With you...without you

From then till now

There used to be a time and that wasn’t not too long ago,

 

When a slight brush of your hand would send a ripple through my entire being,

 

When the sound of your voice would ignite a flame in my heart,

 

And the hope of our future would help the flame grow.

 

But now that my dreams have crashed,

 

And I have landed hard on hopelessness,

 

I find that the fire has gone out,

 

My heart is no longer warm.

 

I am in ashes without you.      

 

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

" I find that the fire has gone out,
My heart is no longer warm.
I am in ashes without you."

Oh this is very painful! The formatting and the pic is going perfectly well with it.
But in any poem I guess it is the "feel" which matters most and this one indeed is so full of emotions!
I could relate myself and that too very well with it.....Beautiful write to describe someone's heartbreak. :(

......

"With what a deep devotedness of woe
I wept thy absence - o'er and o'er again
Thinking of thee, still thee, till thought grew pain,
And memory, like a drop that, night and day,
Falls cold and ceaseless, wore my heart away!

[Adela Muresan]

Sad.

I like this song of a heart in pain, because it reflects pure emotion in a soft and sincere way.

A.M.

[Ladysue]

Oh Caffeine, I can relate!!! This was so heartbreakingly sad, but it is exactly what happens. I think Rain is a wise man!!! My favorite lines...

When a slight brush of your hand would send a ripple through my entire being,
When the sound of your voice would ignite a flame in my heart,
I find that the fire has gone out,

A beautifully write filled with a great depth of emotion. Great piece!!!

[V. K. Harris]

Heart felt, emotionally written, Beautiful...

[Rain]

It's always amazing to me that love can have such power over us. I once wrote a piece thanking all the girls who broke my heart, because each one led me to who I finally married. Without the pain of those lost loves I would never have found her. I understand the pain. Rain..

[Spoken]

I'll never understand the untamible oceans of love... one minute riding the waves.. the next caught in the undertow. One minute thinking this is the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with... the next minute you're left cold and wet wondering when the tides changes? Love is so confusing... Wonderful piece!

[Danielle Asher]

wow! you could have writen this for me this week. i love this piece. the last line is sad and it touched the deep deep saddness I am feeling right now. "i am in ashes without you." This is the kind of piece I wish I wrote. I love what you did with the color. thanks for sharing. it's beautiful.

[Thanh]

i like alot, I can relate it. it happen for me before.