adjectives lost

adjectives lost



you split my infinitive

i became a preposition with no object
of attention,
thus my sentence is forever
intransitive

and i no longer have use for the verb
"to-love."




erin-cilberto
11/12/15

Reviews

[Tomás Ó C..]

Great twist at the end to show the emotion of the broken relationship!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Tomas...

j.

[Firebird]

I wish I'd written that. I read it out loud to my son and he thought I had but only an English teacher could pull that one off.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah, thank you for that...i appreciate you reading it to him...and letting me know his reaction...read moreah, thank you for that...i appreciate you reading it to him...and letting me know his reaction...

i often read lines and poems on this site that i wish i had written...

[Firebird]

Yes. My children don't like my verses. They haven't heard them all but they find them too depressing for a mother to write. Maybe I should keep them to myself more often.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

someday.....they will appreciate them....very much....

[Firebird]

Maybe. I hope so.

[Firebird]

I told my mum about them. She doesn't like poetry and still hasn't read them it's probably just as well. The ones I have read to my husband have made him laugh. He doesn't think much of them. Too many cliches and rhyming bits for him and far too much hyperbole. He has told me I should show them to a psychiatrist.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is sad...your poetry is engaging and would have a big audience....my family never really got me, or what i write...i think it is a family thing.
my mom used to read my friend's poetry book and say "i like this, i can understand it!"

[Firebird]

:/ oh..that must have hurt. My husband has written lots of clever poetry but he doesnt like much of mine. It's too simple and cliched for him. I only started about two months ago and I just write what comes out. It's from my heart. I cant bring myself to spend ages over adjusting things, I just feel compelled to get the words down and post them straight away.

[Firebird]

Oh! :-/ Clever and very sad!

[Cryingkate]

That's his sentence and he's sticking to it. Hee Hee ,Period !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks , Connie.

j.

[rubie]

I love how you've blended creative whimsy with a topic that is so painful and sorrowful.

wonderfully clever!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, rubie.

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Adjectives may have been lost--but not the humor, not the tragedy.
An excellent bit of work!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Jimmy.

j.

[JayceeC]

This is fun, even though the topic is sad. It made me wonder how many people would look up what an infinitive is or the meaning of intransitive. (although I must say I tend to use them frequently being a bossy mother...lol) I'm sure not many will remember beyond the language nerds. Clever use of grammatical terms and homophones to highlight the split of a relationship and being left to wander without a direct purpose. It it in the last line that we see the real tragedy of your meaning.
While love makes good poetry, the loss of it adds a whole new dimension to a writers work. One of these days I want to find the time and energy to crank poems out like you do.
Jan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Jaycee...

funny, i don't really have much time at all, teaching 6 classes along with other obligations....but i just tend to write within the crevasses of that life...and for me, much like it was for Frank O'Hara, they just sort of pour out in bunches, usually...

i appreciate your in-depth reviews.

j..

[JayceeC]

I find I usually spit out one or two, or go on a writing spree and then nothing for a bit. I always find our different processes fascinating.

[Adam Adams]

Lol ... you sounds being funny thou' evocative as well .. at the same time .. with words. Nicely swung! I like how you gathered the whole s***s of word & well shaped & turned into something poetic and so philosophical reading. Amazing. Enjoyed reading it for sure!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Adams.

j.

[Chris]

Knowing it was tongue-in-cheek didn't help... the sense of hurt still filled the mind.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris...

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

As the sadness lays upon memory I trust these words will find you well.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, my friend.

j.