On A Winding Country Rode..by Michael

Wendy had already been driving now for almost two and a half hours. She was on a winding country road in Pennsylvania on the way to her summer vacation. Anxious to get there and only twenty minutes away, she ignored her feeling of being drowsy from the long ride. That was a big mistake as she soon fell asleep at the wheel. The car swerved to the right as she woke up, but it was too late to regain control. It went over an embankment as the car rolled once and then came to a stop in the ditch below. Wendy lost consciousness once again. Five minutes later William stopped his car for no apparent logical reason on a winding country road in Pennsylvania. He peeked over the right side of the embankment as he saw a car laying there on its side in a ditch. 911 was immediately called on his cell phone. She woke up the next day in a local hospital nearby.  A few bruises and a slight concussion kept her there. A stranger introduced himself who sat beside her bed. He told her his name and how but knowing why he found her. Wendy was grateful for him getting there in time to save her life. He also was headed for the same resort on his way to his summer vacation. Each of their plans may have been delayed, but not canceled. They both continued their journey, only this time it was together. Three years later the newly married couple drove to their honeymoon. It was on a winding road in Pennsylvania...

For some unknown reason, a man stops his car. He finds someone in need of help and so that is why romantic trails take an unexpected twist and turn, in this short love story about Wendy and William. Case in point on a winding country rode in Pennsylvania...

 

 

 

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Reviews

[Z.S.T.]

This story has a certain mystique and I really enjoy that quality in someone's work; it's often difficult for writers to achieve this. My only criticism is that the short sentences seemed to detract from the overall feeling and made it a bit "choppy." If this story were streamlined and didn't rely on chronological events so much it would be absolutely spectacular.

[Michael Reisman]

Thank you for enjoying this.

[Lou Tracy]

I'm sorry, but this is weak. You have made poor use of the English language, both syntactically and lexically. There are no discernible characters or much in terms of plot, not to mention the absurdity of the central notion of the piece, and the whole thing halts at a simple generality that smacks of a Jorge Bucay yarn.
Overall, this is a poorly executed piece, lacking in both emotional depth, stylistic quality and technical prowess. If you are open to improvement, I suggest you try to construct a plot line and employ some stylistic devices in your next piece.

[Nick Wainwright]

I like this story a lot, it does have a sort of whimsical feel to it. But I agree with Jack. It needs to be fleshed out more--your characters could use more development and the story doesn't really evoke a feeling of being in it. That's an easy fix though!

[Michael Reisman]

Glad you liked it.

[eallen]

Reads a lot like a poem in rhythm and cadence and how it loops back on itself. Gives the story flavor. My critiques would be similar to the ones below

[Michael Reisman]

My mind creates what my heart feels. Thanks for enjoying this flavor.

[Jack Wolfe]

'm not sure if this is suppose to be a story or a synopsis of what's to come; if it's a story it needs to be fleshed out, rather than simply listing a set of events in chronological order, give your characters some depth and motive, also show the scenes transpiring through a narrative instead of 'telling' me (the reader) what happened. If this is a synopsis, its rather long, and you give away too much, a basic synopsis consist of a short paragraph meant to entice the reader into reading.

[Michael Reisman]

The analizing mind never sees, it just has no heart.

[Jack Wolfe]

'm not sure if this is suppose to be a story or a synopsis of what's to come; if it's a story it needs to be fleshed out, rather than simply listing a set of events in chronological order, give your characters some depth and motive, also show the scenes transpiring through a narrative instead of 'telling' me (the reader) what happened. If this is a synopsis, its rather long, and you give away too much, a basic synopsis consist of a short paragraph meant to entice the reader into reading.