The ruins

Writing quick as I go a love lost poem maybe

Old stones
Old pavers
Old headstones
Cracked earth
Rain pours down
On those ruins babe
Those ruins of my heart

Like tears
Wash away the dirt
Wash away the lies
Kick away the stigmor
Use my gum boots wisely
All yellow and shiny babe
Like a summers sun
Kick the mornings truth
Take away
The filthy deceit
The ruins in my heart

It’s November
I remember well babe
The ruins of our hearts
Like pebbles lying there
Some of circle
Some are square
The ruins
The ruins
You no longer
Rule my heart babe
The rainbow s🌈
End
It took the ruins babe
It also healed my heart
Babe

Saturated rain
On green grass
I lay here babe
Waiting for
The sun
To bake
My melted heart like cake
My soul dripping just like
That sweet icing babe
To make me whole again

The ruins
Are gone
At
Long last babe
Those special
My very own
Our very own old
Now
November
Ruins
Of our hearts babe
Like dust to rainbows 🌈
End
Goodbye the ruins of my heart
Babe

Reviews

[barleygirl]

An amazingly creative way to tell this story with intriguing imagery & just the right touches of repetition. I love the way, in spots, you make a brief statement, then a little further on, you expand on this thought including the first bit of introductory phrasing. It ends up sounding like a haunting refrain. I love the blend of this haunting tone with the seemingly-warm affection conveyed by sprinkling "Babe" thru-out. I love the way the ending is like a Phoenix rising from the dust, all with high originality! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks so muchly Margie xx

[Ghost]

It somehow sounds like song lyrics more than a song... But it was a very good write.. Thank you for sharing

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks ghost sorry for late reply thank you

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

I’m glad the end of the rainbow brought end to the ruins and the ruins brought new beginnings- the end is yet a new start- it reminds me of the song McArthurs Park- ‘ Someone left the cake out in the rain’ ... beautiful 🌹

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks so much
Yes love that song

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Awesome poem Julie. Love the way it flows so naturally and rhythmically- like a song. Seems so real like you are standing and talking intimately to an old love. “November ruins of our hearts babe”- great metaphor and imagery. Repetition of “babe” and “the ruins”-so poignant. All cleansed, she starts again...Beautiful.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks Annette
I really appreciate your review

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good five minute poem.
"Goodbye the ruins of my heart "
Hard to leave things behind and move on. Thank you Julie for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks for stopping by
And taking time to review much appreciated!

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Ok thanks I’ll visit yours soon

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Woke up day off Monday this spilled out quick didn’t know why or what but another five min poem