Whatsername?

She spit when she talked like some drugged oracle

spouting riddle riddled prophesies

she was a woman with more opinions than sense

and she obviously learned to breathe and talk simultaneously

 

The club was hot or I was hot from the tequila

She was hot too

and her slurred but rapid fire speech pattern

did little to detract from that fact

 

She looked like a wood nymph

lean curvy dark curly

eyes like gluttonous green grapes

shimmered with a lack of focus

that bordered on unconsciousness

 

She groped and gyrated against anything with a heartbeat

her aggressiveness scared many of the hunters and they danced timidly

Through the pounding music and choir of conversation

I learned she had lost someone very dear to her and was

washing away her sadness in the fountain of eternal 90 proof   

 

I watched as the sadness and drunken stupor fought for superiority

whiskey scented tears poured down her face as she leaned her head against my shoulder

I can’t stand being the superhero with terminal cancer anymore.

I buy her a drink and leave while she dances with a pretty couple

I’ll lose her number…accidently

Reviews

[TBird J.]

Cold yet caring. The emotions come across so clearly. I adore the wood nymph imagery you created. The descriptions on her doings really bring a scene to my mind, very powerful writing!

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I really love the pespective through the narrator's eyes~ here inside this beauty is a mulitude of tales which speaks of the cleverness and deep attention to detail in your writings~ characters are vivid and vibrant with their own sharp motions which isn't the easiest thing to achieve within the body of 5 stanzas~ but you have done just that~ created the human dance of everydays that are anything but ordinary if one opens ones inner eyes in three dimensional hues~

[BLACKCRUSH]

You have a amazing view of the world ... Each stanza I read I felt like I was there watching her , trying to understand her. This really hit me . This is crazy good I love this style of writing.

[brae]

You have such a gift. I have no critique, only praise. Great job.

[Samuel Dickens]

The scene you paint is vivid and yet leaves room between the spaces to imagine and wonder what the rest of the story might be. Excellent writing!

[The Flawed]

Ok the KING is back, long live the king.
This what I'm talking about, "whiskey scented tears poured down her face"
Its poems like this that make me come here.
Great Job, well done