When T.H.U.G.s Cry

Do you know what it sounds like when T.H.U.G.s Cry?

There aint no sobbin or snivelin

Just hard stares into the sky as they as to be forgiven

Have you heard what it souds like

When a THUG crys

BANG

Thats What it sounds like

That me aginst the word attitude

Mixed with all the liquer poured when piers die

BANG

When they see the blood of thier Family

Ya Thats what it sounds like

Its a product of the enviornment

But dose the government care

BANG

They Are the targets of the goverments hate man

Can you hear the retaliation of torutured minds

BANG

The Hate U Gave Little Infants Fucks Everbody

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

Hmm,
a call to sympathise with thug culture?

You make a good point:
"The Hate U Gave Little Infants F***s Everybody" - people generally aren't violent and 'anti-social' for no reason; something went wrong in how they were raised or what they were taught/what they grew up seeing all around them.
I like the acrostic-esque way you finished this piece; the bold, simplistic sentence speaks in loud volumes and stays with the reader as a conclusion to the topic explored.

Quite a lot of typos here. I suggest you fix some of them, to improve this poem's presentation, because it detracts from the impact a little.

"as they as to be forgiven" [as to = ask to?]
"Thats What it sounds like" [That's]
"That me aginst the word attitude" [against? That's me?]
"Mixed with all the liquer poured when piers die" [piers = peers? like brothers]
"Ya Thats what it sounds like" [That's]
"Its a product of the enviornment" [It's] [environment]
"But dose the government care" [dose = does?]
"They Are the targets of the goverments hate man" [government's]
"Can you hear the retaliation of torutured minds" [tortured]

Also, i wasn't sure whether some of the capitalisation was deliberate or accidental, e.g:
"Thats What it sounds like" [What].


Overall, a powerful and thought-provoking write. Hopefully this will stimulate some debate.
Thanks for sharing it.

I'll send you a poem of mine that looks at similar issues but from a different angle.

[distefano 401]

nicely done. the "BANG"s helped to break up the poem, made me read it more slowly and take everything in. i enjoyed this piece.

[Ankhesen Mié]

Really powerful and effective, despite typos, etc. Very in-your-face phrasing, and the ending made me start nodding. Well done!

[she makes me weird]

Good piece...I really enjoyed the "BANG". It made for great effect. I like how you showed examples of what it "sounds like when thugs cry.". I enjoyed.

[Str8jacket]

A very powerful message portrayed here. Other than a few spelling errors, it was written very well. Keep delivering your powerful messages, because you got something to say that deserves to be heard.

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

I liked how you used slang to help people to relate to the way that "thugs" speak. I was really interested in this poem until I got to "They Are the targets of the goverments hate man". Everything after this really made no sense to me. I didn't see how the very last line connected to the rest of the poem. I think you have a good idea going here but you may need some work done on it in order to clarify your thoughts and get the point across completely.

"they as to be forgiven" --- ask.

"Have you heard what it souds like" --- sounds.

"Thats What it sounds like" --- That's what.

"That me aginst the word attitude" --- against. world. You might want to try rewording this a bit. It was
confusing the first time I read it. Maybe something like "With that world against me attitude."

"all the liquer" --- liquor.

"poured when piers die" --- piers refers to a landing for boats. You need peer.

"blood of thier Family" --- their family.

"Ya Thats what it sounds like" --- "Ya, that's".

"Its a product" --- It's.

"of the enviornment" --- environment.

"But dose" --- does.

"They Are the" --- are, It doesn't need to be captalized.

"goverments hate man" --- government's. Hate man doesn't make much sense. I am not exactly sure as to what you are refering to here or who.

" of torutured minds" --- tortured.

[justjenn_2u]

Powerful and raw! Strong words holding no punches. I enjoy how you speak the truth in this piece. A tragic but fierce truth set to poetry! Very nice work, my friend!

[Lucinda Bogart]

This is an intense social statement. The fabric of humanity is torn and there haven't been any major leaders in our country with enough power to do anything about it. It's so much easier for some people to judge. It's a shame that this country spends more money on prisons than it does on helping people get a college education.