8:40 AM/Numb

It's morning.
I can't fall back asleep,
I'm mourning the loss of myself,
My personality.
You see,
I'm a fake person
The personification of faux
I laugh when I'm stale inside,

Numb, because my mind is my foe

I smile at you with my face,
Yet I cannot fathom why...
I don't want to hurt people,

But all I can do is lie.
I'm not a good kid,
I'm not f*****g kidding
I've always fucked around
It's gotten much less thrilling.
I think I need to get away
"Forever," "For a year," "For now..."
It didn't start as an excuse,
But I've gotta watch what I say out loud
I fear being a Narcissist,
Besides; Sociopaths are trendy
It's been too long since I've felt,
Happy or sad, but truly,
I am scared
All the damn time,
Terrified, constantly paranoid,
That I will never get back
That depressed person I was as a kid
Back then, at least I felt
Something,

And anything is better than this,
Guilty, regretful, tragic s**t,
Idly hateful, self-loathing fuckery
If I could, I might kill myself-
Not because life sucks,
But because I've gotten the life sucked out of me,
And now I live off of other's feelings
Like some kind of numbing leech,
Drawing blood to nourish itself
Clamping down with hundreds of teeth
Like a nonlethal parasite,
An eyesore, and a sight for sore eyes-
I'd like to think deep down I care,
But I'll still wear my shallow disguise.
It's morning.
I've got to smile for the camera,
Get on with the show.
"Good morning!"
Time to act for the sake of those around me,
For better or worse, at least I'll seem happy
Or manic, or creepy,
But not numb,
Psychotic
Full of neurosis
Or god forbid, boring,
Or crazy
I haven't expressed myself lately.
It's morning.
I've got to go.

Reviews

[Crowley]

Well you just did express your self or whomever this may be about...lol, and frightfully eloquently. You seem to know exactly who you are and this downhill description is perfect. I love the start where the description of personality sets a firm footing for the thoughts and facts that come flying in later. "I'd like to think that deep down I care" a great sounding board for both others and self. A great introspective and societal comment. Great writing!

[Indra's Child]

Thank you for your review!
I always appreciate peoples takes on my art, it teaches me more about who I am, and thank you for the compliments and praise.
Booop boooop
Lp

[Zayir]

It's been a while dear friend. I see your mind is still going crazy haha. Calm, manic, paranoid, depressed, hostile, all these emotions that are expressed in the wee hours of the morning. Choosing which to be for the world. Robotically emotional. I love it!

Boop Boop
Much Love