World is a small place, but still the space is huge

What I should say? Just give it a read.

Good luck Bad luck: The world is a small place; still the space is huge

There could not be anyone happier than Ankit, of the Rameshwaram apartment. He had just cracked the IIT Entrance exam. Wishes were flowing towards his place from every relatives and friends of Ankit like rivers flowing into sea from every direction. A person was proud about himself if he knew Ankit, who had secured the 1st position in the country in a test that was considered to be the most toughest entrance examination in the country. He was the pride of his ecstatic parents, his friends were bamboozled and the person who had an enmity with Ankit, had to bite the dust and wished that he had be-friend the genius.

Ankit was a Tall, fair handsome boy and his looks were dazzling (if that’s not an understatement) and every girl in the town used to go gaga over his stunning looks and being so good at studies. But no one really clicked with Ankit.

Needless to say, Ankit was an Idol for many-a-bookworms in town and their parents used to send them to Ankit for tuitions. Ankit was a great-heart for all of the people and used to ‘guide’ (an understatement again) the kids free of charge.

He always had a smile on his face and was ready to help out any person, known or unknown, if he found any human being in trouble. He believed that everyone should respect life, the great creation of God and should consider ourselves lucky if we are presented with an opportunity to help ‘life’. He was well appreciated for his thoughts and justly thanked for his efforts for helping other people.

After he stood 1st in the IIT Entrance examination, the world seemed to shower its entire stock of Good Luck upon Ankit. The Chief Minister of the state rewarded Ankit a cash prize of 5,500 for the great honor that he had brought to the entire state. His parents were, you know, couldn’t be happier for their first born child, Ankit. As his Mother was a Doctor and his father an Engineer, the family had high hopes for him and he had successfully fulfilled every one of their hopes and expectations. The rewards were also huge. He did not have any ‘material’ wants that were left unfulfilled.

One Tuesday evening, Ankit decided to take a walk on the huge roof of their apartment. Ankit lived on the top floor, so he used to stroll on the roof often. It was a cloudy, damp and murky day. It was a bit windy; a gust of chilly wind blew every now and then, making it very pleasant to walk on the roof. There were many people strolling on every apartment’s roof, it seemed that no one wanted to miss this pleasant period. Many were chatting, few young kids were playing and some people were sitting on chairs, having a cup of tea or coffee and chatting away pleasantly. Ankit was savoring his life up to now. He had topped an examination that he had feared were too tough to crack, he had lovely parents who were proud of him, he couldn’t ask for anything more or anything better.

Few of the persons who saw Ankit on the roof of his apartment, waved at him animatedly, greeting him. Ankit in turn waved and smiled back. As he turned, his attention was speedily drawn to a person, or rather, a boy in his early 20s, who was sitting on the railing of the apartment standing next to his: Surabhi Apartment. The person was sitting on the railings of the roof of the top floor of an apartment that had six floors not counting the ground floor and the roof. If he slipped, even for the slightest second, that person would fall down and would probably be dead. He rushed towards the end of his roof and got as close he could to the person and said cheerfully, “Good Evening!”

The person raised his face (he was previously staring blankly below to the depths of the ground). He was near six foot tall, probably couple of inches short. He had a dark face, had a grown mustache and hair was growing all under his chin. His thick black hair was very unkempt and untamed. Not what you would call a ‘handsome’ face. But the most prominent features were his eyes and Ankit was caught by the specialty of them. His eyes were black and looked sad, but it also had a look of defiance in them and an bit of obvious anger of being disturbed from his seeming trance by Ankit.

“What is it?” he gruffly shouted at Ankit.

“Nothing!” Said Ankit, surprised and a bit hurt by the reaction of a simple greeting on that person. “I just wanted to wish you a good evening and wanted to know why are you sitting in a dangerous position like that.”

The boy raised his eyebrows. “Nobody has ever asked me that, and I see no reason why you should. Why don’t you go enjoy our life as everyone else and leave me alone?” He didn’t shout this time, but Ankit felt huge sadness behind his words and the defiance was now obvious. But Ankit didn’t understand what he was defiant at.

“What’s your name?” Ankit asked.

“Amit.”

“Hi Amit, I’m Ankit.” Ankit replied.

“Yes. I know.” Amit replied blankly. “You are the one who was on TV the other day with the chief minister just because you had topped some examination?” He added this line with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Ankit at once realized that he wasn’t dealing with some ordinary person over here. His idea about human beings was very apt and accurate, as he had studied a lot about human behavior and what they said.

This slight pause in the conversation made Amit gaze back to the depths from his position where he sat.

“Actually, I asked because that’s a very dangerous situation you are sitting now. If you slip even a little, there’s a chance that you’ll fall down. And I think that it’s not what you want is it?” Ankit restarted the conversation.

“And I seem to get exactly what I don’t want in my life.” Amit replied to his statement, not as a statement but more of a mumble, as if he were talking more to himself than to Ankit.

This statement of Amit worried Ankit a lot. He realized that this boy was clearly in a mental unrest, and being his nature, he wanted to help the boy.

Amit continued the conversation into a different lane. “So which flat no. do you live at, Amit?”

“302. Why do you ask?” Amit replied, still looking at the ground.

“No particular reason. We are neighbors, Amit. That’s why I thought that you might want to be friends with me.”

Amit looked up with disbelief and stared at Ankit, as if he just landed from another planet from a flying saucer.

“Why you want to be friends with me?” was his absurd reply.

“Well…I thought that we are neighbors, so I thought that maybe we become friends too!” Ankit finished this statement with a shrug of his shoulders.

Amit said nothing.

“You seem to be worried, Amit.” Began Ankit soothingly and slowly. “Why don’t you tell what’s wrong? Maybe I can help you.”

Amit looked away and gave a disheartened sort of laugh. “Nobody can help me.”

“Why do you think so?” Ankit persisted. “You may not find help from the persons from whom do you expect help, but you’ll find help from a person whom you least expect from!” Ankit ended his statement with a cheer in his voice.

Amit looked right into Ankit eyes with the same look of defiance that Ankit had seen the glimpse of. So much so that Ankit dropped his face.

“No one can help me now.”

When Ankit looked back at Amit, he was looking elsewhere.

“So why don’t you tell me what has happened to you that you are so sad?” at least it’ll help a load out of your chest!” Ankit reasoned, and Amit shot back with his look of defiance, but this time Ankit held his face looking cheerful and smiling.

Amit let out a huge sigh. “Okay. Let me tell you the story of my life, Ankit. Since you have on the 7th heaven of life lately, you may not even know what hell feels like, or worse, how ‘LIFE’ feels like.”

Ankit was shell-shocked by this remark and was left staring at Amit as he again looked at the depths of the ground as he started to narrate the story of his life.

“Well, I am the first boy child of my family in this generation. All of my cousins are my big sisters. I have no elder cousin brother. My dad was the youngest brother in his family. Naturally, all my family has huger than huge expectations from me. Expecting something great from me, but I failed in a disastrous way. Well, not initially, because I used to be a very smart kid. I had the complete Bhagawad Gita memorized and every evening I used to recite that in front of my whole joint family at the mere age of three. I was the apple of the eye of the whole family. ‘Such a talented Kid you got us,’ my relatives used to tell my parents. ‘This child will be a great man’. How wrong they were.

“When I was five, I got a younger brother. I love him more than my life. I used to be great at studies. But honestly speaking, I never enjoyed studies. It was my mom's continuous pressure and beating that made me study. Right from childhood, I have been beaten badly by my parents, to make me study.

“Anyway, I and my brother grew up. I had a fascination of two things even before I started school: - Tablas and reading books. My dad taught me to read Bengali books and used to read them very enthusiastically even though I despised studying. This interest grew on me as I grew up. I started reading English stories in my text books and found out how the English stories were different from the Bengali ones.

“So, everything was going on fine up to class 5. I even stood 9th in the whole class in my class four final exam! But that was the last triumph I ever saw in my life. In class 5, I don't know why, I failed my Mathematics exam. I scored a meager 7 out of 50. Then..........well, you can imagine. My paternal aunt was the in charge of the primary side. My parents and relatives told me that I wasn't good enough and they'll help me succeed. I was young and innocent at that time. I never knew to use my dirty brain. I just thought from my heart and thought that all the relatives were my well wishers. They took help from the kids from my class, taking me to their home, asking about their routine, their notes, having me see how they write and wanted to follow their routine. I didn't even know that I didn't like being compared like that. And believe me; I tried real hard to score. But I think I lost confidence in myself in my young age.

“Meanwhile, my little brother was growing up and he proved to be brilliant in academics. He always was in the top 10 in the school rankings and even though he moved up the classes, he never got down below 40. And me on the other hand, was sinking lower and lower after my one disaster in class 5. I could not pay attention in class, always bullied and pushed around and used by the classmates of mine. If ever there was a punching bag in the school that was me. Guys and girls both hurt me. Not physically, but emotionally. And that was where I was delicate. At my heart. They struck again and again, again and again, at my heart. I got betrayed by many people whom I thought were my friends but they were not.

“I started to realize that maybe I am good for nothing. I cannot do anything. I cannot do a single thing that would make my parents genuinely happy for me. Anything I had done. I had been sidelined and overshadowed by my little brother all along my life. But you know what? I'm not jealous. I'm happy for him.

“In class 9, I thought that I could take no more of life, so I ran away from home to join a missionary. But Very soon I was found out and taken back home.

“I started to live out my life. I had dipped majorly in all subjects. I despised History and mathematics of all subjects. But believe me when I say, that I tried my best! And I mean my best. I just couldn't pick up the stone.

“Guess I couldn't. Then I realized that maybe I simply cannot study. I am not made for studies. I have continuously heard from great men that every person has their own talents. So I dived inside me and tried to find out 'my' talents. A thing that I can be proud of and my parents as well.

“In that search for my talents, I made wonderful and true friends. I met and befriended my own shadow. My shadow won’t ever at least betray me or leave me! Right?

“Then I created my own world; my imagination world, that I would like to call the I-world. I was the king of the I- world and could do anything I wanted in it. I could be a superhero, a superstar, anything at all I would wish for. I made many imaginary characters and included few characters from comic books and befriended them.”

Amit had a misty look in his eyes now; he was smiling dreamily looking across his roof. After a deep breath, he resumed telling his life story to Ankit who was listening intently.

“I started to get back in real life, laughing as before, as innocently as I were and was living in the I-world all the time. Then, when I was discussing what is my talent with my shadow, he suddenly said that Hey! You got great imagination! And I realized that it was true. I can think pure. I was happy.

“Then, I logically interpreted my talent. Imagination makes creativity. So if I have creativity, what can I do? And then my eyes fell on a book I was reading. My eyes stuck on the author's name. Can I be a writer? I thought.

“And since then, I have been focusing on writing. I have put my life's research in to my novel. And that is the ONLY thing that makes my life living for.

“Last year, I almost died with the attack of twin diseases, I lived for my parents.

“But writing alone is not going to help you in your real life would it? I failed my graduation exams two times, Ankit. That would give you a clear idea what kind of student am I. This year, when I was appearing for my graduation Part two examinations for the second time, I made the biggest blunder of my life and misread the timetable of the exams. I missed one exam! Can you believe that, Ankit? Can you?

Amit didn’t wait for Ankit to respond other than sputtering and stuttering. He went on.

“All persons don't be friend me because I am not good at academics. Every person in this locality thinks that I’m a nutcase and a big looser. Even as now we speak, you may look around the people are staring at you, wondering a great person like you is listening to the rants of the laughing stock of the town.”

Ankit looked around at the persons who he had earlier seen smiling and chatting and playing with each other, now standing at the edge of their roofs watching them with surprise and shock.

Ankit frowned. “I don’t give a thought to them and nor should you. Please continue with your narrative. I am gripped by your story.”

Amit looked deeply relived. “Well, I thought that you will also think that I’m crazy.”

“Well, you are not and you should never think otherwise.” Ankit made this statement quite firmly.

“I am struggling in my life, Ankit. Loved by no one except my parents, wanted by no one at all. I proposed to a same girl twice and she turned me down both the times! Can you believe that? I made no friend in this immensely long life of mine and barely a day passes when I do NOT think of ending this life. No one believes that I can make anything out of my life. Me and my shadow’s confidence is really down, Ankit.

"There is not a single day when I do not think of ending this hell of a life. I was again, thinking of killing myself, jumping off from here. But then I realized that I would break my jaw. And I am not scared of death. I'm scared of dying. I don't want a painful death. AT LEAST I WANT A SMOOTH DEATH! ONE THING IN MY LIFE THAT IS SMOOTH! EVEN IF IT IS THE LAST STEP!”

Amit shouted the last three lines at Ankit and fell silent, panting. Taking deep breaths, calming himself down and wiping his wet eyes on his t-shirt. He then continued.

“I am sorry, Ankit. It's just that, I often feel very bad and burst up on the inside, so I'm almost glad that this time, I'm sharing my fury with you, even though you must be bored. I am very confused little kid who hasn't grown up from his mind at all. He still has an innocent brain of what........a 10 year old?? Somehow, I feel that my brain stopped developing after my class 4. Because I can see nothing that went right after that. Because if it had, I would know that my brain is developed. Even now, I sometimes do childish stuff.”

Ankit spoke up at once, “I’m not bored at all. I was just thinking that how can this be possible that we are such close neighbors and we never met! How extraordinary it is that our lives seem so much different and yet the thoughts are same! I never believed this would be possible.”

After a long silence, Ankit resumed.

“It’s just that this world is bad and cruel. You cannot stay pure and survive in this wicked world. You just can’t do this.” Ankit said with a heavy tone and a sad voice.

Amit looked at Ankit with that burning defiance look in his eyes and at last Ankit understood what was about behind all that defiance. It was the defiance against this world, the will to stay this way until he is wiped out by the cruel world or he has changed the face of this world for ever.

Later that night, when Ankit retired to rest for the day, he couldn't sleep. He stayed up late at night, staring blankly at the ceiling. The talk with the guy who had been living just next to his apartment had left him shaken. He couldn't believed that a person like Amit lived right next to him and he never knew of his existance! He compared his life with Amit. Somehow, he felt for him. Perhaps he understood how he felt.

Ankit was on the top of the world; but sadly, as the old saying goes: - 'It's lonely at the top'. There were a lot of persons who followed him as an example, but not to walk beside him, supporting him, but to topple him over. He did not have any real friends, he could never trust anyone to be his true friend as he feared that everyone was going to hamper his progress on his path of his career.

Ankit again thought about the defiance in the eyes of Amit. Amit is different, he thought. He may be the biggest looser in this life, but he was not ashamed of it. Instead, he was proud of it. Proud that he was not part of this 'chessboardish' world. He was different.

And maybe, the word different made all the difference.

Author's Note

Move along this one. Dunno what you would be thinking, but I just wrote it.

Reviews

[Belinda Rice]

I really like this story its is great..I told you once before you have a great hand for writing....And I agree with the others that the story being seen through someone elses eyes is wild and I feel like I can feel how the person felt cause I to was always afarid of what other would think of me it is sad that some of us go through that but sadly we do we all go through hard times and struggles we can get out of but yet some cant....Great write and I just wrote an new story to you know me as the poem writer but this time I spiced things up if you or anyone else would like to take look..Its about a women named Sunshine and its a sexual story not intended for under the age 18 lol.....but any way wonderfuly done Koodos my friend I will be giving this a high review....God Bless

[Imperfection]

I couldn't get to this earlier. But I finally have.

I like the fact that the story of the main character here is seen through the eyes of another person. Most of the time, we are so caught up in our own troubles that we fail to realize that others have problems too. Life isn't simple to anyone. There are people going through worse. Some lucky ones enjoying more and working less. There's such variety all around.

It is important to respect individuality. One may not be the top scorer in class and yet maybe successful in another area of work.

This one is good. The flow is generally smooth, interrupted by a few errors here and there but nothing that spoils the overall mood.

Nice write.

[Legion]

"I do counseling jobs for many persons who come for my help and respect my decisions and ability to derive results from mere facts. From kids to grownups, from childish love matters to grown up serious matters. But even a master psychologist needs help fixing his own life. I'm simply an ordinary boy! So how do you expect to solve my problems without help? It is true that I don't like taking help in establishing myself but this is life, Ankit!" - I would consider deleting this paragraph. It doesn't fit in well with the type of person people in the story view him as. He, after all, has no friends and only his parents seem to love him. If this is true, then why would all these people come to him for help or advice?

I am assuming that English is a second language for you. It shows in the writing (not that it is a bad thing, but that it just shows). As long as you keep writing and trying that will get better with time.

Now for the critique. Other than what I posted above, I find this story an excellent lesson about life and perceptions. The message is superb. Couldn't have done better myself. Thanks for sharing and kudos to you on it.

[Raef C. Boylan]

"test that was considered the most tough entrance examination"
[test that was considered to be the toughest entrance examination]

"He was the pride of his ecstatic parents[,] his friends were bamboozled"

"bite the dust and wished that he should have be-friend the genius"
[bite the dust and wished that he had be-friended the genius]

"He always had a smile on his face and [was] ready to help out any person"

"As his Mother was a Doctor and his father and Engineer" [an Engineer]

"the family had high hopes for him and he had successfully fulfilled every hopes and each expectation that were expected and hoped from him."
[the family had high hopes for him and he had successfully fulfilled every hope and each expectation that was expected and hoped from him.
This sentence seems unnecessarily long-winded. Suggestion:
'the family had high hopes for him and he had successfully fulfilled every one of their hopes and expectations'.

"strolling on every apartment's roof, [it] seemed that no one wanted to"


I have to get back to work - I'll come back to this for you.
I haven't yet mastered the 'Add Notes' feature, sorry.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Your newspaper will be lucky to have this story.
I just need to know: will it be published in English? There are quite a lot of grammatical errors, but I don't know if they've happened in translation and the story is fine in its original language or not.
Let me know and I'll come back.
Thanks for sharing this.