Raven Girl

And she, the vulnerable raven girl, becomes a graveyard.

She is the raven girl.

Said to be constructed of dank feathers

Of the ominous black bird that symbolizes death.

Ebony black hair cascading in wispy flourishes

Down her pale, parchment-like skin

And colorless funeral style gown.

In her hand a black rose remains clutched

Apparent evidence of her void heart

And the poison slithering around her veins, killing her slowly, softly.

But she is not entirely without emotion,

For she holds her beloved ravens close,

The only living creature that shares her remorse.

She stands idly by an old,

Long dead and barren tree,

In the middle of a long dead and barren wasteland.

On which skeletons lie

Half submerged, half protruding,

And hungry insects sucking greedily on their exposed brains.

She is an avid believer in justice, as well as revenge

And if ever she could take flight,

She would reap it on all those who inhabit the same planet as her and her beloved ravens.

On bloody nights

With scarlet dusk's

And crimson dawns,

Tainted plasma rains from her empty eyes,

Dripping into the cracked earth,

Bringing with it a feather from her coal colored hair.

And each night, she will stand before the pure white moon,

Painfully searching icy waters for a reason for her existence

And finding none other than to scare children into submission.

But she means no harm,

Not unless you harm her favored birds

She just wants to seek and find.

But beneath a dead tree in a barren wasteland one night,

Beside an ocean of icy depths and under an evil, pure full moon,

Taborri, the raven girl, jumps off the edge, and dives into the sky, as her ravens.

Author's Note

I was thinking of making a story from this poem, any thoughts on that?

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think there is a really good short story in this...i would expand it to that, yes.

it is a very eerie poem...i think of Wednesday Adams all grown up...

she would wear something like that and befriend ravens.

i like your use of the raven here...i often see them as the protectors rather than the protected..

your imagery is breathtaking.

[Riley Bray]

Haha you're actually right about the Wendy Adams reference! I hadn't noticed it until you mentioned it but it's so true! I'm glad you all are so supportive of this and the story I now intend to write for it! And I have to say, I agree that ravens are often portrayed as the protectors, but the strongest ones are often the ones that rely the most on something, or so I've noticed. Thank you very much for the review!

[She With Eyes Like Unsh..]

Beautiful imagery! This poem is very sad, but with a sense of beauty and longing. Keep up the good work!

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much!

[Shivam Murari]

"...shares her remorse.." People befriend the one who share their remorse. Well written! :)

[Riley Bray]

Thank you!!!

[Surbhi Khandelwal]

Go ahead..it is really wonderful and sensible :)

[Riley Bray]

Thank you!

[Delaney]

I positively loved it. I have a hidden sweet spot for very gothic and dark writing, so I was very much pleased by this. It was so eery, but also very melancholy. I got chills when reading it, which could've been from the poem or my fan, but I'm going with poem because I enjoyed it so much! I like the fact that it's a slightly common topic, but it is morphed into a different style, your style, and it shows a new perspective. Very good job.

Yours truly, Delaney

Oh, and if you have a refreshing idea on how to make this into a story, I say go for it.

[Riley Bray]

Thanks so much for the praise and the review Delaney!!! Really, it means a lot!

[Delaney]

You're welcome, anytime!

[quinfinn]

short story .....yes! it is a wonderfully entertaining and most engaging poem as well. edgar would be proud.

[Riley Bray]

Seriously? Thanks so much! I was expecting at least a few people to be against it but this is really unanimous!

[Zoe Marie Ross]

The imagery in this is simply breath taking and I would love to see where you take it as a story.

[Riley Bray]

Great! I'm getting pumped to write it now. :P Thank you!

[minnie:)]

I am seriously on your side about making a story for this, the poem was so constructive also very dark, but even though the poem was meant to be dark it still sounded beautiful when I read it
Great job :)

[Riley Bray]

Really??? Thank you!

[minnie:)]

No problem :)

[Tai Ryens]

Nothing could satisfy the interest of a man better than a ballad. I especially like the depiction of her death; just marvelous.~

[Riley Bray]

Great! Thank you.

[Horizon K.]

For some reason, i read this as a novelist and not as a poet.... perhaps because it was long and i skimmed to the bottom and read the author's note first, like I sometimes do... Anyway, this was beautiful, and it felt like a muse born from the pictures, which I also love and was drawn to. This raven girl is a fascinating complex soul. Is she lost.. or simply where she will always be, in this darkness? If she is the beginning of a story, I would read this story...

[Riley Bray]

If you honestly mean that, then I think I'll definitely write a story about Taborri. Thank you very much for the review! (And sorry it's so long haha).

[Horizon K.]

Cool! Let me know so i can read it!

[Riley Bray]

Can do!