08-01-15

quick something

The smell of her kiss just left my lips,

I can't be stressed with her,

As soon as were apart,

I obsess for her,

Author's Note

I have never smoked a cigarette but tried to compare it to this feeling. Just tried to capture the feeling of wanting to be with a girl even though I had just left her house. She is my addiction.

Reviews

[Gabby Nieves]

damn, i feel this one so hard. Short but says so much more and reading this gave me a pain in my chest because I know that feeling oh so well. It's beautiful really, and amazing.. but strangly painful..? To want and yearn for another human like that. haha It's sick, don't you just love it? Awesome little piece.

[StimulateyourCreativity]

Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!!! :)

[Rana]

Quite a clever comparison too, then the lines keep shrinking consecutively, it's very brief, yet gets the picture through to the readers. Nicely done, definitely extendable.

[StimulateyourCreativity]

Thank you, I appreciate it!! :)

[B]

That is true love
get hooked by a kiss
a simple kiss

that is all it takes

[StimulateyourCreativity]

really, thanks for the input!

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome comparison... I have been there too my friend. Someones passion becomes your addiction... just can't get enough of it :) Nice work

[StimulateyourCreativity]

It's such a crazy and bittersweet feeling. Thanks my man! :)

[wordman]

fatal attraction,now you need more.she has stimulated your soul

[StimulateyourCreativity]

ha she definitely has, thank you my friend!

[Anna]

This feels very bittersweet. A good short stanza.

[StimulateyourCreativity]

Bittersweet is the best word to describe the feeling, thank you!!!

[Anna]

No problem. :)

[Terry O'Leary]

Like quarks, the force increases with separation distance...
Nice poem!!!

[StimulateyourCreativity]

thank you!!

[....................]

you capture it well, this sentiment of wanting more and more...

[StimulateyourCreativity]

I tried my best, thank you!!

[Gee]

Nicely done,an addiction....

[StimulateyourCreativity]

THANKS!!! :)

[walkingdollhouse]

I like it alot, especially the link between cigarette addiction and love/or lust. I think it would benefit by being abit longer though. perhaps more of a focus on this feeling of addiction? :)

[StimulateyourCreativity]

Im working on a longer version, maybe even a short visual in the future. Thank you!!

[Stan Lee]

Great poem. Love how you've told so much in so few words. Excellent. :)

[StimulateyourCreativity]

I tried my best to do so, thanks!!!