The Land of the Forgotten

The Land of the Forgotten

A Poem by Kandy
"

A poem of a soldier, dead or alive, enemy or ally.

"

I came to fight a fight

that I honorably fought.

I took out my gun and loaded it.

I put on my uniform 

with exceeding pride.

I looked at my compatriots 

and wished them good luck.

I looked at my compatriots 

and wished them goodbye.

We prayed to our God

to lead the noble way.

We prayed to our God

to spare us our name.

We took our positions

and began walking towards

the land of the forgotten.

We began walking towards

the land of battalion.

Mighty war, we thought.

We will fight with courage and passion

Mighty war we thought.

It will bring us compassion.

It will bring us our freedom.

So slowly we walked

towards the land of the forgotten,

toward the land of battalion.

We positioned our weapons

ready for the attack.

We stood in infinite silence.

We stood in infinite impatience.

Soon we heard the dreaded noises

of our enemies gunfires.

Soon we heard the dreaded noises

of our compatriots' cries.

Our hearts started running.

Our hearts started stopping,

and soon we found out

we were at a disadvantage.

But, oh mighty God, we 

came to fight this war

for our good men's compassion.

But our good men's compassion,

we soon sadly realized,

had run low because 

our hearts were running,

our hearts were stopping.

Soon my compatriots 

laid on the ground,

their souls taken forever now.

And I found myself

pleading the lord to 

spare me my name,

And I found myself

pleading the lord to 

spare me a bit of heaven.

© 2010 Kandy


Author's Note

Kandy
This was a poem inspired in a heartbeat and created in a rush. I read this article of a journalist who described how men died in war, both enemies and allies, and it caused my heart to flop with despair for them. The emotion was so raw that it inspired me to write this poem quickly before it went away. Don't forget to review. Thanks for reading!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This was an excellent poem. The way in which you repeated the lines- it added a certain frantic, hopeless tone to the poem. Like there was only so much time left for these soldiers, and they had to get the poem out -the lines out- right then and there. Very, very good.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

hey........."kandy , have u seen touch of orton- randy,
i liked ur's poem, saying so frankly,
u r a good writer, loved ur's this wallpaper of bunny,
i loved ur's poetry too, so i wanna give u 76 out of 90....."

Posted 6 Years Ago


A lot of mixed emotions were running while I read this poem. It is truly an appealing thought to understand both sides, and see how they are so similar, but also so different.

The poem takes us through a slow motion of a soldier's thoughts and I stand amazed by the details.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Beautifully told love! This is an epic tale that leaves me very moved! You have such detail here that renders the reader feeling every line! xoxo

Posted 7 Years Ago


in your author's note u said "the emotion was so raw", and the poem communicates exactly that. it is so unpretentious, and scheme of the poem makes it seem like the idea is what is most important, what ur trying to communicate, not the structure or rhyme of the poem, and yet, the repetition of phrases within the poem creates an internal rhythm on its own, which is really cool. i love ur style :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


This was beautiful and I liked how raw and honest it was too. Good work!

Posted 8 Years Ago


VERY WELL WRITTEN! ONE CAN VISUALIZE THE WAR AS THE WORDS ARE BEING READ! LOVED IT!

Posted 8 Years Ago


I'm interested in your choice of tense here. The past tense indicates the narrator/s have completed this action and are now analyzing. If you want to keep the quick-paced, frantic feeling of this poem, I might recommend a present tense. I also might recommend a change in the length, beat or rhythm of your lines. Longer at less intense parts and shorter when the intensity rises perhaps?

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is quite the amazing write here and interesting. I like how you tied up the ending part.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Well this is interesting you did a wonderful job on it rush or no rush! I like it really beautiful and something to weigh the thoughts on!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


The reality of ‘War’; to fathom its necessity is obvious, but to experience its involvement is a courage I can not assert. This poem reveals courage. Well written.

Posted 8 Years Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

608 Views
19 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 13, 2010
Last Updated on November 9, 2010

Author

Kandy
Kandy

Los Angeles, CA



About
Hello to the writing world, and hello to you! There's not much to know about me, except that I'm a high school graduate and that I'm just beginning to explore the real world. I have always loved t.. more..

Writing
Gone to Ithaca Gone to Ithaca

A Chapter by Kandy


Eavesdropping Eavesdropping

A Chapter by Kandy



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


~Truth~ ~Truth~

A Poem by Robbie~xoxo~


Forsaken Forsaken

A Poem by AK