I Am A Ninja

my ninja skills have never failed me.

I am a ninja. Plain and simple. Now, I don’t dress like a ninja, that’d be too obvious, and I’m not actually a master of Kung Fu or whatever. But I’m still a ninja. I wear a pink bandana around my head, and it gives me ninja powers. For example, I am absolutely excellent at pillow fights when I have on my bandana, but without it, my hits are floppy and weak.

 

Just the other night I had a pillow fight with someone . . . to protect her identity (she got whooped bad, and I don’t want to embarrass her) we shall call her Lisa. Now, Lisa didn’t know who she was dealing with when she threw that pillow at me, making me spill my glass of water. She was in no way prepared for the epic battle that began because of her throw.

 

I loaded myself with my bandana and two pillows, and poised myself to strike. She ran at me, full speed, and I slapped her face with the pillow. I laughed at the simplicity of my task. But then she snatched the pillow from my hand! How dare she. She tried to hit my stomach, but I dodged it and recovered by hitting her in the leg. She stumbled, but did not fall. I rushed to the bathroom and waited for her to settle down, thinking she had won.

 

I heard her sit, and I pushed out of the bathroom.

 

“Hi-yah!” I screamed and threw my pillow at her, smacking her square in the chest.

 

“I wasn’t ready!”

 

I laughed. “That is not my problem.”

 

To make the rest of the story short, I won. She lost bitterly. And she was so upset, that she challenged my ninja-skills by asking me to do some simple yoga moves.

 

“Do the Crane,” she said snootily.

 

I gave her a cold stare, then assumed the Crane position. I heard her astounded gasp.

 

“Oh my God I can’t believe you did it!” she cried.

 

For those of you who don’t know what the Crane position is, it’s when you use your arms to hold up the rest of your body, which is in a crouched position. When I came down from my magnificent yoga pose, Lisa clapped for me. She gave me a standing ovation, even! I was so proud, but I knew it was coming from the second she’d challenged me. I am a ninja, after all. Yoga is my strong point. I know, I know, you wish you were me. But maybe some day, you can do the Crane position, and you can win an epic pillow fight, too. But probably not. It’ll be too hard for your non-ninja body.

Author's Note

this was for a contest... I was supposed to brag about myself, but do it humorously. NOTE** this actually happened. i didn't do the Crane all the way (i used my head a bit) but basically this is what happened the other night.... what can i say? I'm a ninja.

Reviews

[paparapapa]

You're amazing! :)) This was really funny and I loved the air while reading this. I can totally imagine you doing it with a smug look on your face. And the last sentence just killed it. Brilliant work. Thanks for submitting this to my contest. :)

-A License to Brag-

[grace]

haha, i loved this! i was laughing and smiling. great humorous laugh! you gotta do the crane for us now;)

[13ReasonsWhy]

You are a superb ninja!!! Amazing! I loved it! Humorous but still bragafull... If that's a word... Lol. :)) I wish i could do the crane.... As you know I am totally non flexi.... But that's okay! Now I'm blabbering so I stop.