Out of the Darkness and Into the Light

Just something that I came up with. I'm trying to get better with rhyming...which isn't my strongpoint. :/

He saw the Light

Through the Darkness of his Heart

 

The Darkness almost broke him,

Nearly shattered him apart

 

The Light didn't give up,

It gave him a chance

 

To fix what was wrong,

To broaden his stance

 

Now he will step forward

And finish his fight,

 

Out of the Darkness and

Into the Light

Author's Note

Please leave honest opinions. I don't think I'll continue poetry if people don't like this...

Reviews

[Glowheart]

I really liked this. It has a good flow, and gives a nice mental picture.

"The Darkness almost broke him,
Nearly shattered him apart"

Not sure if its just me, but that little bit there sounded a bit awkward to me.

"Now he will step forward
And finish his fight,

Out of the Darkness and
Into the Light"

I really like that end bit. Its my favorite bit of the poem.

[TheKaylaPup]

its cool. it has a great flow and rhyme. It sounds something like God. If that is the indented symbolism, then you applied it quite well.

[HereWithoutYou<3]

This is a good poem about reaching out and standing up. I like it alot XD

[Ki]

Yes, Jess. This is great! The imagery, flow. The entire idea of the symbolism of light and dark is very interesting.

[Hippy]

turned out good, i feel i have heard some of those lines before

[Jasmine]

There are so many deep thoughts in those simple 12 lines, I like it!

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

I love it! Poetry doesn't always have to rhyme! Keep doing this!

[kelly]

it feels like it has a scence of power in it. it's really cool

[The Phantom King Alchem..]

Awesome job Keevan! This is really simple but it's very very very good! I like how you use the Light and Dark contrast. Classic, but true!
Keep it up! You're doing great!

[M Garcia]

This was really good. It flowed really well. I say keep going.

[lonelynightz]

I like it :)