The journey

hope is a good thing ; probably the best of things and every good thing is mercilessly butchered to death :D

Life is a mystic journey , with illusions aplenty
To live a simple one is what we crave
But like a twitched fork , it always behaves .
A linear sequence of scares awaits
To take them head on is what everyone hates .
But the bountiful of pleasures that lies before
Lures one and all to nullify the threats , whilst moving ahead .
At times we find ourselves in despair
With no one to speak to, no one to share .
In times like these , life seems to be a curse
Perhaps for the misdeeds of our previous birth .
To get respite from the turmoil that keeps unfolding
We either drone in pain , or keep on playing the blame game
Despite all this , we keep striving and making efforts
Our souls giving the backup , a gleam of hope doing the patch up !!
This is how life turns out to be
Springing surprises mostly during times of crisis .
To stay alive is all we need to do
Cause the basic fact remains the same , it ain’t anything new
" It’s the love for your life , that will always see you through "

Reviews

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

At times we find ourselves in despair
With no one to speak to, no one to share .
In times like these , life seems to be a curse
Perhaps for the misdeeds of our previous birth .
To get respite from the turmoil that keeps unfolding
We either drone in pain , or keep on playing the blame game
Despite all this , we keep striving and making efforts
Our souls giving the backup , a gleam of hope doing the patch up !
This is exactly how i felt today,there are many a times i feel,as if i am carrying scars on my soul of a past life..but to voice so would be called silly,yet when life throws you in pain,angst,sorrow again and again,you tend to question yourself why me??..
Very weel expressed and i loved the way it ended on a positive and universal truth which we tend to forget and ought to be reminded.

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Good write on an interesting idea..Like the way that you went with it..Keep the creative pen flowing..Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my work..I appreciate you doing that..I haven't been to Ireland but researched some for a contest on another site because I would like to go to Ireland someday if at all possible..Sunflower..

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

The poem was nicely written. I really liked this a lot. Awesome write. Thanks for sharing. :)

[JENY]

stoic…
There is every possibility for you to become a philosopher…
I am not joking….

[Liza]

this was a very simple yet profoundly insightful expression of the ironies of life and how love pulls us through, empowering us through the bitter pain that weakens us yet strengthens us through all the rain

[ShaneBerry]

hmmm, i think you could have done a diff format, but i liked it non the less, id like it more as a story/explanation, but as a poem its ok

[Ashley.M.E]

nicely down, a good poem.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

what an honest movement through the epicenter of self~ as long as there is the pearl of hope somewhere in the distance we can pretty much maintain a semblance of volition forward~

[Lydia Blackwell]

It seems you have a multitude of different opinions on this one. I tend to like it because I like when people speak the raw, honest truth. It isn't always perfect or pretty, but it speaks to the beauty and contrasts of pain and hope. Hope is so important. I think for us to suffer through everything that life throws at us, we must, at the very least have hope. grammar aside (and I am a stickler, sorry) I think it is a good piece.

pleasures that lies before should be -pleasures that lie before

[Abdul Aziz]

Nice poem, but I think it leaves a lot to be desired. I've seen you write much better poems :)
You might have employed this style intentionally though. But it doesn't quite gel together well.
Some lines could have been quite great, but are dragged down inadvertantly. For instance, "Our souls giving the backup , a gleam of hope doing the patch up " could have been great, because of the thought that went into it, but ultimately, "backup" and "patch up" sound somewhat out of place.

Line 3, the inversion to make the line rhyme is evident. I think you should look into it, and make the rhyme more natural.
Line 4, I think "But the bountiful pleasures that lie before" would have been better.
Line 9. "No one to share".. I think it should be "no one to share with", or something along that line. I see that you have done it to rhyme here, but again, you could have chosen something better :)
Penultimate line, I think the informality could have been avoided. Or an apostrophe could have been added before "cause", but thats of very minor import.

I see that the message you have tried to convey is really good, but you do not do sufficient justice to it, in my opinion. The poem is just a bit too simplistic. Try changing a few things here and there, and I'm sure it will be great :)