Rehab blues: I killed love

a song

Love was in my face
And I couldn't see
Was black smoke in the air
strangulating my oxygen
ridding my lungs of breath
she was choking me

I needed to live
I needed my life back
I needed to take control
I needed to fight back


It was love or me
It was live or die
She made my choice for me
I couldn't bare to die...

-NO!
I'm not a murderer!
I. am not. a murderer!!
Yes, I killed love!
she was going to kill me!

Ha! Love wasn't a sweet thing!!
She was a cold blooded filth
She'd get you high n swimming
while you die an addictive death!

I just needed to live
just needed my life back
So yes, I killed love
'cause she was going to kill me...

Reviews

[Helena]

A strong, dark gothic write! Thank you for submitting this to my contest!

Helena

[TL Boehm]

love is a mother. nuff said.

[Baby Ricochet]

Good job bro. I've never been in rehab. Do they have like snacks and s**t? I've read some of your poems and I think they're all good. Keep writing them. thanx...

[Wendy Seames Garner]

I wasn't sure if you were talking about a woman or a addiction like drugs. Otherwise, it was good.

[Tomi]

You show so much strength in your writing and this is another beautiful piece. very Dark though...Very well written

[Coyote Poetry]

A very powerful poem. I like how you twisted love to be the enemy. I like the flow of the poem. It would be a good song. I like the strong ending to the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Rhea]

gives a different aura ... good job.

[Lunny]

wait what, I dont' get this - Love was in my face
And I couldn't see
Was black smoke in the air
strangulating my oxygen
ridding my lungs of breath
she was choking me
if you can't see then how do you know what was in the air?
It gets stronger by a verso ^^

[kingblaq]

the odour

[Leslie Philibert]

Good piece of writing that needs a bit of work, I would delete the full stop in the second line of the fourth verse, a typo, sometimes a bit illogical, but you show here that you are a good poet with a lot of talent, so well done.

[Stabitha]

To me, the reason for substituting "addiction" with "love" isn't clear. Without the addendum, I'd find the poem confusing.

Why not actually name the addiction or addictive substance and "kill" it in the poem?

I think addiction is a huge and serious current subject - a poem about the power of addiction and the struggle to break it would be an excellent contribution.

Just my opinion.