I am Written

This poem is both abstract and literal, as there are dual meanings.

The writer tickles her fingers effortlessly across the keyboard,

sliding them back and forth as if dancing to some steady refrain.

She begins her story, and then begins all over again, and again,

working out her frustration on words once thought to be good.

She then deletes these pages from her laptop screen, disgusted,

like ripping paper, wadded up and thrown into the ugly digital void.

 

She is not born

She is not forged

She is written

 

The writer drums her fingertips on the hard maple wood desk,

considering various characters and relationships, lost in thought.

She stares out of the window at the wind blown leaves flying by,

thinking, “what is the key, the hook, the plot within the journey?"

Brushing back stray hair, she begins to tap out a girl, her heroine,

working to define the character with backstory and motivation.

 

She is not born

She is not forged

She is written

 

The writer continues to develop the girl, with key life experiences,

describing the dirty deeds, her foul foundation of blood and stone.

She writes with phrased broad strokes of trauma at her father’s hands,

taking deep breaths as she let’s go, now traveling back, and back.

She allows herself to go to a time when all types of abuse filled her life,

to a concentration-like camp where pain was measured in moments.

 

She is not born

She is not forged

She is written

 

The writer sighs, returning her eyes to her laptop, sketching out the start,

defining the times and places, releasing the lines of terror and agony.

For she is now the girl, breathing and tapping, breathing and tapping,

as she goes far down that black hole to pull out the truth of what was.

She let's loose the horrifying words, now covering the once empty page, 

for she is free of that past, now in control, and with that, she is written.

I am not born

I am not forged

I am written

©2012 Barbara Brown

All rights reserved

05/31/12

Author's Note

The poem, in the literal sense, is about how I handle my difficult childhood. It is the process I go through to grasp those ugly recollections and purge them from my soul. Writing about the past is cathartic for me, though I know that is not the case for everyone.

The poem, in the abstract sense, is about the writing being that journey through life, taking control, and living with honesty. "I am written," is an abstract phrase that has been stuck in my head for awhile. I wasn't sure how to explain what it meant. To say, "I am written," is to say that I am in control of my life, I am writing my own story now...my own life...no longer a victim.

Awards:

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger 4th Place

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

You know, studying italian literature i've always heard of that "mythological" poem structure called Prosimetro, but i never really had the opportunity to read one ... well, even though your verse-part is a refrain, i can finally say i did, and it was amazing ! This poem structure is not for eveyone, you have a great talent, plus, focusing on the poem itself, you've given us a superbly written mix of feelings and a "main story", well done :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the repetition in this poem. Gave the poem strength and purpose.
"I am not born
I am not forged
I am not dreamed
I am written"
Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Jaslin K]

Really nice piece. The structure of the poem was fresh and awesome. good work!

[MandaBear]

This writing is awesome, portraying an author's efforts and struggles with intensity! I honestly love this piece! Epic! XD

[Emerald Seas]

Barbara,
You write with such conviction of spirit each time. I commend you for your strength my dear friend. You've found a way to articulate and share with us much of a personal story, a personal struggle in such a profound writing. We've talked quite a bit about many things... your last "fearlessly, for she is free of that past, now in control, and with that, she is written." and your last statement in your note... I can relate so very much and have kept that as my inner voice for a long, long time.

Excellent dear friend - and going in my favorites!

[.....]

A nice mix of poetic prose and poetic verse here. My one suggestion is the use of 'the writer' too many instances of it makes it repetitive and it becomes a nuisance, you've already established at the beginning that this person is a writer, I think it only needs saying once and then just continue on. You definitely have a poetic voice in here, with use of figurative language and poetic devices. If you just take out all those 'the writer' save one or two, then I think it would be perfect.

I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

Blessings, Tammy

[Matt "Mickey" Denney]

This writing is awesome, portraying an author's efforts and struggles with intensity! I honestly love this piece! Epic! XD

[devon]

I found this especially beautiful.

You always amaze me. It's like you can so simply write an amazing poem, and make it yours. You take everything you write, so beautifully, and own it so well.

:)