A son, A wife and a dog

The first chapter of the tale of a young solider

Matt was a young lad not far past 26 when he signed the form, no where near old enough to fully understand what he was getting himself into. He had a kid , a wife and a dog and loved them all dearly and would sourly miss them when he left.

 

The night before he was due to hop on a train and travel down to the beach where a genral from the army would cart him away, he sat alone in his study. His child was at school, his wife at work and the dog curled up at his feet. It hadnt fully hit him how much he would miss this place when he left, it still all seemed like a dream, or a passing thought that wasnt really happening.

 

He'd always been a genlte lad through growing up and noone was really sure where the descion to go to war actually came from. He'd never played with guns, or even prented to play with them such in the way little kids do placing there fingers together and repeatadly saying pow at passers by. Matt wasnt like that at all infact he never did much but read as a kid and nothing gory more happy little fairy tales where everything ends on a good note. Its why it came as a shock to everyone around him when he called the family into his rather spacouis living room and announced confidently with no doubt in his voice.

 

"Im joining the army i leave on the 18th in 3 months"

 

Some sat around staring at him, as if someone had fired a gun right there in the room. There faces filled with morbid shock. A few laughed thinking it was nothing but a joke. A few cried, but noone tried to diswaid him otherwise. He didnt say anything else after that statment just awaited replies that never came, and eventually after standing for 10 minutes he left the room and went up to study where he locked himself in and let his words sink into there minds.

His son was the first to voice his opinon. Stumbling in from school and placing his bag neatly by the door mat shrugging of his coat and chucking it ontop of the washing basket.

"Whats for dinner mum im hungry" he said popping his little head round the door frame

"oh hello..noone told me we had guests"

Silence. The boy looked puzzeled not quite old enough to register that something serious had just occured, but sensing a feeling of natural unease in the room. He glanced from face to face trying to register some clue as to the familys in ablity to voice words. After a while he decided it was all a little too much and turned sharply on his heel and ran upstairs to his room.

Author's Note

Tell me if its worth contuing and what you think so far

Reviews

[Twilight]

Although I like this, as far as it goes, it would help if you indicated who is supposed to be telling this story? Then, it would be easier for me to decide if the dialogue and behaviour of your characters is appropriate. The uncertainty of your protagonist is understandable, but his fears could apply almost as much to other areas of life. I wondered, if the wife being at work and their child in school, had left some kind of void in his life? Thus, he might be looking for an escape?

You have identified various reasons, why this character does not seem like the sort of person to join the army. By implication, it is some kind of spontaneous decision on his part. As your main character is nearly past 26, it seems unlikely that he would make such a life-changing decision with so little forethought? I would still like to know what happens next, in your story. A promising start to this tale, Cappi!

[Akina]

you have written it really great!
the writing really draws a picture in my head how everything is happening. really great, and PLEASE continue :)

Akina

[London Calling]

Hiya,
Apart from the SPAG errors I loved it! Please do continue, I have the feeling that it gets 'painful'.
I love your descriptions, how you paint the picture in my mind, I would definately request more of this story and with a dash of speed!!!!

Fabuleux! Mes yeux, je vous remercie!