Cold Friday in the Rain

Cold Friday in the Rain

 

 

posthumously blue

after hours aura

a sacrilegious offering of rings and bones

and sunken eyes reading the patent

on the underside of a coffin lid, no place to put a book mark

when attention span wanes with wormy foreclosure

clothing rots like rodents on the side of the road

the scent of final thoughts encrypted

on lips opening to rotting teeth,

but the valuable gold fillings smile through

seeds of doubt,

the man talks to himself and knocks on wood

as the stagnant odor of regret

overtakes him

he wishes he had danced one last dance

with love,

before they laid him out

with lead shoes on an altar

he didn't even believe in.

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/10/1o

Reviews

[Cherrie Palmer]

A powerful ending, Jacob. Regret such a poor bedfellow.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your visit and words, Cherrie.
j.

[Michael Oliver]

Love the title - might pinch it as an homage.
And that closing line is a killer - excellent.
Sums up so many lives of convention.
Poignant - the regret makes my eyes water.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Michael.
j.

[Ana Papaya]

Heavy feet and a heavy heart.
The weight of burden is sometimes too much to bear and we should not take these things to the grave.
Yet too often people do. This poem makes me feel sad. Nicely written Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ana.
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

The below lines. Wishes, we all shall make.
"the man talks to himself and knocks on wood
as the stagnant odor of regret
overtakes him
he wishes he had danced one last dance
with love"
Powerful and worthwhile poetry shared Jacob. Thank you for sharing my friend..
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, my friend.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Sounds like Bad Friday.
You've certainly captured a bit of reality, here.
As is often the case, not a pretty sight.
Powerful write!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Jimmy.
j.

[Jon Roggie]

Given the chance, who wouldn't want to have one more dance?
Better than lead shoes.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, better, :))))

thank you, Jon.
j.

[drew garner]

I know I have said this before but I find that the strength of your poems resides in the last line. This one swings from beautiful descriptive imagery to being borderline sentimental but ultimately works on a level that sometimes is spooky. It is a cool trick how you can make the mundane strange and beautiful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Drew.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

You shouldn't go to your grave with regrets or even have to suffer a funeral service you don't believe in. Made me shiver a little. Great write Jacob

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Chris.
j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Regrets regrets regrets... the thing thats haunts us all.
As always some very clever analogies.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Dale.
j.

[KWP]

and that's the trick ins't it - to realise that the present moment is all that is - everything else may just be a rumour.

I love this one of yours Jacob - it's got a different feel to it. Slapped with regret the feel is cold the view is bordering on macabre. I love it that even though he is dead he is thinking about the current time and space he abhors so much. It's a real vision and one has to wonder why, what happened that he didn't have his last dance.

Love it X

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, KWP...
j.