Still my Heart oh Sweet Desire

Still my Heart oh Sweet Desire

A Poem by Will Neill
"

A short sonnet-about a lovers glance across a crowded room (or is it?)

"

Still my heart oh Sweet Desire

***********


Still my heart oh sweet desire

On crescent moon once passed

To hold thee tender in a moments grace

With others whom you may transpire


Concede not my wistful glance

For upon thee it choose to stay

Now in my dreams thus torment flows

Must Perpetuate my love to chance


Hath thou indulged my looks return

Or banished thoughts not gracious

Or worthy not concedes thy mind

An eternity I must endure to learn


That heavens glimpse to render seek

Momentarily lacks devoid behold

Then in a smile thy passion moves me

And courage lets my body speak


A sonnet By Will Neill-2013.



















© 2013 Will Neill



Author's Note

Will Neill
I wrote this because I wanted to see what it would be like to copy Shakespear.
If you like it great if not well thats ok too. I am going to make this my last post for a while so I will be calling by from time to time only to reveiw.
Will

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Reviews

you are just another shakespeare

Posted 7 Months Ago


this is is super excellence

Posted 7 Months Ago


Will Neill

7 Months Ago

thank you
Will
This is so deep and touching that brought tears in my eyes.
Bravo.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Will Neill

1 Year Ago

dreamer, thank you for your kind words (sorry I made you cry) take care.
Will
Riding the Rainbow

1 Year Ago

Crying is something that doesn't come easily to me. Good job.
Beautifully written, Will. I loved the tenderness that flowed effortlessly ...

Posted 1 Year Ago


Will Neill

1 Year Ago

Tiana, thank you for your kind words. please send me a Read Request for anything you wish me to revi.. read more
Tiana

1 Year Ago

It was my pleasure and you are so welcome. I don't send rr's regularly. I can understand how overwhe.. read more
this has a gentle flow that is both graceful and romantic.. it tenderly caresses with a promise of desire that is delicious and sweet. beautifully done..

few things I noticed... (mostly opinion, for what it is worth)

"To hold thee tender in a moments grace"... not sure, but think you need an apostrophe here.. "moment's grace"...

"For upon thee it choose to stay"... again, not sure, but flows better in my head as "chooses"

"An eternity I must endure to learn"... (this is all opinion, but... sharing anyway.. I would change "I must endure" to "I sacrifice" more passionate.. again in my opinion.. )

"That heavens glimpse to render seek"... not sure, but think you need an apostrophe here as well.. "heaven's glimpse"...

I really enjoyed this enchanting piece.. very refreshing to see a sonnet so well written..


Posted 2 Years Ago


Will Neill

2 Years Ago

April, thank you for your comments, you are right a few apostrophe's have gone missing. I shall ende.. read more
So romantic! I didn't know you were a poet, Will. This great.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Will Neill

3 Years Ago

A man of many talents Sam, much like yourself.
Thanks
Will
A finely composed romance poem penned in traditional old world style, a particular favourite of mine!

Splendid indeed Will !

Posted 3 Years Ago


Will Neill

3 Years Ago

Thanks Tom, I appreciate the gesture.
Will
One of the best pieces that I've read on this site. You're a puzzle that never seizes to surprise me. Bravo Will. Bravo.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Will Neill

3 Years Ago

Much appreciated Shane.
Will
A Very beautifully written sonnet and so appreciated. It is my own long nursed aim to write a sonnet. This will inspire me.

Posted 3 Years Ago



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1300 Views
31 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 27, 2013
Last Updated on August 27, 2013
Tags: love, sonnet, poem, heart, desire, glance

Author

Will Neill
Will Neill

belfast, United Kingdom



About
Born in Belfast in 1957, oldest boy of seven children-3 boys and 4 girls. Brought up in a poor community but with hard work at school he managed to secure an apprenticeship as an Electrician. After wo.. more..

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