby taters, and had somehow found something to talk about.

Everything was casual and relaxed, almost like old times. Until she walked in.

Cyanne stopped blabbing about her party and looked up. She and Cassy grinned and ran over to all girl that had just entered the cafe. She had silky red hair that hooded a heart-shaped face. Cyanne and Cassy ran back to the table with the girl, looking excited.

“Carli, this is Cora. She’s, like, the best!” Cassy said excitedly.

Cora smiled and waved.

For the next fifteen minutes, Cyanne, Cassy, and Cora gossipped and giggled about boys and were completely unaware of Carli.

“That’s it!” Carli said, particularly loud, drawing attention from the other customers.

“What’s wrong, Carls?” Cassy was genuinely worried.

“You’re what’s wrong! I thought we were friends. What happened to all the fun  we used to have?”

Cyanne stood, and calmly said, “Grow up, Carolina.”  No one ever called Carli by her full name, not even her mother. It was an unspoken law. “We just don’t like doing that stuff anymore. We’ve moved on. You should too.”

Carli screamed at herself inside when she felt something wet running down her cheeks.

“Now she’s crying, like the baby she always was.” Cora, Cassy, and Cyanne laughed and sashayed out of Spoon’s.

Carli sat back down and held her face in her hands. “What’s wrong with me?” she whispered through sobs. “Where did I go wrong?”

Reviews

[skiiish367]

I like the description and the feeling you display in your writing. It's also a nice and fun plot to play around with. I do however think, it's a little rushed. Slow it down a little, and go into deeper detail about the emotions that Carli is going through.

[SilverInk]

I did rush this chapter a bit, so I assumed that would happen. Thanks for reading!

[Gejodi]

I agree with GoldenNotes here....and ran over to all...a girl? typo? Until she walked in perhaps put she in parenthesis? Seems a little too vague here too much for the reader to read into even if the story doesnt involve them in the plot my 2 cents

[SilverInk]

Yes, that's a typo. I'm looking into making it a little more expressive

[SilverInk]

But also, the she shouldn't be in parentheses. I should have italicized it, but it was supposed to create suspense, sorry if it didn't work. Thanks though!

[GoldenNotes]

I feel like this chapter was very short and rushed here could have been a bit more to this chapter.

[SilverInk]

That's true but intentional. It was short and shallow because that's not mainly what the book is about. It's about more than her relationship with her friends and more about what is to come...