Can I erm...steal your girlfriend?

Inspired by a prat! (These are not my thoughts but of a bloke that I know that thinks he´s God´s gift to women!)

Hey mate i am so sorry to hear,
That you and your girl have split up you fear.
Tough break mate you´ll find love again,
But can i ask you - can i steal your girlfriend?

Yes I know that your relationship has only just ended,
But i think it would be great if she was now my intended.
I don´t care about her looks her eyes or her rants,
I only care about the dangley bits in my pants.

I´ve only known her five minutes but I know her so well,
I´ll text her tomorrow with O.M.G´s and L.O.L´s.
I like any sort of girls noble or regal,
Good and experienced or even barely legal!

I take her for drinks and try to act cool,
But I´ll sack her off when i get beaten at pool.
I´ve tried her and her lovely sandra and becks,
Now I´ll scroll down my phonebook and see who can be next!

I´ve have no boundaries I live life to the full,
I´ll bombard you with texts and fill you with bull.
If you show me no interest I´ll still give you a look,
And if you´re really lucky I´ll poke you on facebook!

How am I still single I don´t understand,
What it is about me that women can´t stand.
I´m a charmer a looker and quite a good catch,
Except on Saturday´s when I´ll be watching the match.

I´ll buy you flowers and chocolates and fairly cheap gifts,
And tell you nice things that will give a lift.
Here is your present I didn´t have time to wrap,
And here´s something extra - I´ve given you the clap!

So onwards and upwards another women to see,
And hope we get on well and maybe she´ll like me.
So we´ll go out for the night and I´ll splash all the cash,
But in the morning you´ll wake up with a rash!

So mate I´ll be there to help you along,
To win back your bird with a s****y dance song.
But if she says no you´ll know what i´ll do,
I´ll do what I know and steal her from you.

So if your relationship´s in trouble and there´s an end in sight,
Just give me a call you know that i´m right.
I´ll be your hero baby right till the end,
I´m not your mate I´ll just steal your girlfriend!

Reviews

[Max Murphy]

HA F*****G HA!! Fabulous, this has to go up on the freezer at work. And you just know he still wouldn't catch on, genius. Long live Nicky 'Little Nicky' Sunley.

[Succubi]

funnyy..."and here's something extra-i've given you the clap"
haha wow! lol...funny as hell...