A Little Less Naive Everyday

Written from the point of view of my 9 year old self

My parents got divorced last year. I was 9 years old. I have to say, I did not see it coming.

Sure, my Dad wasn’t home much, but I figured it was that way with everyone’s Dad. Mom spent a lot of her time in her bedroom. She still does, but now I know why. She drinks, as in booze. Quite a lot of booze, actually. A few months ago, I was sick of her drinking. I thought if I could find out where she hid it, I could throw it away and she would stop. I was pretty naïve back then. I had to look that word, naïve, up in the dictionary. My older sister called me a naïve kid one night. After what happened, when I found Mom’s booze, I could see why she called me that. 

I had waited for a day, when my Mom went out on errands. I stood in the hallway leading to her room, trying to figure out where she would hide it. She never came out of her room, so it had to be in there, somewhere. As I pictured her drinking it, it occurred to me,  I’d want the drink to be cold. She didn’t have a fridge in her room. Then, it hit me. The toilet! Well, not the toilet bowl, but the toilet tank! I went into her bathroom, lifted the tank lid and bingo; there it was! A bottle of Vodka. Details stand out in my mind. My stomach felt funny. I guess, in a way, I was hoping I wouldn’t find it. Like it was all a bad dream and finding it, well, that was real, wasn’t it? I saw the label bright and clear-Smirnoff Vodka. There was no soda or juice. God, did she drink it straight? I took off the cap. Man, it stunk! I poured it down the drain. I don’t know why I put the lid back on the bottle. I, then, took the

bottle outside to the trashcan. I pushed it way down, under a bunch of other trash. She’d never find it now! 

Like I said, I was naïve, back then. 

I went out about my business, which was playing. I went down to the canyon at the end of our street and messed around. Other kids were there. We looked around for trap door spider nests. We didn’t find any, but we did watch a tarantula for a while. I was tired of doing that and decided to go home to watch TV. 

When I walked in the front door, I could hear my Mom yelling. She was slamming cupboards and doors. I tried to avoid her, but she heard me come in. She came into the living room and snarled, “Do you have it”? 

“Have what”? I asked. 

“You know perfectly well what”! 

At first, I could only look at her. Really look at her. She didn’t look very well. She looked sick, to me. As she told me that she needed it, I felt like everything had gone blurry and I was seeing through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars. I had this sense of my Mom being the child and me, being the parent. It was a very weird feeling. I didn’t like it, at all! It hit me; this was a problem that was too big for me to understand. It hit me, that throwing away the bottle, was not going to make my Mom stop drinking. Still, I held out hope. “I threw it away, Mom”. 

“You did what? Who do you think you are? Who gave you permission to go into my room? You stay out of my things”! 

I walked out of the house and climbed up on our roof. That is my thinking spot. The place I go to when I want to be by myself. As I sat with my back up against the chimney, I could hear my older sister and Mom getting into the car. I knew they were going to the liquor store.

 

That’s when I heard my sister say, “She’s a naïve 9 year old”.

 

Yeah, I was, but I am becoming a little less naïve everyday.

 

Reviews

[wordman]

a sad story but true to many people it seems now that drugs has become the no 1 factor
great poem
Ron

[Craig2591]

Some of my earliest memories are coming home from school and finding my father (who should have been at work) passed out at the kitchen table with a bunch of empty beer bottles. One of the hardest things I faced as a child was trying to explain to my friends what was wrong with my dad. If I came away with anything positive from that, it's this... my daughter, who is now 26, has NEVER seen me drunk!

A touching story. Grown-ups have no idea what effect their actions have on their children sometimes. It even causes them to write stories about it decades later.

[Barbara Walker]

Then you know what I'm talkin' about! Thanks!

[lissamia4]

I knew/know i you felt. My mom also is the alcoholic. It was hard growing up. They you for the story.

[Barbara Walker]

I feel feel you, hon. Very hard. Thank you.

[Soul Fire]

Sad. Alcoholism is truly a disease..I hope shes gotten help for it. What a tragic story. I can relate to the Dad leaving and parents divorcing/ separating part. So tragic. Good work, well penned as always

[Dr. Wood ?]

tragic...I think some parents fail to see the love their children have for them..In this case of course the mother has a massive problem...Only by kicking her habit will she understand

[Ahmad Cox]

So true. You have a wonderful way of relating lessons into your life experiences.

[Pax]

i could see that you've grown up a little faster than you think, but still I'm hoping you enjoyed your childhood despite the hardship... Adults becomes foolish when their drunk...I think your not naive...you are just being thoughtful...but i think you've guess that was not the answer...

a great truthful write..

[Ama May Cooper]

This story was painful to read as a child who saw similar things if not to extreme's but in different concept growing up. But i wasn't a naive child , i have always been intellegent and inquistive, i understood long before i was meant to and that was my downfall and always will be....my mind evalutes to fast before i was given a chance for innocence.....The idea of this child so innocent and as you said naive slowly realising that the world was not so rose tinted, that things were not so simple and beautiful , i pity the emotions behind it..... a beauitful piece of writing for certain, i could not of wrote a better piece myself

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe some kids must grow up too quickly. Adults can be foolish. Always wanting too much and lost concern for the people they once loved and cared for. A very sad story. We grow up fast enough and lose our innocent too quickly in this fast pace world. The complete story was very good. Thank you for the the outstanding story.
Coyote