Never Coming Home

Based off the songs The Ghost Of You by My Chemical Romance and When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne. Also, the book is called "Lovely Fate"

I took the letter and triangularly folded flag out of the officer's hands numbly. How could this be possible? 

He grabbed my hands and placed them around his neck before lowering his to rest against the small of my back, smiling as we twirled joyfully in circles to the beat of the song. My body was pressed tightly against his as we moved gracefully across the large dance floor, his emerald green eyes searching my dark chocolate brown ones behind his shaggy, chin length black hair. 

Tears mixed with my black eyeliner rolled down my face like a river, only to fall on the ground and explode into tiny fragments of what it once was. I sniffed as I slowly opened the letter and began to read it, the letters in his beautiful, slanted, cursive handwriting that he thought must be the ugliest in the world, but I beg to differ. 

He pulled me closer to him as the song slowed down, and we stayed that way for almost an hour until the dance was over and we were sent home. We were only 16 years old. 

I could hear the officer speaking, but I couldn't hear the words. I could see his mouth moving when I looked up at him blankly, but I could not comprehend that he was speaking. I bit my bottom lip to hold back a scream. 

Once more, my 19 year old fiance reminded me why he had to go off to war, then he smiled and kissed me, promising that he would return in time to see our baby girl, our own little princess. Then, as if to prove his point, he kissed my stomach. In a final goodbye, he hugged me tightly and held me there for a moment, then, without another word, he let go and set off on the plane headed to Afghanistan. Or at least, I think it was Afghanistan... 

I hugged the flag close to my chest, as close as humanely possible, the letter squished between my chest and the flag, my head bent forward as I cried, letting the tears fall freely down my face. "He said that he would come back..." I thought. 

Author's Note

First off, this is dedicated to all those American Soldiers who fought and didn't make it home.
Now. OMG I SO LOVE THIS SO FREAKING MUCH AND ERMAHGERD I WANT TO MAKE THIS INTO A BOOK! I say that often, but I guess I just love what I write. :P But I don't know how many other people would like it... :/ I mean, I know one of my friends would love to read it, because she loves to read what I wrote. :3

Reviews

[beautiful dreamer]

humanly not humanely thats like total different word there. sorry babe if this is going to be published im proofreading since ive read it before lol. a couple other grammar things. i numbly took instead of tacking numbly at the end there on the first sentence. begged* you have he thought in past tense so therefore beg must be in past tense too. other than those few things its perfect and i'm so proud of you!

[Silent Wolf]

Lol hank you. :3

[beautiful dreamer]

welcome :)

[Silent Wolf]

Lol, yeah. The editors all loved it, one told me it made her cry. :3

[beautiful dreamer]

awe good :)

[Silent Wolf]

The book is called "Falling In Love."

[C. Rose]

Beg doesn't have to be past tense - the character still thinks his handwriting is beautiful. It might be helpful if the entirety of the non-italic was present tense to contrast from the past tense italic.

[Bluefire]

This is beautiful, I love the story and the emotion and I can so picture this being a great book!
I can see chapters of him fighting in the chaos of war and her having to deal with gossip and raising a baby on her own.. AND THEN HE DIES! D: or comes back. Hopefully he comes back. x3
P.S... At the beginning when they was dancing and you mentioned her tear exploding... I actually pictured them sploding xD
Good job!

[Silent Wolf]

Lol thanks. And actually, I have no idea what happens, I just go off of what I know. I know my step dad's mother got a triangular flag when somebody in his family died in war, and I think they get a letter when somebody dies. And I can only imagine how it must feel to lose the one you love in a war. And I tried to show a lot of emotion in this piece because I knew it was a touchy subject because of how many people have loved ones fighting in the war/army/navy/whatever, but I really wanted to do it. :3

[Bluefire]

=3 well you certainly achieved that. Can't wait to read the book. My brother in law is in the Army and I know my sister would never be the same if he died...

[Silent Wolf]

Good luck with him! I hope he makes it home safely.

[Bluefire]

He came home a while ago but my sister thinks he might be sent back any day now.. Thanks for your support. ^^

[Silent Wolf]

Awww I hope he doesn't get sent back, but at the same time, I hope he does. And you're welcome, anytime. ^-^

[Silent Wolf]

The book is up. It's called "Falling In Love"

[Bluefire]

Awesome, I'll check it out. ^^

[Dreamer]

This is beautiful and full of emotion. A lot of my family has been and still is in the military... some as the poem says Never came home but others were lucky.
In June 2014, after our high school graduation my best friend is leaving for basic training and then shortly after he is going to be deployed... i just hope that the scenario in your poem doesn't happen to me... I'm hoping he will get to come back home.. and i will be here waiting.

[Silent Wolf]

I wish you two good luck and hope he gets home safe.

[Dreamer]

Thank you... I really hope he does too.

[Silent Wolf]

Of course! And best of luck. I've never been in this scenario so I don't know what it feels like...

[Dreamer]

Thanks, and you're lucky to have not been in this scenario...trust me, it sucks!

[Silent Wolf]

Lol I'll bet! I wrote this based off of how I think I would feel in that specific scenario (as with most of my writing) and I was going to write this book the same way. :3

[Dreamer]

I look forward to reading the book due to the account that I can relate with it.

[Silent Wolf]

If you would like I could notify you. :)

[Dreamer]

That would be great..

[Silent Wolf]

Alrighty then. :) I shall do that. :)

[Silent Wolf]

The book is up. It's called "Falling In Love"

[Dreamer]

cool, i look forward to reading it

[InsanityWriter]

This is beautiful... A lot of my family is in the military, so I can kinda relate, although none of them have died (thankfully!). My uncle is currently deployed...
Excellently written. ;)

100/100!

[Silent Wolf]

The book is up. It's called "Falling In Love"

[E.P.L]

Hello Grey Wolf. I watched the video you have used, and things haven't changed much in schools. I am from an older generation and had my share of the bullies. As you say words do hurt and it is hard to shake the off. I realized after a while that bullies are the sad ones. Something is missing in their home and they try to make themselves 'big' by picking on people.
I read your piece 'Never coming Home'. It had real feeling and understanding of the situation. It is very sad that a young girl like you has to worry about such things
If you wish to become a published writer then I think you should work on grammar, spelling and the technical side as well as on the story or poem. I have learned by experience that Editors have no time to correct mistakes, and soon stop reading if the writing isn't up to scratch, even though the idea and the story is good. I hope you spend some time on creative writing in your class, this lets your imagination free - and maybe there is a writer's group you could join. Best of luck and I'll be in touch again when I've read another of your pieces. EPL I don't think I am equipped to give marks, not yet anyway until I get to know this site better.

[Silent Wolf]

Lol thanks. And I'm glad that you actually read my profile (I think) and I honestly am trying to imagine how other people would feel if they were in the position I create. I feel that this is one of my best works so far out of all my fiction stories. I feel that my best was also one of my first, which was my story about how I felt after my grandmother died. And I try very hard to pay attention to grammar and spelling, and I've been thinking about joining some writing clubs and am looking for one nearby. And I wish you good luck in figuring out this site, and if you need any help, just message me. :3

[Silent Wolf]

But I worry about a lot of things, and I'm very mature for my age, despite my problems...

[K. Hicks]

I cried! its a short but very powerful piece please continue!

[Silent Wolf]

I was thinking about making this into a book as well. :3

[K. Hicks]

you should I honestly cried! I have family in the military both past and present!

[Silent Wolf]

Wow! I would be so scared and hope they come back alive after reading this!

[K. Hicks]

I'm sure they will and I am scared but i love them and i know they love to serve our country (such that it is right now :P ) so all i can do is pray for their safty :D

[Silent Wolf]

The book is up. It's called "Falling In Love"

[EMMIE]

This is a great emotional write, the dedication is really something special. I think it's creative and unique and the idea is great! Good work here!

[Silent Wolf]

Thank you. Do you think it would make for a great book?

[EMMIE]

You can do anything you want...that's the beauty of story telling. I think it can make a great novel, you can develop it and add a lot more to this story. You have a lot of room to make it into a book.

[Silent Wolf]

Alrighty then. Thank you so much for your input. :)

[Silent Wolf]

The book is up. It's called "Falling In Love."

[Felicity's Eve]

Really great and emotional! It would make a great book and I'd love to see more depth to the characters and their back stories so I say make a book! :'D

[Silent Wolf]

Yaaaaaaaaaay! :) Lol. XD :3

[Silent Wolf]

The book is up. It's called "Falling In Love"

[Felicity's Eve]

Yay! :):):)

[Silent Wolf]

:):):) Lol.

[Felicity's Eve]

I'm reading it right now. :3

[Silent Wolf]

Cool deal. :) I'm almost done with Chapter 2. :)

[Felicity's Eve]

Yay! I just reviewed ch 1 :)

[Silent Wolf]

Yup. :3 Chapter two, you meet the guy in the story. :3

[Silent Wolf]

Here's the song The Ghost Of You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCUpvTMis-Y
Here's the song When You're Gone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1Frx2k6A0w
Just in case you were wondering. :)

[LunarSong]

I loved it! In a sad way. I think it has the great makings of a book. :)

[Silent Wolf]

Yay! Somebody agrees with me! :)

[LunarSong]

You're welcome :) It does seem to have a story behind it.

[Silent Wolf]

Lol. Yeah, I guess it does. :3

[LunarSong]

Though it does hint on a bit of it ;)

[Silent Wolf]

Lol. I can see that too. :3

[LunarSong]

Lol. :) :3

[Silent Wolf]

*smiles* So how are you?

[LunarSong]

Tired *yawn* How are you?

[Silent Wolf]

Good. Writing a letter in spanish. My spanish teacher is going to send all the class' letters to a friend of hers in uruguay, then they're going to reply in English. :3 Lol I'm so weird...

[LunarSong]

That's really cool. I'm taking spanish too. :)

[Silent Wolf]

Which level? I'm in level 3 Spanish right now. :)

[LunarSong]

Well, actually I'm doing Rosetta Stone. Did you know they have no translations? I didn't when I started. It's really fun though.
I'm weird too ;)

[Silent Wolf]

Que divertido! Te gusta Rosetta Stone?

[LunarSong]

I'm really not that far... I don't know what divertido or gusta means.

[Silent Wolf]

Divertido - fun - la clase es divertido. (The class is fun)
Gustar - to like - Me gusta hablar (I like to talk)
Encantar - to love (something) - Me encanto escribir (I like to write)
Amar - to love (person) - Mi mama me ama. (My mom loves me)
Lol. :3 I could try to teach some spanish through message if you would like... :)

[LunarSong]

Well, I'll learn it eventually ;) Well I know Encantada de conocerlo if I put I spelled that right :/

[Silent Wolf]

Cuantos anos tienes?

[LunarSong]

Tengo quince anos. Cuantos anos tienes?

[Silent Wolf]

Quince. :3

[LunarSong]

Lol ;) I'm almost deisiseis though.

[Silent Wolf]

Diez y seis... Lol don't worry. It's also on my profile wall...

[LunarSong]

Oh well :3

[Silent Wolf]

:3 :) Escuchas mucho musica?

[LunarSong]

I LOVE music! I listen to it a lot.

[Silent Wolf]

Lol. :3 Which genre(s)?

[LunarSong]

Well, maybe I'm weird :p but I love a bit of classical, and folk music, I play the violin so of course. But I also like country and pop. How about you?

[LunarSong]

I have to go *yawn* Don't know where you are but it's 10:55 here. Ttyl.

[Silent Wolf]

I grew up around country. I like a lot of different types, but mainly rock and screamo. :3 it's 10;56 here. :3

[Silent Wolf]

And Country. :3 of course...

[Silent Wolf]

So like, in this story, she and him met at school and he took her to the prom dance when they were sixteen. He proposed to her later on, and then she got pregnant. A couple weeks after they found out, he was called out to go to war, and he died five months later in the war. :3

[LunarSong]

Ah, how sad... So we're in the same time zone. I see.

[Silent Wolf]

I guess so

[LunarSong]

Yep.......

[Silent Wolf]

:3 Yerp derp.

[LunarSong]

Yerp derp?... I have a fried who says yeppers peppers.

[LunarSong]

Ah, friend, not fried!

[Silent Wolf]

LOL! Fried... Yeppers peppers? Sounds like fun! I've never heard of those kinds of peppers! Have you ever tried a ghost pepper?

[LunarSong]

No, I'm not overly fond of the taste of peppers or trying to burn my mouth ;) I've heard of them though.

[Silent Wolf]

I've had one. My mouth was numb for like an hour...

[Silent Wolf]

Well, more like half of one... My friend's dad grows them and she eats them like candy...

[LunarSong]

Really? Wow, is her mouth idk immune? Ouch, that must of hurt.

[Silent Wolf]

Well, she's been eating them for I think years, so yeah I kind of think it is... And I screamed when I tried it... One of the hottest peppers in the world, of course... :3 And I'd do it again...

[LunarSong]

Really? You'd do it again? I don't think I'd ever try, unless maybe take a small bite to get a large thing of ice-cream... but probably not.

[Silent Wolf]

Lol. Yup, I'd do it again. :)

[LunarSong]

Okay, well I guess it's your mouth. What did it taste like?

[Silent Wolf]

I don't know, my mouth was numb...

[LunarSong]

Did it go numb immediately? What does your friend say they taste like.

[Silent Wolf]

Almost. It tingled, then it burned, which was when I screamed, then it went numb... And I didn't ask her.

[LunarSong]

I'd be interested to know if you ever do.

[Silent Wolf]

The book is up. It's called "Falling In Love."

[LunarSong]

Okay, I'll check it out :)

[Silent Wolf]

Cool deal.