Everything's Illuminated

My interpretation of a teenager dealing with terminal illness.

"It's terminal."

That.

That's it.

That's all it takes to shatter your soul, to make your entire world collapse into complete and utter chaos.

Two words. Four syllables. Eleven letters. Twelve characters.

I waited for the tears to arrive, but they did not come. I stood, frozen and cold-hearted. My parents grieved for me, as if I was already gone.

I didn't know what to do for the first few weeks. Go to school? What would be the point? I won't be needing GCSEs where I'm heading.

Talk to my friends? No. They treat me differently-as if the slightest wrong remark could kill me, as if terminal illness was infectious.

With all this anger, confusion and denial building up inside of me, not being let out...I eventually exploded.

I emptied my wardrobe. I tore down posters from the wall. I threw a chair at the wall. My parents waited, waited for me to get over it...or crack. I did neither. I collapsed on the floor, in my ransacked bedroom, and the tears finally came. They did not stop over the next few hours.

It had suddenly hit me. I was going to die. I was never going to get married, never going to be kissed, really kissed. Never going to have sex. Never going to go to college, have children. Watch them grow up, until finally dying, in my own time.

The days slipped away like seconds, and with each second I got weaker.

I slipped one day, in the garden. When I was put in the ambulance, I silently said goodbye to my house.

Life support. Beep. Beep. Beep. The nurses talking, patients coughing, noise, noise, noise...did I really want to die? Did I want to die in the midst of this?

Snow. It snowed. My final days and it snowed. I slipped out of bed one morning, up the elevator to the roof-top garden. I lied on the ground as the snow buried me.

It was quiet. I was at peace.

Everything was illuminated.

Author's Note

I would love a lot of reviews, and I would like them all to be honest. However, do take into account that it is my first ever story, and also, with criticism I would also like advice. :)

Reviews

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

This tore at my heart stirngs. Terminal is a word I know well. It hurts to hear even if it's not about yourself. My husband is gone because of a terminal illness.

This story was so well written. Sent shivers through me.

[Bachman]

That's a very deep subject and I think you did very good at this writing. Did you write it in word first then post it? It helps with grammar and spelling mistakes. I really do like this otherwise. I feel very sad for the character, my heart wants to pour out for them, but then at the end I felt good for them. I love snow too, nothing makes me happier except maybe rain. Rain is a good omen when you're buried.

[Jules]

its only short but its so honest which i love :D i think its a really sweet story which u prob dont want to hear as i believe ur a guy right? :D its an interesting subject to pick for your first story is there a reason? jules x

[English Rose]

Fantastic, clear and concise- no waffle, just straight up and utterly honest and thought provoking.

[Very Old Account]

This is great. I love, love, love to read more from you. I wish it was longer, and it could a lot better written as so.

[Sav]

this is amazing. the emotions and feelings are really just, wow. honestly, i almost shed a tear. even though it was short, it was incredibly moving.

[ShadowHaze]

This was really good. It had depth and emotion and great detail, even though it was short. It showed how much people should really care about what they have and not complain about what they dont have. At least someone could get at least a single kiss... At least someone could have kids... At least someone could go to college. But when something dramatic happens in your life like that, then you kinda wish you woulda lived life to its fullest and didnt just sit there saying you were bored day after day. Live life to its fullest and you wont regret anything when your time of dying comes. Honestly, that's exactly what this story tells us. Great write. Please, please keep writing. This was absolutely amazing. And even more amazing that your a new writer. Unbelievable.

--Haze

[LetiStoned]

it's very well writen. wat a spelndid job!! it's even better that you are a new writer soo that's even better that you have such a good.....story so far!!
Keep Writing!! XD

[Stacey Watts]

This was very well written. I must say you are very talented. I think one of the hardest things to do is draw people in with emotions. You did. I felt as though I was watching your story unfold. This was a great short story. You might want to consider turning it into a novel. This was truly an amazing piece though. Excellent work.

[LynnRutland]

I found this story really beautiful, which isn't easy to convey with such a difficult and painful topic. I found myself wishing that it were longer if for no other reason than to better understand the transition from desperation to tranquility that seems to be experienced by the narrator at the end of the story. Really lovely.