I am Written

This poem is both abstract and literal, as there are dual meanings.

The writer tickles her fingers effortlessly across the keyboard,

sliding them back and forth as if dancing to some steady refrain.

She begins her story, and then begins all over again, and again,

working out her frustration on words once thought to be good.

She then deletes these pages from her laptop screen, disgusted,

like ripping paper, wadded up and thrown into the ugly digital void.

 

She is not born

She is not forged

She is written

 

The writer drums her fingertips on the hard maple wood desk,

considering various characters and relationships, lost in thought.

She stares out of the window at the wind blown leaves flying by,

thinking, “what is the key, the hook, the plot within the journey?"

Brushing back stray hair, she begins to tap out a girl, her heroine,

working to define the character with backstory and motivation.

 

She is not born

She is not forged

She is written

 

The writer continues to develop the girl, with key life experiences,

describing the dirty deeds, her foul foundation of blood and stone.

She writes with phrased broad strokes of trauma at her father’s hands,

taking deep breaths as she let’s go, now traveling back, and back.

She allows herself to go to a time when all types of abuse filled her life,

to a concentration-like camp where pain was measured in moments.

 

She is not born

She is not forged

She is written

 

The writer sighs, returning her eyes to her laptop, sketching out the start,

defining the times and places, releasing the lines of terror and agony.

For she is now the girl, breathing and tapping, breathing and tapping,

as she goes far down that black hole to pull out the truth of what was.

She let's loose the horrifying words, now covering the once empty page, 

for she is free of that past, now in control, and with that, she is written.

I am not born

I am not forged

I am written

©2012 Barbara Brown

All rights reserved

05/31/12

Author's Note

The poem, in the literal sense, is about how I handle my difficult childhood. It is the process I go through to grasp those ugly recollections and purge them from my soul. Writing about the past is cathartic for me, though I know that is not the case for everyone.

The poem, in the abstract sense, is about the writing being that journey through life, taking control, and living with honesty. "I am written," is an abstract phrase that has been stuck in my head for awhile. I wasn't sure how to explain what it meant. To say, "I am written," is to say that I am in control of my life, I am writing my own story now...my own life...no longer a victim.

Awards:

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger 4th Place

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

You know, studying italian literature i've always heard of that "mythological" poem structure called Prosimetro, but i never really had the opportunity to read one ... well, even though your verse-part is a refrain, i can finally say i did, and it was amazing ! This poem structure is not for eveyone, you have a great talent, plus, focusing on the poem itself, you've given us a superbly written mix of feelings and a "main story", well done :)

[Helena]

A good beginning to capture the reader's interest. The use of stanzas in italics worked well. A strong story line. Well done! Thank you for "Keeping The Dream Alive"!

[BLBrown]

Thanks so much for your review.

[Jeanette]

What an inspiration!!! I absolutely love it, thank you for sharing! =)

[marytownsend]

This is beautiful! I love the phrase "I am written"! Reaching that point in life where we face a blank page, take control and write our own story. Very well written!!

[joshua deathdealer]

This is kinda scary.. lol I really like the subject and that way it's conveyed here.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Barbara,

I like this a lot. And I think it is true that through writing we can define ourselves. We play our selves and our lives over and over. We examine, then examine more. It is a process of discovery. It's almost additive in the sense that there is an empowerment over ones life. It also helps our understanding of ourselves.

Nicely worded. Very insightful. Highest marks on this.

Best regards,

Rick

[Chip]

It was nice write. I think the repetition of the italic verse - not sure what its called in poetry - was too much. I did like it however at the end when it changed to "I". Maybe you could have one instance of it and then at the end make it "I".

Other than that you did a good job!

[Lumière Dé..]

This is so powerful and touching. Very well written :)

[Liderien]

I like the twist there in the second to last stanza. very well written

[Bitter Overdose]

I loved reading this - it's fresh and inspiring and very, very emotionally charged. You never cease to amaze me!