The Wrong Mr. Right

The Wrong Mr. Right

A Story by Tina H.W.
"

A short story about a girl on her way to a blind date. What could go wrong...?

"
The train clacked and rocked a nervous Sienna Andrews nearer to meeting her blind date. She slid a sweaty palm across her lap. Undeniable nervous but excited too. Looking out of the window as fields and farms sped by, she hoped that this one would be a gentleman: respectful, polite but with an air of quiet confidence, unlike the last disastrous one two months ago. She squeezed her eyes shut momentarily to try and rid herself of the visions of unwelcome, wondering hands and...argh! This one would be different. Of course he would.
A loud voice in the seat behind her brought her out of her daydream.
"Ah, man! This blind date I'm supposed to meet...I hope she's a looker and a goer if you know what I mean!" Then he laughed lasciviously.
Sienna froze at the mention of his blind date. She took out her compact mirror and looked discreetly at the tattooed man with facial-piercings, shouting into his phone.
"I hate ugly, skinny girls, man. I hope she ain't fat either. I don't do fat nor skinny ugly b*****s!" Then he laughed again.
Sienna's heart plunged to the depths of her new Jimmy Choo shoes. This...this...man 'thing' was the one she was due to meet two stops away in a nice little cafe near the station? No way!
She caught eyes with a man sitting nearby who had obviously heard the offensive man behind her. He raised his eyebrow in an "awful man isn't he?" Manner and smiled at her.
Sienna acknowledged with an "I agree!" Smile of her own. She stood up to leave the train at the next stop. There was no chance in hell that she was going to meet, let alone date this arrogant little boy. Pity though she wouldn't see his face when he realised he'd been stood up..Ha! She'd had a lucky escape!
She smiled again at the well-dressed man nearby. He smiled back. Then she left the train feeling a mixture of elation and disappointment.

Marcus Wright watched the pretty girl step off the train and walk past the window in her short feminine summer dress. Her long blonde ponytail bounced with every footfall. She seemed just his type: quiet, kind of shy with a gorgeous smile. He only hoped that the girl he was meeting on a blind date at the next stop in the nice little cafe near the station was just like her.

© 2016 Tina H.W.


My Review

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Featured Review

Hahah so probably the first piece I found of yours in which I figured out the twist before coming to the end 😉
This was a good story, kinda feeling sorry for the guy lol
I'm relieved btw that I didn't get the jump here. 😛
Nicely penned, Tina! 👍😊

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Years Ago

Ack ack!!! Hahah you're terrible in poetry lol jk 😂😂😂😂
Interesting though. . mak.. read more
Tina H.W.

7 Years Ago

Haha ....well now you come to mention it... My poem Invisibility and Me is one you MIGHT find intere.. read more
Dr. YumnaKay

7 Years Ago

Well okayy heading over to read now :) ;) I think I will :P



Reviews

oooooh!! Gut punch! Predictable to the perceptive eye and mind, but it doesn't make it any less of a gut punch when it happens. For the execution of this story was done splendidly enough all the feels were felt! Well done!

Posted 3 Years Ago


I enjoyed your story....sad they dint get to meet :)
Maybe you can add next chapter where they accidentally meet .... ;)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tina H.W.

7 Years Ago

Maybe Ria. Maybe... Thank you so much for stopping by :)
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
BBP
Cute story, I love the open ending endings. Leaves you wondering.......

Posted 7 Years Ago


Hahah so probably the first piece I found of yours in which I figured out the twist before coming to the end 😉
This was a good story, kinda feeling sorry for the guy lol
I'm relieved btw that I didn't get the jump here. 😛
Nicely penned, Tina! 👍😊

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Years Ago

Ack ack!!! Hahah you're terrible in poetry lol jk 😂😂😂😂
Interesting though. . mak.. read more
Tina H.W.

7 Years Ago

Haha ....well now you come to mention it... My poem Invisibility and Me is one you MIGHT find intere.. read more
Dr. YumnaKay

7 Years Ago

Well okayy heading over to read now :) ;) I think I will :P
Irony, you gotta' love it. Very sweet and to the point. Thanks, Dave

Posted 7 Years Ago


Tina H.W.

7 Years Ago

Thank you, Dave :)
This is amazing... You know Tina, your style of story telling is just so very unique, here again you have gained the respect from your reader... The story started with an excitement and a new hope that the girl is going to find someone far better than the one whom she met last time on a blind date... But it ends in a sad tone, I wish she could know that the man who talked to him politely with a caring voice was none other than the one whom she was going to meet 2 blocks later... This was so very sad and beautiful in its own way... Well done sweet frnd...

Sincerely
Dhiman

Posted 7 Years Ago


Cute, sad tale, connections missed. Might I make a suggestion?

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tina H.W.

7 Years Ago

Yes, please, absolutely! :)
Shannon

7 Years Ago

If you focus a bit more on the undesirable would be date, the end will feel like more of a twist. D.. read more
Tina H.W.

7 Years Ago

That makes so much more sense! That could really work...thank you for the advice :) I'll definitely .. read more

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Added on June 16, 2016
Last Updated on June 16, 2016

Author

Tina H.W.
Tina H.W.

United Kingdom



About
Hello! :) Wow! I feel out of my depth among so many talented writers! Well.. I like to write (that's when I have the time) Most of my stories are either humorous or dark and sinister. I love to try a.. more..

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